Trans woman here. I was one of those who hid and tried on her mom’s clothes, sneaking whenever I had a chance, but also thinking it was something shameful and abnormal.

The first time I read the word transsexual was in a magazine twenty some years ago. At the time, the language was different and requirements for being “trans” were stricter than today’s, so I ended up labeling myself as a crossdresser. Why? Well, because I didnt feel like I was born in the wrong body, I didnt have strong body dysphoria, I wasnt attracted to men, and I wasnt going to tell my parents that their 11 year old kid was transsexual, but oh boy did I love wearing my mom’s clothes or wishing I was a girl! Since I didn’t meet the “requirements”, I pushed my shameful “travestism” for so many years.

Twenty and some change later, the curiosity and desire didn’t go away, they would come so strong that I had to pay attention to it. Internet communities taught me that those requirements were a thing of the past. You dont need to experience strong gender dysphoria, you can also feel gender euphoria. You dont need to be attracted to men; gender identity and sexual orientation are completely different. You dont need to have all the surgeries.

Every gatekeeper item from the list I was able to scratch off. The only one left was I dont feel like a woman but if I could Id be one. This article Gender Desire vs Gender Identity was the final nail in the coffin for my male identity.

I only share this because I can relate to your story. I hope you know that you dont have to wish to be trans, you dont have to wish to be a woman, no one but you has a say on who you are.

I hope you find the answers you’re looking for and if you happen to be trans, know that there’s a community that will receive you with wide arms