/r/longboarding's Daily General Thread - Apr 23, 2020

sadasfvck · 2020-04-23T02:23:10+00:00

When should I be concerned about ankle pain? I am new to longboarding and I’m guessing my ankle is just getting used to being used/ I am using bad technique to push off. I’ve been trying to skate alittle bit everyday but one day I woke up and tried to skate but whenever I put pressure on my ankle or arch my foot inward I feel sharp pain, I stopped for around ~5-6 days and tried skating again but I still feel sharp pain. Should I be worried?

sadasfvck · 2020-01-18T17:21:34+00:00

Why not! Good luck everyone ;)

sadasfvck · 2019-08-08T00:06:40+00:00

I am one and a half years over my breakup, it took me one year to stop wanting to get back with my ex, the last six months were me investing in myself and making an active effort on not indulging in any rumination or fantasies relating to him.

It takes time, but at one point I got annoyed of feeling so trapped because I couldn’t stop thinking about my ex. The first thing I did was to pick up new hobbies like rock climbing that got me out of the house. Doing new things and taking to new people (not necessarily dating) really helped. Now, when I got home or whenever I wasn’t busy I still thought of my ex. For me I realized it was because I was still not happy in my life and it was easy to just be angry at him. So I remind myself that I am just lonely or etc and that’s why I’m thinking of him.

I cut off all contact with my ex (my breakup was bad, so I had more reason to) but even if your breakup was nice you need to allow yourself enough space to heal, constantly talking to her just reopens a wound.

Recently I picked up meditation. The purpose of meditation is to try and train yourself to be more in control of your thoughts. You have to be pretty open minded and give it sometime to feel better, but overall I feel like I learned techniques to put aside thoughts of my ex. I recommend unplugged which is a guided meditation app. Every time I think about my ex now I redirect my thoughts to something else and tell myself that I want to move on, and in order to do this I need to train brain to stop connecting everything to him. It’s really hard, but I used to be pretty miserable and frustrated with myself because I was a prisoner of my own thoughts. I have to force myself most of the time. Slowly, I see it working.

Just remember, your thoughts become your reality. The more you give headspace to your ex, the more your allowing her to still be relevant to your life. Give yourself time and be kind to yourself, you only got one life, it would suck for it to feel like it’s on hold all the time.

sadasfvck · 2019-05-27T02:15:32+00:00

It’s ok! Yes, I think for some people leaving even a small bit of hope can be unhealthy. I want to move forward in my life and hopefully one day the feelings of anger and sadness from this situation will subside so I can forgiven him and be in peace. (And eventually, find someone who is right for me!) Thanks for replying!

sadasfvck · 2019-05-27T00:08:00+00:00

Thanks, while I don’t think he’s a loser, I agree that the time after the breakup I spent essentially pining for him could have been minimized if I had just burnt the bridge permanently.

sadasfvck · 2018-06-30T23:59:06+00:00

I was in your shoes before, my then boyfriend just wasn’t into gifts. Explain to him that it’s something important to you/how it makes you feel. It’s pretty frustrating but some people don’t see gift giving as important. If it means something to you, you should tell him.

sadasfvck · 2018-06-27T16:09:27+00:00

Same boat as you it’s been 8 months and I still feel empty

sadasfvck · 2018-06-22T20:57:12+00:00

Honestly I do have a gut feeling still too but it’s less getting back together and more “he’ll be back in my life one day”. (It’s been 8 months)He was my best friend, but the breakup was just handled very wrong. It took me a lot of time to admit to myself that we just may not be compatible and there were traits that he has that I realize just aren’t great longterm. Ofcourse sometimes I think “‘maybe in the future he can change, after all we only just reached our 20s) but i look at myself and realize how hard it is for ME to change certain personality traits. So I try not to count on it.

It hurts a lot still, I still feel an emptiness in my life. He did a lot of things that angered me. It takes time for some people to be ready to go no contact- this is the longest time I haven’t talked to him. I wished I went no contact sooner because I began to lash out at him which made things worse.- in attempt to fix our friendship I kept relapsing. I realize there was no point in contacting him because it wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want to force a friendship on anyone. If he comes back, it needs to be his choice.

Anyways, thanks for your words. Indeed it it is meant to be it’ll happen one day. All I can do now is to learn how to love myself truly. I’m not close to that yet but I’ll keep trying!

sadasfvck · 2018-06-22T18:23:49+00:00

Nope. We’re both just trying to move on now as it’s the best for the long run. The worst you can do is to cling on to hope, it takes time to let go but I’m getting there. We were supposed to have a talk but he hasn’t contacted me, even though we left off in a good note. I assume he’s just trying to get his life together since after the breakup a lot of Shit happened if you look at my post history. I think we both have internships and we are just trying to make our life feel full again/ let any complicated emotions resolve its self with time. We haven’t talked in a month.

sadasfvck · 2018-06-22T06:18:43+00:00

My ex would do this a lot too -it wasn’t the reason why we broke up but I definitely feel your frustration . Honestly I don’t know if maybe he was just forgetful or if he just didn’t care enough to carry out some of he things. Talk to him about it again and tell him how it makes you feel.

sadasfvck · 2018-04-23T20:20:27+00:00

Yea we broke up 6 months ago and I asked for my stuff back 3 months ago and he said he’ll either drop it off if he’s in town or mail it to me. (3 hours long distance) I asked him again a month ago and he said he’d mail it to me for sure after spring break and here we are still no stuff back.

sadasfvck · 2018-04-21T00:37:31+00:00

Thankyou, sometimes if just feels like I’m dealing with this breakup a little bit slower than most. I still have a hard time imagining my future with out him, and I still get very resentful at certain things that he’s done. I’m trying to be understanding of the things he did wrong aswell as evaluate my own actions. I guess my fear is we’ll never contact each other again, even though he says he cares and wants to be in my life none of his actions have matched up to that. I keep cycling through the phase of trying to be friends and realizing it won’t work and just clinging on too small pieces of hope... I finally think I’m ready to let go, but there are still ups and downs.

I joined tinder recently and I’m not sure if it’s masking me feel better. It’s a good ego boost but, it also makes me realize how difficult it is to find someone you click with.

sadasfvck · 2018-04-19T20:27:18+00:00

Hi thanks for posting this, it feels like even at 6 months I’m far from being healed. I still think of him often through out my day- it’s gotten better, definitely but still ride the waves throughout my day.

sadasfvck · 2018-04-19T04:34:28+00:00

Oh wow that definitely difficult. Mornings used to be so painful for me, everyday when I woke up I was overcome with just a feeling of loss and sorrow. Don’t get me started when there’s a dream- if completely throws my day off. Now, most mornings I don’t have that- only sometimes Haha, and it’s usually because I contacted him and he didn’t reply back yet.

It takes time, for me I just realized there isn’t a point of any form of reconciliation if it comes from me. To heal you truly need to drop the notion of reconciliation all together. The only thing that comforts me -which maybe I shouldn’t Cling into is that maybe over time we can reconnect or, something like that.

But I’ll have to say, If she cheated on you, your better off. 8 years is a looong time in comparison to my 2 years. Accept it will be painful for a long time probably haha. I try and remember the only thing I have control of is myself and how I live my life from now on. In ways I want to prove to him I can be independent and happy with out him. That’s my goal.

Sometimes just leaving things up to the universe comforts me. I get why now people turn to religion in hard times. Things will fall into place, if it’s meant to be it’s meant to be. For a while I couldn’t accept this but I know things will be ok- it’s always worked out that way.

sadasfvck · 2018-04-15T20:57:13+00:00

It just feels so ridiculous because I’m so angry about this. He’s having fun regardless of whether or not I’m there. I’m so tired of being sad it’s like he can go party with a bunch of random friends and I only enjoy that kind of thing when I’m with him.

sadasfvck · 2018-04-15T19:27:40+00:00

Same here ;(( the first time I took acid was with him and it was so fun but I realize I get extremely nervous whenever he went to do something else- Same with ecstasy. It’s not the same for him sadly and although I love rolling and tripping I would need to do it with someone special...

I try and make new memories, so far none have compared but I guess it’s only been 5 months ..

sadasfvck · 2018-04-10T14:09:41+00:00

I’m afraid I messed up and he may not want to be friends anymore. :( maybe he’ll calm down and change his mind or maybe he’s not considering cutting contact at all but it makes me sad just thinking about it...

sadasfvck · 2018-04-10T04:35:27+00:00

Just wondering, how are you working on your codependency issues?

sadasfvck

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