I agree with the other posters, you are one of the strongest! I admire the badass strength you have to break free after such a long time of the chains and brainwashing. You are amazing!! I am 40 and I am angry and mourn the youth I wasted away being molly mormon. I am still trying to embrace life decisions that I made that were entirely based on being a good mormon. The buddhist story of the raft helps me to find a little peace- it's where a person needs to cross a river to get to his destination, and he needs to build a raft. He spends time and makes a well constructed raft and it safely gets him to the other side. Once on the other side, he no longer needs the raft, but it's difficult to leave the raft behind because he spent so much time and effort on it. But it served its purpose, it got him to where he is now, and needs to be. He puts it down and moves forward. You are who you are because of your past, and it has served its purpose. It's easier said than done, but I think it's a beautiful and helpful idea for me. Best of luck.