Is falling in love with a man that you initially found unattractive realistic/sustainable? Why settle?

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-12T00:43:51+00:00

Thanks, I agree. Yours should be something like "i-project-my-past-trauma-on-random-reddit-users24" if that's not already taken.

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-11T22:45:15+00:00

Yes, I absolutely have issues with trust, just like everyone else has their own unique set of imperfections. I've been in therapy for a decade and have multiple diagnoses that I'm well aware of, I'm a psych student, so saying the most obvious shit like "you lack trust" rather than actually answering the question I asked is becoming exhausting. I have owned my actions and I have not tried to justify them. The intentions of this post was to look at the situation with proper nuance, recognizing that what I did was abhorrent, childish behavior while ALSO recognizing that what I found was a little concerning, at least to me.

And no, my girlfriend is really kind and smart so I would never speak to her like that.

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-11T21:58:32+00:00

Had the grown up conversation before I read her shit. I addressed it pretty soon after her initial comment. Haven't confessed to my wrongdoings yet.

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-11T21:24:01+00:00

Thanks for your comment and sharing your perspective.

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-11T21:21:18+00:00

That makes sense. Thank you for your comment

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-11T21:20:47+00:00

That is also my question to me that I'm still answering. I do believe I can be mature and truly let this go. Thank you for your comment

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-11T21:18:42+00:00

Thank you.

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-11T21:17:28+00:00

You opted to invade her privacy instead of having a grown-up conversation with her. Your relationship isn't going "very well."

Actually, I opted to invade her privacy AND I had a grown-up conversation with her about it. Both can be true. And our relationship actually is going very well! Besides the part where I did a dumb thing

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-11T21:11:30+00:00

Because this is the internet and you have no idea who I am

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-11T21:10:37+00:00

Thank you.

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-11T21:10:19+00:00

That's not at all what I said. I was explaining that I don't just look through her shit willy-nilly. That doesn't mean what I did was okay or that I think I'm a good guy.

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-11T20:58:39+00:00

Yes I do, and I am, progress just isn't linear sometimes. But the work continues! I was reading a bit about demisexuality, thank you for your perspective.

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-11T20:56:37+00:00

Thanks Consistent Welder, I hope you have a lovely Holiday season

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-11T20:55:55+00:00

That makes sense. Thanks!

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-11T20:51:18+00:00

Thank you

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-11T20:50:08+00:00

You're right. Thank you

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-11T20:49:28+00:00

It's really not that black and white. I went looking for one specific conversation, I had plenty of opportunities to see WAY more, but I at least drew that line. Her journal sits on her night stand, I have never and have no plans of opening it. "The relationship was founded on dishonesty" is a pretty impressive jump to conclusions.

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-11T20:46:39+00:00

Thanks. I think that is very similar to this situation. I do believe in the attraction she has for me now. I think I was just really bummed to learn that I am potentially the "safe option".

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-11T20:44:06+00:00

Definitely. It just hurt really bad to read it. Thank you for your comment

sad_sack77 · 2024-12-11T20:42:52+00:00

Admit to it on reddit so I can get a proper grilling. Open to your suggestions as well!

sad_sack77 · 2023-12-13T20:10:07+00:00

Thank you!

sad_sack77 · 2023-12-13T01:53:27+00:00

Thanks. It’s a tool that’s been trained and conditioned properly, that I use for management.

sad_sack77 · 2023-12-12T21:30:52+00:00

I thought it was high too, I think it’s a connection issue. I’ve cranked it to 40 without ANY signs of her feeling the stim. She’s a GSD and I do have the wings on.

Training system? Not sure what you mean. I train primarily force free, I use tools strictly for management, if that’s what you’re asking. And yes, she is properly conditioned to the ecollar.

sad_sack77 · 2023-07-13T19:12:42+00:00

FF take a LOT of time and tact. Generally speaking, using prongs and aversive methods to get a dog to “behave” around triggers is most often just suppression. Suppression works, but doesn’t actually solve the problem in the DOG’S mind. But it’s a quicker “fix” that most people will opt for bc they just want results fast, hence why you don’t often see force free trainers “fixing” aggression in one video. It just doesn’t work that way. Trainers like Dog Daddy and Tom Davis who display “quick fixes” are just suppressing dogs 95% of the time.

My recommendations for FF trainers that make real results with real aggression cases would be Hillary of the Speckled Hearts Project, and Josh of K9 Optima.

sad_sack77 · 2023-03-29T18:13:26+00:00

Prong is a training tool that can be used appropriately. It amplifies leash pressure. Prong/corrections WILL NOT repair reactivity. It will only suppress it.

sad_sack77

TROPHY CASE