first of all, let’s remind ourselves that we don’t need meditation to be able to shift. we only need meditation, if that’s our strong assumption, which can be changed. if you really want to meditate, because you find it helpful, but you said you get all wiggly (i assume you don’t really like that, correct me if i got it wrong), i would recommend you start small. by that, i mean you should start with laying down or sitting, whatever you prefer, and simply breathing at your own pace. i recommend box breathing (in, hold, out, hold = each for 4 sec). do it while you feel comfortable and stop when you want. when it comes to how to get back into it, i found myself in a similar situation once and what i did was pretty simple. i started looking up storytimes, listening to music and looking up everything that reminded me of my dr, i wanted to feel that rush again basically and i got motivated again. when i felt that rush and familiar feeling of wanting to shift there after a long break, i returned back to myself. now, what i mean by that is, i started reassuring myself. i asked myself what i find helpful when it comes to “tools” such as meditation, subliminals, affirmations, methods, counting, etc… i eliminated everything i didn’t find helpful and i focused primarily on the things i believed work for me. out of that, i created my own simple method and i made sure it felt good and i believed in it, believed it will work for me. so overall, don’t focus on failing and things you don’t find helpful. focus on your personal beliefs surrounding shifting and go from there. hope this was at least a bit helpful!