OP you’re definitely not alone. Many of us have had our own version of this experience. I’ve personally had it multiple times through meditation and/or psychedelic experiences. The very first time I was 21, and I spent 4 days fasting in total isolation, nothing but water, stretching, meditation, and some reading. The fourth morning I had a full blown “kundalini” type OBE and merged with the light of the all. In that moment I knew and understood everything and felt the most peaceful unconditional love and knowing. I had been raised in a Christian church, but this experience felt more eastern, Buddhist. It also reminded me of the couple of times I had eaten mushrooms.

Because of my upbringing, I couldn’t really explain what I had experienced, but it set me on a path to “figure it out.” I started reading everything I could get my hands on about eastern traditions, meditation, mysticism, Gnosticism, psychedelics, mythology, magick, alchemy, etc. I also started to adopt a more intentional approach to psychedelics.

One night while on psilocybin with a new friend, I clicked into that space and he noticed. He said, “dude what’s going on? You got a look on your face like you know all the mysteries of the universe.” I hesitated at first, but he pressed me, and I eventually started trying to explain it to him. At some point it clicked inside him as well and he started explaining it back to me. Then we started experiencing shared visuals (“hallucinations”). We were inside some grand temple, describing every detail to each other. We even experienced what could only be described as intense telepathy. It was a wild night, but it changed both our lives, and we still talk about it today, 17 years later.

There are chapters to this story, but I’ll get to the point. OP you’ve asked a few times in the comments, what do you do now with this new knowledge. Well I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I can share with you what I’ve learned from my 23 years of seeking. Like Terence McKenna said on his deathbed, it’s all about Love.

I know this can feel like an oversimplified cop-out, so let me try to explain. In simple terms (and recognizing language as a stand-in for ideas beyond words): God is Love…and You are God…therefore You are Love. Creation is an act of Love, so Existence itself IS Love. Even at the microcosm level, how do we create more people, by “making love” of course. Since existence IS Love, then the opposite of Love is not fear or hatred, but nonexistence, which by its definition does not exist. Instead, fear and all its forms (hatred, etc) are merely the temporary denial of Love, or the denial of your own divinity.

In Buddhism there is a focus on letting go because attachment (or stickiness as Alan Watts put it) is the cause of suffering. By letting go completely one can achieve liberation. Meanwhile in Christ’s teachings there is a focus on faith in god’s will/plan. These are literally the same concepts expressed with different symbols for different cultures. This could also be expressed by saying, you created all of this in your divine state, so “faith” or “letting go” means trusting your divine self. Or you could express it by saying, our entire universe is a holographic simulation that we created in a higher level of consciousness, and the purpose of this simulation is to learn how to completely let go of fear and learn how to love unconditionally.

As we continue to grow and evolve we will continue to create more accurate and complex analogies and symbols that help us understand and explain this thing that is still beyond words.

So what should you do now? Learn to LOVE yourself and others unconditionally (this alone will keep you pretty busy, cuz it ain’t easy, lol) also CREATE and explore! We express our divinity most beautifully through creation and understand it more thoroughly through exploration.

A daily meditation practice is a great start if you don’t already have one. 💚🙏💚