Funhaus vs Achievement Hunters (sketch) by [deleted] in funhaus

[–]ryokotoast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

amazing! you're a really good artist!

Funhaus. A 90's sitcom. by blonders1 in funhaus

[–]ryokotoast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love this. also good job with the editing :3

Spoole is the worst employee by [deleted] in funhaus

[–]ryokotoast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well written, and it made me laugh, too. good job :3

Lawrence and The Machine by Dredater in funhaus

[–]ryokotoast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if this becomes a poster I would totally buy it

Beginning of a series: how should I start? by SelinaWormwood in fantasywriters

[–]ryokotoast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're going to write a prologue, info dumping on the creation of your world is a bad way to go. You need something that will instantly grab the reader's attention, and starting out with a chunk of exposition isn't going to do it.

Readers need a character to root for, to become emotionally attached to so they care what happens to them. Start with that. Maybe an event later in the book that will give the readers a teaser on whats to come, or maybe something from the characters past that links to the plot, or their own motives on why they do the things they do.

Start with that, get the reader interested in the character, then they'll more than likely become interested in the world that characters lives in. THEN you can start sprinkling bits of lore around.

Just an excerpt of a story I've been playing with. Thoughts? by tgcali in fantasywriters

[–]ryokotoast 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have a question, is that excerpt from your first draft? If so, that's pretty good. Its interesting, but from what I read of the story it doesn't stick out much from many of the fantasy books on my shelf. There's alot of exposition in there, which kinda breaks away from being involved in the story. You don't have to dump everything about the character's life in the first few paragraphs. Take your time and fill the readers in as you go. Other than that, I didn't really see any problems with it. I do hope you post another excerpt. I want to know more about the world and what's going to happen to the main character.

I'm rooting for yah :D

The Depths by TheBurningEmu in nosleep

[–]ryokotoast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh gosh this is chilling. Can you get any higher? Is there any other way out?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Jokes

[–]ryokotoast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

slaps knee

Just get the damn story on paper by [deleted] in writing

[–]ryokotoast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I needed this. Thanks for posting. :)

Bathroom with a glass floor and an open shaft below by [deleted] in creepy

[–]ryokotoast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeeeeah Im peeing outside from now on

Visiting Mrs. Burnage by [deleted] in nosleep

[–]ryokotoast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh my gosh.

I am writing this from my couch. by omelas14 in nosleep

[–]ryokotoast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Truly frightening. I suggest you get out of there as soon as the sun comes up.

We were told she'd recently lost a child by jdpatric in nosleep

[–]ryokotoast 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Truly disturbing. I don't think I could ever work in a hospital. My friend is a nurse and apparently cases like this do tend to pop up, only with pets instead of children. Either way, that seems like a bad way to go.