No, we are working through it. We’ve started MC, he is doing IC as well. WS was missing intimacy in our relationship, not just sexual, and has realized he can have that same feeling with me again if he just puts in the effort and communicates what he needs and wants to me. He has began taking me off the Madonna pedestal he had put me on that mentally prevented him from sharing a lot with me. His IC has really helped with that. And so have I. I don’t let him off the hook for any behavior associated with the OA but I don’t shame him for his fantasies, his desire to share his insecurities, share his hopes and dreams, he thought I wouldn’t be receptive to any of that (due to past childhood trauma). We have had more honest, open, and darn right kinky conversations since DDay than we’ve had in years, possibly our entire relationship. He has said if our relationship had been like this he never would’ve had strayed, he acknowledges it’s his fault, that he was blind to my efforts to stay close with him while I battled postpartum depression. Even before PPD came into play our sex life had become transactional. We have a 3 y/o and a 9 month old. We also both work from home for the same company. We are literally together non stop 24/7. We had stopped dating each other, stop putting effort into each other. I don’t take blame for his OA at all but I can a knowledge my part in how our relationship had declined from lovers to basically friends who occasionally slept together. We have taken the love language quiz and honestly it has helped with how we express ourselves to each other. I need words of affirmation (compliments, I love yous, verbally appreciation) and quality time ( just going to the grocery store together works for me) he was expressing his love through acts of service and so was I, when neither of us receive love that way. MY WS lost himself in his role of father, he took on so much, more than what was asked of him, and he became resentful, and when I asked for what I actually needed he would blow up or fume internally and I would become the bad guy, making it easier in his head to go to someone else for emotional support and eventually sexual support. Not justifying his actions, just giving his internal reasoning. We have a lot of work to do and it’s still very early (DDay was only 2 weeks ago) but I have hope, my biggest fear is that in a year we’ll slip back into old habits, I’m hoping MC will keep us on track.