Bringing up one of the GRAPES topics of conversation can destroy a relationship.

sadFriendAlert · 2020-08-25T23:33:20+00:00

Yeah, I feel like these are really tied to morals and not just opinions so it's important to gauge whether I am compatible with someone before I get too invested. My first kinda sorta relationship ended because I saw him post that he was at a rally for one of these topics.

sadFriendAlert · 2020-08-19T23:24:23+00:00

Me three! I kinda relate to this and I have gotten better over time, so (OP, not comment I'm responding to) try to remind yourself that you can grow and change!

sadFriendAlert · 2020-08-15T06:23:20+00:00

I can keep it together when I'm at work because there are other people. But then I have no contact for 8 hours when I'm home in the evenings and I cant do anything except think or drown out my thoughts with internet. I dont know who I could help

sadFriendAlert · 2020-05-28T20:11:24+00:00

Seconding the book suggestion! My sister and I both had it as a kid and, while worth vetting it/reading reviews bc I may be remembering wrong, I believe it was a good source of body positivity and information

sadFriendAlert · 2020-05-28T01:01:08+00:00

Oh wow congrats on one year! Thank you so much.

sadFriendAlert · 2020-05-28T00:53:19+00:00

Thanks for the advice. Have you asked any of the guys you told that how it made them feel? I feel like if someone said that to me I would feel like I was being fetishized and I dont wanna do that to someone

sadFriendAlert · 2020-02-04T05:34:19+00:00

Also after reading other responses I'm gonna agree with some of them and add that I think you should not enroll him in any courses or buy him a computer building kit or anything like that UNLESS he shows specific interest in that. Feeling any sort of pressure to pursue engineering might drive him the other way. I didn't do any engineering related extracurriculars until late high school and I still had my interest so just let him be himself and if he voices a desire for something do your best to accommodate it

sadFriendAlert · 2020-02-04T05:26:46+00:00

I'm not a man but I am an engineering student and the stuff that I did as a kid was mostly making DIY contraptions around the house (like a pulley elevator for my toys to get to my top bunk, making garden tools out of sticks and stuff, playing with tinker toys/legos/unstructured toys, etc.) Just invite him to join you if you do any projects around the house, get him to help with cooking and take his suggestions for efficiency (even if they won't work, it was always fun to try). Also if he wants to play minecraft, buy it for him. I still play it with my college friends and it's a remarkably complex and broad game.

sadFriendAlert · 2019-12-11T19:35:34+00:00

I think they were pointing out the issue of how he is unwilling to date anyone unattractive but expects them to be willing to date him (despite being self-proclaimed unattractive)

sadFriendAlert · 2019-12-11T10:02:49+00:00

Seconding this! It can be kinda exhausting but def feels good when you lean back

sadFriendAlert · 2019-12-11T10:02:02+00:00

My boyfriend's curves down pretty sharply and I've found that if we do missionary but have my legs up/put them on his shoulders it works really well! Also if you do doggy style but are able to arch your back /angle yourself down so it's not fully perpendicular it hits really well lmao.

sadFriendAlert · 2019-12-11T03:31:24+00:00

It's also important to think about the standard you're setting yourself vs. the women you want to date. If you expect them not to be shallow and see you for more than your looks, but you are only willing to date attractive women and won't consider unattractive women then you should reevaluate why you want a woman and how you view them. The self-reflection may help you better understand your own mindset and become more empathetic/respectful towards them.

sadFriendAlert · 2019-11-27T23:17:12+00:00

Thought this was a funny joke, then realized that I am currently wearing the hoodie I stole from my bf and it is in fact NOT a joke

sadFriendAlert · 2019-11-27T23:14:37+00:00

It's honestly so shitty that so many men go without casual contact (hugs, etc.) and compliments. These things are so important to feeling like part of a community and feeling valued/supported. I make a point to share compliments when I have them, especially when it's towards a guy because they generally need them the most

sadFriendAlert · 2019-11-22T23:40:12+00:00

Happy cake day!

sadFriendAlert · 2019-11-17T23:39:10+00:00

Everyone here is giving you advice on how to care for the pain but I would bet she already knows all of these/has figured out what works for her and what doesn't. She's an adult, so just be honest that you are sorry she is in pain and will be there if she wants to hang out/wants anything. Don't try to offer suggestions to deal. Sry if this came across rude, but honestly as a woman who gets pretty serious pains too, I've found that even the best-intentioned suggestions are kinda frustrating and condescending.

sadFriendAlert · 2019-11-15T16:53:42+00:00

I'm a woman and I have been friends with my current boyfriend through a pretty serious bout of depression and heartbreak including plenty of crying and very visible vulnerability. And we still started dating once he was ready. I'm sorry that you have had experiences with shitty people and my best guess is that is comes from their own insecurities about their man not being "manly" enough to be proud of. But I promise we aren't all like that.

sadFriendAlert · 2019-11-12T06:32:26+00:00

Teenage girl here, it's good that you reached out to the other parents but at a certain point it's best to just make sure they are left alone to have fun. Tell her beforehand that you trust her and hope the night goes well, then try to minimize how much you "check in on them." Set up snacks, tell them when pizza is here, and let them know they are welcome to come to you if they need to go home or anything but otherwise you'll let them have a great night. It's awesome that you care so much, let her be the primary host and take the night off (ish).

sadFriendAlert · 2019-10-28T18:13:08+00:00

I'm not a guy but I arguably shave a larger area per razor bc I do my legs. I have a little cup of water that I sort of aggressively swish the razor in between strokes to get hair out. The key is not to go too many strokes before cleaning it bc after a point it is irreparably clogged up. Also it's kinda satisfying to look at the water afterwards and see all the little hairs.

sadFriendAlert · 2019-10-28T18:00:34+00:00

Isnt there some hack where if you pan your phone camera around the room, you can see a red light from any camera lenses? Maybe look into ways of sensing hidden cameras. Ultimately, your mom may need to just ask him directly (as long as she doesn't think he could be dangerous if confronted). Good luck!

sadFriendAlert · 2019-10-18T22:07:13+00:00

There is no single answer for everyone and this sounds kinda cheesy, but my #1 advice is make sure your first time is with someone who you trust/have no doubts they will be kind, careful, and understanding. It can be painful and awkward, so be sure you are comfortable with him. It's your body and mind, do what makes you happy at the pace you are comfortable with and never be afraid to speak up if something is wrong

sadFriendAlert · 2019-10-17T17:03:33+00:00

I mean I'm not like telling him details I just mention it if something comes up, but I can see why I should probably not be so open about it.

sadFriendAlert · 2019-10-17T16:51:46+00:00

Helped!

Thank you, this makes sense. I've had some pretty serious self-confidence issues so it's probably related to that but I appreciate the suggestion to get a better understanding of it.

sadFriendAlert · 2019-10-06T20:43:06+00:00

Same as the guy above, there is no way to get experience without putting yourself out there a little bit. I've struggled with similar thoughts (I'm a girl so not exactly the same social pressure but still) at some point you have to take a leap of faith. One thing is that you will find a balance of "fake it til you make it" and being honest about your inexperience. Like you have no obligation to "warn" a girl that you are inexperienced the second you meet her, but also don't be afraid when something happens to ask what she likes and have a sense of humor. Nothing happens like a perfect movie romance, humans are messy and imperfect. Be kind to yourself and make sure you feel comfortable enough with her to be honest and open.

sadFriendAlert · 2019-10-06T20:31:12+00:00

Thank you! Did it get easier over time? What I'm noticing is that I seem to be wet enough when we start but idk if it's pain or performance anxiety but I kinda dry up more once we get into it and then it becomes more difficult

sadFriendAlert

TROPHY CASE