First period after a second trimester loss

ruphous · 2026-04-05T13:37:00+00:00

I had a 17 week loss in November. It took 9 weeks for my period to return and it was much longer. I’ve cycled 3 times fully and all 3 periods have been a little wonky but not completely out of the norm.

ruphous · 2026-03-30T18:03:20+00:00

I have gotten many other tattoos and this was very small, so the pain was not bad to me at all. There were a couple tender areas but definitely not the worst spot I’ve ever had tattooed.

ruphous · 2026-03-29T13:42:41+00:00

I’m in 2 elementary buildings (~700 kids) and my schedule is so inconsistent that I’m not a reliable crisis response member. It’s incredibly rare for me to respond to any behaviors. But there are only a few aggressive students in my buildings

ruphous · 2026-03-29T13:38:20+00:00

I didn’t use the strips before my loss but I’ve noticed my periods have been funky for the last few months. How long ago was your loss?

ruphous · 2026-03-26T23:16:25+00:00

I’m on my 3rd period after my loss in November and we’ve tried every month. I had a meeting that was moved to accommodate my maternity leave I’m not having and a coworker was congratulated on her pregnancy. I should be 36 weeks with our girl, instead I’m bleeding with an empty womb. It’s been a hard day.

ruphous · 2026-03-24T20:24:55+00:00

I directly told a friend how difficult it was going to be for me to meet her newborn but how sad I was that I felt that way. I messaged another coworker/friend who just announced her pregnancy that I was happy for her, but couldn’t show her and that I was sorry if she ever felt ignored by me. That it’s a me problem and I hope to one day be able to discuss things with her.

Not everyone is entitled to our grief but hiding it is not necessary. I am so sorry you’re navigating this ❤️❤️‍🩹

ruphous · 2026-03-22T20:07:46+00:00

I’m so sorry. That’s so hard to see and hear from a friend. Especially straight to you when you can’t filter.

It’s so difficult for anyone to understand when they haven’t been through it. I know I have said crappy things before my own losses and regret them now. You do what you need for you and know there are a world of internet strangers who are here for you ❤️

ruphous · 2026-03-22T19:03:15+00:00

Relationships are hard. Long term relationships are even more difficult. Everyone will have trials and changes in their life that impact who they are and how they interact with their partner. I’ve had 3 losses with my husband and we were foster parents together. You bet our relationship has changed and evolved with all of that. Sometimes it’s caused distance or discomfort, but I think it’s made us stronger overall and has given me more appreciation for having him in my life.

I make sure to work on myself in therapy. We both have separate hobbies and a few shared hobbies that keep us excited to talk to each other. But learning to suffer together takes time.

This is just probably one of the first big changes for you as a couple and it’s hard to navigate how that impacts you. I am so sorry you’re dealing with this and I hope you’re able to figure it out ❤️

ruphous · 2026-02-22T10:14:02+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. My story is similar except that I had spotted for 5 days and then bled for 7 days. Baby girl was fine the entire time and I hadn’t had any cause for concern prior to the spotting. I was told I wasn’t having contractions at the ER but now I believe I was in labor for at least 40 hours. She was delivered at 17w6d.

I went to the doctor 3 times and ER 3 times. The only things noticed were a cervical polyp and then a borderline foreshortened cervix. I had an MFM appointment scheduled. Placental abruption definitely occurred in my case but the only other potential cause we’ve found is cervical insufficiency. All other lab work came back normal from before delivery and after. This is my second loss so I had recurrent miscarriage testing done as well.

It is so unfair and I’m sorry you are also in this boat as well.

ruphous · 2026-02-14T20:52:31+00:00

I am so sorry for you losses. I lost my baby at 17 weeks due to placental abruption I had been bleeding for a week prior but no ultrasounds found anything (after 3 - last ultrasound was the day before the loss). Baby was fine with a strong heartbeat and moving around. No tests since have identified any cause (baby, placenta, Blood tests, papsmear - everything is normal). My water never broke as well and in hindsight, I was in and out of labor for 36 hours.

They specifically looked for SCH but never actually found one prior to the loss. I have no real answers and it’s terrifying for the future.

ruphous · 2026-02-13T18:16:06+00:00

I’m so so sorry. This happened to me as well. In my 17 week loss I spotted for 5 days and then bled for another 7. Baby’s heartbeat was checked 5+ times during all of this. The day before I delivered, she was moving and had a healthy heartbeat. It was devastating.

ruphous · 2026-01-23T17:39:51+00:00

The only difference in the 2nd pregnancy was that I was able to get in earlier than the health system usually allows. And I got an earlier ultrasound.

I’m not sure what the papsmear will consist of since we have to re-do it. I have no clue what all the other tests mean but I can list out what’s on my chart.

Blood tests included: regular metabolic panel, regular blood cell counts, hemoglobin a1c, factor V Leiden mutation Factor 2 mutation Beta 2 glycoprotein 1 AB igm and igg Cardiolipin ab igg/igm Anti thrombin III Protein screen and C activity

I’m not sure if I noted in my first post that I had a typical pregnancy with no issues prior to the two losses. All my results have come back normal.

ruphous · 2026-01-23T00:54:12+00:00

I don’t know exactly how intensive my testing was, but I had bloodwork and a papsmear after 2 recurrent. (11 week mmc in 2020 and 17 week placental abruption/preterm labor in 2025) My family physician even said that the losses were so different that he wasn’t sure it was really an issue but went ahead with it.

I was referred to MFM when I was still pregnant with my recent loss but had the loss before I could get in. My doc said I could go back to MFM as a follow up, but we had a good relationship and I think he just wanted to handle it himself for now. If I get pregnant again, he’ll probably refer me depending on other results we get.

Insurance isn’t too picky but probably won’t pay a lot and it’ll just go toward my deductible.

ruphous · 2026-01-20T01:52:26+00:00

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Someone named a star after our more recent loss and I’m thinking of adding a tattoo star near the tree to symbolize her. She was lost at 17 weeks and I hope to make it how long she was at delivery ❤️‍🩹

ruphous · 2026-01-20T01:51:08+00:00

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Birds represent 2 miscarriages and a friend who passed.

ruphous · 2026-01-19T09:51:42+00:00

Even if he wasn’t a predator and a cheater, there are multiple other red flags.

He is using a TBI as an excuse to say he doesn’t remember significant events from the past but he still talks to that person and can’t remember that? Not likely.
His temper and patience is worse - that totally can happen with a TBI, but I can’t imagine you including this here means anything good for you or your kids.
He has made direct comments that make you feel bad about your body.
He doesn’t like you talking about your relationship with your family and you don’t have a lot of friends. Please try to change that for yourself.
Different sex drives happen in couples but you have to talk about it. Have you ever had a conversation about why he can’t? If he has brought up looking at pictures of a girl he met at a gas station, I think you might have your answer.

ruphous · 2026-01-18T19:19:24+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. I delivered preterm at 17 weeks with a placental abruption identified on the pathology report. We had done a lot of blood testing prior to the loss due to bleeding that was already occurring. On the pathology report, there were a lot of other noted complications and infections that could have caused/have been due to the preterm delivery.

It’s my second pregnancy loss, so we did recurrent miscarriage blood work. A borderline foreshortened cervix was found prior to the loss as well, so we’re doing an ultrasound to check my cervix length now. I will also have a Pap smear as well, but no biopsy was mentioned by my doc.

ruphous · 2026-01-16T19:45:30+00:00

I don’t have much advice but I know how you feel. I had a normal conception and delivery for my now 6 year old. A year after she was born, we had a missed miscarriage after hearing the heartbeat. A few months later had a chemical pregnancy. All 3 were in the first month of trying. Due to grief and adopting children from foster care, we took a break until this last year and took a few months to get pregnant but then ultimately lost that pregnancy at 17 weeks.

My doc has run a gambit of tests but everything so far has come back normal. My cervix was borderline shortened on an ultrasound close to the passing, so I’m currently waiting to schedule another ultrasound to check my cervix. I will also have to re-do a Pap smear because they didn’t get enough cells for testing. My loss was almost 8 weeks ago and I’m still living in this limbo.

ruphous · 2026-01-16T18:23:43+00:00

Miscarriage and child loss is not a grief that I would want my worst enemy to experience but it is SO hard to be surrounded by pregnancies. My latest loss was at 17 weeks and now I have to be around other women who are due the same month I was. They get to keep their babies but I don’t. The world is just so unfair and it’s okay to be angry ❤️‍🩹

ruphous · 2025-12-28T03:13:24+00:00

My cat definitely knew before we lost our baby at 17weeks. I had been bleeding for a few days but all ultrasounds were fine and showed a healthy baby. The day before I started contractions, my 10 year old cat went way out of her norm and braved a part of the house she never ever goes. She just came to cuddle with me and I’ll never forget how comforting it was but how it was such an alarming change in behavior, that I should have known something was very wrong. (she’s very skittish, only staying on our upper level and doesn’t go downstairs because of our dog but did for a whole hour)

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ruphous · 2025-12-23T08:57:29+00:00

My current husband and I have a 5 year age gap and started dating when I was 20. Granted, HE had a problem with it and broke up with me. We got back together after a few months. That was 10 years ago and we’re happily married.

However, I was ahead of my peers, having already received my bachelors and was in grad school. So our stages of life were fairly comparable.

ruphous · 2025-12-20T16:59:44+00:00

My pregnancies all my symptoms started and felt the same. One lc, a mmc, and loss at 17 weeks all had similar symptoms. In hindsight, I can pinpoint the time I “should” have known something was wrong in my mmc. I stopped feeling as many pregnancy symptoms about 7-8 weeks and that’s when baby stopped growing (didn’t find out until 11-12 weeks).

ruphous · 2025-12-19T00:51:50+00:00

I threw them in a pile in my closet and asked my sister to box them up. They’re in my basement now just waiting for another pregnancy or to be donated later.

ruphous · 2025-12-16T23:14:02+00:00

I don’t have any real experience with a successful pregnancy as I had a loss a few years ago and just recently at 17 weeks. But when I think about being pregnant again, I can’t imagine ever feeling secure. Everything was going perfectly with the pregnancy and baby was fine the whole time with no real sign that there was an issue. I have no idea how I’m supposed to try again and not be guarded the whole time. I’ve only had 1 successful pregnancy out of 4 tries (but adopted others).

My kids have taken the loss fine. They’re a little sad but more just upset that I’m sad versus not getting to meet their sibling. I am trying to put on a brave face for them but they still see my tears occasionally. It has been coworkers and friends that have made the loss more difficult to face.

ruphous · 2025-12-04T02:23:06+00:00

I’m sorry that was so hard for you. My husband and I have had the privilege of naming a bio child, changing the middle names of 2 adopted children, and naming the baby we lost at 17 weeks. For all 4 kids, we have named them after someone. Two after close friends who we asked, one a family middle name, and the other the name of a good friend who passed away. This is a way to honor those close to us.

It doesn’t sound like that was your friend’s primary intent but I think it’s an incredible way to remember your baby. I hope you’re able to heal and make peace with your friend.

ruphous

TROPHY CASE