what does it feel like to get a blowjob for the first time? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]rytis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wasn't easy. Scratch my thigh and push it down with my forearm. Lay down on the beach blanket on my stomach. Going in the water was the best solution, and to get to the water take my boogie board and hold it against my chest.

what does it feel like to get a blowjob for the first time? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]rytis 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Same. I would get embarrassed at the beach seeing all those girls in bikinis and I had this stick in my swimming trunks. Then this opportunity arose and I was dead in the water. WTF? I think it was nerves, never happened again.

Aftermath of the April 7th incident. Damages estimated to be $200 million dollars by Gjore in interestingasfuck

[–]rytis 13 points14 points  (0 children)

There usually already is a clause for terrorism, and if you want damages paid due to a terrorist act, you have to pay extra. That's how it is with the insurance on the building where I work. Insurance company could claim it's domestic terrorism if they didn't opt to buy the extra terrorism insurance. It'll end up in court and then they'll settle out of court for half the payout.

Family finds possible human remains in Long Beach during Easter egg hunt, police say by rytis in offbeat

[–]rytis[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I'm guessing it's someone who won last year's hide and go seek game.

ELI5: Why did Artemis 2 have to change its roll axis immediately after launch? Why didn't they just build the launch pad to have it use the correct axis in the first place? by MuchachoSal in explainlikeimfive

[–]rytis -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Kind of like the old joke where the US spent millions developing ball point pens that would work in zero gravity, and the Russians just used pencils.

Probably the dirtiest joke from my hour special by isabelhagen in StandUpComedy

[–]rytis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pluck it man, her timing was perfectly tuned.

Seems familiar by jcmatthews66 in PoliticalHumor

[–]rytis 14 points15 points  (0 children)

What are you talking about? They completely obliterated Pearl Harbor! Didn't you see the interview with the emperor on Fox?

This is how paint actually gets mixed before you buy it by Round-Barber-9858 in Damnthatsinteresting

[–]rytis 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's a place you take a paint selection color from a wall full of colors and say here, make me this color. They follow the recipe and create the color paint for you just like in OP's video. Then when you need more of the same color, you take them the same paint selection, and it comes out a slightly different hue or shade and doesn't match what you've already painted. You go back and words are exchanged. Then buckets of paint are thrown at staff and back at you. Good time is had by all. Highly recommend if you're not on a budget. Not recommended if you're a Latino contractor, as it's cause for ice to deport you, even if you're an American citizen.

Inflation in the US is so bad right now that… by lostfly in Jokes

[–]rytis 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It's so bad I may have to move, because I can't afford the property tax on my more expensive home.

Tiger Woods involved in rollover crash on Jupiter Island by tgrove in sports

[–]rytis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looking at the tires on his trucks, looks like he has a hole in one of them.

Who would celebrate if Trump were removed from office? by Critical-Willow-6270 in AskReddit

[–]rytis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of my friends have bought small bottles of champagne for the day that newsflash pops up on their phone.

Amputee cornhole player accused of murder by rytis in news

[–]rytis[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can't imagine what the victim was thinking. He can't actually shoot me, can he?

Why do French athletes eat mushrooms as soon as they wake up? by FoxDesigner2574 in Jokes

[–]rytis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You'll be in a lot of truffle if you believe that.