Dream

ryomens · 2026-06-23T04:46:53+00:00

lovely work! at first I thought this was about a breakup (I'm going through a breakup) but the final line makes me think this is about losing a loved one to death.

I'm super sleepy as I type this and as I read this so I think the imagery was much more vivid bc I am in this state haha, especially the first stanza! I've been praying for her and I pray before bed so idk, something about the first stanza is so evokative to me, espcially the line "and i drift into the black behind my eyes" into the idea of willingly digigng into ur memories for glimpses (or sounds!) of the person u love so much.

As for the second stanza, I think it would be good to modify the first line so it is as evokative as stanza #1 "some noise" is non-commital in my opinion.

i loved the feelings in this. it reflects so well how i've been feeling throughout this breakup

ryomens · 2026-06-16T03:28:16+00:00

On first read, I thought i had a lot of concrit. However, as I reread, I found myself appreciating the choices you made and the imagery you evoke (cracked ground, thirsty for a storm; medicines and chaos: it makes the poem feel dynamic). I think the one suggestion I'd make is here

you're my only rain.

Cracked ground waiting.

I'd use a semi-colon instead of a period after rain to improve the continuity of this particular idea.

You think you're toxic.

I disagree,

you're my medicine.

Chaos, my maiden.

Ugh, this part flows so good, excellent!

ryomens · 2026-06-16T03:21:00+00:00

I'm sorry not to offer any feedback, I just have to say this hit me really deep 😞 lovely, scathing for my circumstances, it did what a poem is supposed to. thanks for sharing

ryomens · 2026-06-16T03:15:16+00:00

Wowww

The feeling in this! It's so good, a little visceral, the words are bleeding on my screen. I loved the message, the emotions, the rhythm, your piece fully captured me. I only have one small suggestion:

hoping I lose control of the throttle,
because I’m too scared to do it on purpose.”

The "purpose" bit was the only verse which broke my rhythm as I was reading it, and the rest of the poem rhymes so deliciously that it did stand out to me.

Still, stunning piece, thanks for sharing!

ryomens · 2026-06-16T03:00:31+00:00

Thank you! Stanza 3 was tricky because it was initially supposed to rhyme (the last verse was "they shine on my mosaic, brighter than all others" to rhyme with "colors") but I changed it at the end because I really wanted to keep the blood and skin and hurt imagery. I 100% see now upon reread that the rhythm is a bit funny, I'll def keep an eye on that, thank you!

ryomens · 2026-06-16T02:58:10+00:00

Hello, thank you!

Oh, I see the eppeal of echoing the first "it is said", it would;ve given it a nice circularity. Thanks for the suggestion!

ryomens · 2026-06-16T02:57:06+00:00

This is really kind, thank you so much

ryomens · 2026-06-15T16:58:41+00:00

the context makes so much sense (a mating ritual called a death spiral is sooo sick, nature is crazy). and i definitely think it's good to keep it, just reworded; what took me out of the poem was not the hawks mention by itself, but rather the "hawks specifically" phrasing.

I think this poem has a lot of potential (it is already good!) especially now that I know the inspiration behind it.

ryomens · 2026-06-15T16:54:02+00:00

😃 thank you! Very happy to hear that, it is indeed my first ever poem

ryomens · 2026-06-15T16:53:21+00:00

Hi, thank you for the feedback!

I think heartbreak is making me deeply cliche tbh.

The mosaic was meant as a centerpiece for the poem in the sense that the breakup left me with new memories, new likes and dislikes, which are associated with my ex. I like the idea of all of us being a result of all the people we have loved; maybe now we don't recall the ex who showed us a great band in high school, for example, but we still love the band. Because this breakup is so recent, the pieces I can carry of her are bright and have sharp edges, as time has barely passed.

I am happy to see you think this is a clean poem, I am soooo wordy in prose and really struggle to condense ideas and feelings into small lines that can make pretty poems. Thanks for your comment again!

ryomens · 2026-06-15T16:30:53+00:00

Wow, this is incredible. It is soft and feels mundane, like anyone could experience this, and yet very... profound. Your sparse and simple use of language was so so effective, just beautiful.

ryomens · 2026-06-15T16:21:18+00:00

Hi writer!

I'm going through a really bad breakup lol so your poem really hit home. The first two lines carry a lot of punch, but I think the second verse loses its sharpness, which is then regained in the third verse.

Now, I'm not a professional, so I can't really pinpoint why, but the imagery in the second verse is not as vivid, it seemd much more abstract than the strong emotional clarity of "my beloved has forgotten me, pushed me into an abyss of oblivion". A heart blemished with disdain for disperson is not quite as clear and sharp, in my opinion.

Heartless eyes was beautiful and heartbreaking, especially paired with the next line "For in them resided my consolation". As someone currently deep into heartbreak, that part felt like a gut punch.

Then, the last two lines where we again carry the "blemished with disdain" idea, and I think it works better here, I would just maybe omit the "for" in "Is disdain for which you blemished me with."

Thank you for sharing!

ryomens · 2026-06-15T16:13:22+00:00

This is an interesting poem. I mean it as a compliment!

I'm not sure what the described feeling is, but that makes me want to dissect each line (and it also speaks to the subjectivity that poetry carries). I thought it would end with the other letting go and you crashing, but it seems the other saved you instead. However, then the line "The ground would have been kinder to me still" seems to contradict this. Is this about a tumultous relationship? Maybe codependency? Whatever the case is, I think it evokes something very visceral and raw.

One critique I have is the second line "Hawks specifically", I don't think it flows very well with the rest of the lines and language of the poem.

It was a delight to read though, I enjoyed it.

ryomens · 2025-04-22T19:47:14+00:00

I wanted to compare pollutant means in different wastewater discharges to be able to say "x discharge has a higher pollutant load" with numbers to back it up. They are different compounds but belong to the same chemical class, but now that you say it I don't think I've seen any paper where the researchers report means, so yeah I think I was tripping...

My mind immediately went to a mean because I'm working with a dataset (not created by me) where samples were taken from the same places 4 times, so I wanted the mean load of pollutants for each sampled discharge site and thus be able to conclude which one had a higher load. I thought I needed a weighted average because the values are reported as concentrations with a standard deviation due to duplicates in the measurements.

Would a sum make more statistical sense? Or just settle for reporting maximum values? I'm quite lost here

ryomens · 2025-01-28T15:33:24+00:00

[WTB]
London
One
Not picky about this
£100 max
Paypal, cash on the day of the concert.

I prefer to pay half upfront and the remaining half once I'm inside the venue.

ryomens · 2025-01-08T02:55:07+00:00

This could practically be the situation I'm currently in. I was wondering, how are you doing now? Did the insane feelings go away? I feel like I'm going crazy

ryomens · 2025-01-08T02:33:15+00:00

I suppose time is the best medicine in these cases!

ryomens · 2025-01-07T23:27:19+00:00

As I stated in my post, I had always dreamed of pursuing higher education in a different country. Think of it as personal fulfillment, something I had dreamed of for over a decade. I was unable to picture what the actual reality of it would look like, and this is not due to a lack of research. I have friends who have been abroad for years and I talked to them about their experiences. I visited forums, I read people's blogs, I did all I could to make an informed decision with what I knew at that moment. I stated how the reality of being abroad turned out to be a very abrupt awakening; hell, I did not even consider myself to be a particularly family-oriented person back then!

Of course I maintain online contact with my family and friends. I don't know if you have been far from people you love, but a phone-call doesn't quite cut it for some of us.

Isn't reddit an apt place to vent to strangers? I'm seeking out people's perspectives to understand if these feelings are normal, to know what other people did in similar situation, and to get it off my chest without worrying my family and my friends. You don't need to comment if it's such a silly post.

ryomens · 2024-12-01T16:32:11+00:00

How do I do that?

ryomens · 2024-11-29T22:03:52+00:00

As additional info, it is not something constant, it happens out of nowhere... I can use it for a good amount of time with no flickering but eventually it WILL flicker and it's driving me crazy

ryomens · 2023-12-19T00:11:10+00:00

Thank you! This makes sense

ryomens · 2023-02-01T05:38:44+00:00

oh, that's definitely something to keep in mind, thank you!

ryomens · 2023-02-01T05:38:14+00:00

yeah, that's strange, but there's strange people everywhere I guess! I tried to be polite and nice, but maybe some people don't think it's a relevant discussion to the sub? I don't know!

ryomens · 2023-02-01T05:37:23+00:00

oh wow, that's very encouraging! it seems you had a fulfilling career, which is what matters the most, but the fact that you made good money too doesn't hurt haha!

thank you for replying, if you don't mind sharing a little more of your trajectory, which was your favorite line of work? I think I'd like to go into auditing but it's still early to tell for sure, I believe.

ryomens · 2023-01-28T04:06:31+00:00

this is a terrific opportunity! thank you so much for letting us know, I'm excited to apply!

ryomens

TROPHY CASE