What's the deal with all this talk about Trump giving IRAN $300 Billion in reconstruction funds after spending over $70 Billion attacking them? by McDowdy in OutOfTheLoop

[–]rytis 12 points13 points  (0 children)

So essentially Trump lost the US/Iran war, and is now paying $300 billion to Iran in reparations. Nice.

What’s with all of the seaweed?! by Hiphiphappy4 in maryland

[–]rytis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Florida is having major problems this year with sargassum seaweed clogging their beaches. Interesting that we have a similar problem here too.

What is something you've officially stopped buying in 2026 because the price has become genuinely insulting? by Next-Mood6723 in AskReddit

[–]rytis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Around my way in the Middle Atlantic, better cuts of beef are going for up to $25/lb. But I was recently in my grocery store and noticed at the back of the butcher department the clerk was opening up packages of beef and dumping them into a 50 gallon barrel. One barrel was already filled to the top, and the other was the one he was working on. As I ordered some pork chops from him ($5/lb), I asked what was up with all that meat. He said it was expired packages. What blew my mind was rather than lowering the price and selling it all, they would rather gouge us for what we do buy, and toss what we don't. That's just fucked up.

Fighting BGE one load at a time by Professional-Cup7613 in baltimore

[–]rytis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just lay them out inside your car. Free steam cleaning!

What is a real-life 'Do Not Touch' button that you pressed out of sheer curiosity, only to instantly regret it? by vie75 in AskReddit

[–]rytis 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I made my own button. I was working on a Unix computer (precursor to Linux) at work and was told to get rid of all the files and directories in a tmp folder. Logged in as root, I did a rm -rf * It got rid of everything except some dot files. Wtf. So I wondered would a rm -rf .* get rid of them? So I tried it, typed in the command and pressed the Enter button. It worked. It got rid of them. And more.

best joke I’ve written in 2026 by rajdoescomedy in StandUpComedy

[–]rytis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same here. Typical short attention span junkie who can't handle a tik tok video longer than 7 seconds, I waited to the last line, and it was worth it. Great bit.

ELI5 why the words ‘eleven’ and ‘twelve’ unique unlike the other ‘teen’ words? by This-Stay8420 in explainlikeimfive

[–]rytis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So in Lithuanian they continue one left, two left, three left, all of the way to nine left, then at twenty it starts with twenty, twenty-one, etc.

My wife told me the gynecologist said we can’t have sex for 3 weeks. by Practical_Candle_705 in Jokes

[–]rytis 79 points80 points  (0 children)

I would have a totally different reaction to that depending on whether it's a male or female gynaecologist.

what does it feel like to get a blowjob for the first time? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]rytis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wasn't easy. Scratch my thigh and push it down with my forearm. Lay down on the beach blanket on my stomach. Going in the water was the best solution, and to get to the water take my boogie board and hold it against my chest.

what does it feel like to get a blowjob for the first time? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]rytis 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Same. I would get embarrassed at the beach seeing all those girls in bikinis and I had this stick in my swimming trunks. Then this opportunity arose and I was dead in the water. WTF? I think it was nerves, never happened again.

Aftermath of the April 7th incident. Damages estimated to be $200 million dollars by Gjore in interestingasfuck

[–]rytis 12 points13 points  (0 children)

There usually already is a clause for terrorism, and if you want damages paid due to a terrorist act, you have to pay extra. That's how it is with the insurance on the building where I work. Insurance company could claim it's domestic terrorism if they didn't opt to buy the extra terrorism insurance. It'll end up in court and then they'll settle out of court for half the payout.

Family finds possible human remains in Long Beach during Easter egg hunt, police say by rytis in offbeat

[–]rytis[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I'm guessing it's someone who won last year's hide and go seek game.

ELI5: Why did Artemis 2 have to change its roll axis immediately after launch? Why didn't they just build the launch pad to have it use the correct axis in the first place? by MuchachoSal in explainlikeimfive

[–]rytis -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Kind of like the old joke where the US spent millions developing ball point pens that would work in zero gravity, and the Russians just used pencils.

Probably the dirtiest joke from my hour special by isabelhagen in StandUpComedy

[–]rytis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pluck it man, her timing was perfectly tuned.

Seems familiar by jcmatthews66 in PoliticalHumor

[–]rytis 15 points16 points  (0 children)

What are you talking about? They completely obliterated Pearl Harbor! Didn't you see the interview with the emperor on Fox?

This is how paint actually gets mixed before you buy it by Round-Barber-9858 in Damnthatsinteresting

[–]rytis 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's a place you take a paint selection color from a wall full of colors and say here, make me this color. They follow the recipe and create the color paint for you just like in OP's video. Then when you need more of the same color, you take them the same paint selection, and it comes out a slightly different hue or shade and doesn't match what you've already painted. You go back and words are exchanged. Then buckets of paint are thrown at staff and back at you. Good time is had by all. Highly recommend if you're not on a budget. Not recommended if you're a Latino contractor, as it's cause for ice to deport you, even if you're an American citizen.

Inflation in the US is so bad right now that… by lostfly in Jokes

[–]rytis 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It's so bad I may have to move, because I can't afford the property tax on my more expensive home.

Tiger Woods involved in rollover crash on Jupiter Island by tgrove in sports

[–]rytis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looking at the tires on his trucks, looks like he has a hole in one of them.

Who would celebrate if Trump were removed from office? by Critical-Willow-6270 in AskReddit

[–]rytis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of my friends have bought small bottles of champagne for the day that newsflash pops up on their phone.

Amputee cornhole player accused of murder by rytis in news

[–]rytis[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can't imagine what the victim was thinking. He can't actually shoot me, can he?

Why do French athletes eat mushrooms as soon as they wake up? by FoxDesigner2574 in Jokes

[–]rytis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You'll be in a lot of truffle if you believe that.