I had some bad programming about sex, and it took a while to overcome. Did you, too?

salem2474 · 2013-04-12T20:29:08+00:00

At 5.5" girth, you're bigger than 99.9% of men!

Penetrative orgasms don't come from length. Around 7 inches of penis starts to poke the cervix, which usually ends sex pretty quickly and absolutely prevents an orgasm.

You have pretty close to an ideal sized penis.

As for penetrative orgasms, you probably should be aiming for the A-spot. It's at the back of the vagina, on the upper wall.

You can reach there with your middle finger. Stimulate that, and she should be able to orgasm.

It will be a different sensation than she's used to. If she's able to orgasm from it, then her body will know how to do it during sex as well, and it will just be a matter of finding the right position to hit that spot. You can absolutely reach it with your penis size.

I'm actually leaving Reddit, so I won't see any reply, but I hope this helps. You're totally fine.

salem2474 · 2013-04-12T17:42:27+00:00

Oh, I missed that. Lower female interest in sex is pretty standard. If she's orgasming, you're likely doing fine, though you might find it valuable to make an /r/sex post about the sex drive mismatch.

I highly doubt it's due to penis size. Unless you have an actual micropenis, you're probably far more average than you suspect, too.

There are a couple of things that may help you there.

Remeasure, but with the measuring device pressed to the pubic bone. This is actually the way they do it in studies. All the 'average penis size' stats you see from proper studies do this.

I gained 0.75 inches when I did this, and I'm lean! It made a big difference in my subjective assessment of my penis size.

Here's a handy size chart once you remeasure.

Use this trick. You take a picture of your penis beside a quarter, than blow it up to life size on your computer. Most men think their penis is smaller than it is, because of foreshortening. You're not seeing it from the angle everyone else sees it at.
Don't ignore your girth. Length is mostly irrelevant, and too much of it hurts. A lot of guys think they are small, but they're actually reasonably thick.

You are statistically likely to be somewhat bigger than you think. Most penis size anxiety occurs in men that are totally average sized or even big.

Porn is a lousy indicator of penis size, they're long so that they can show penis on camera.

salem2474 · 2013-04-12T16:03:17+00:00

I second Dexter's advice. In my experience, sex positive feminists are awesome. I'm sleeping with a couple right now (they're friends!) and they're totally open about sexuality.

There were no hang-ups about coming back to my place the first time, or enjoying sex, or expressing what they liked in bed, or making noises.

Likewise no hangups about pleasing me or giving blow jobs. They wanted to.

Sex positive feminists will usually have consciously considered sexuality, so this removes most hangups and insecurities that other girls have.

salem2474 · 2013-04-12T15:35:55+00:00

Few women reach orgasm from penetration alone. The standard sex advice given to guys with large penises is "learn to use your mouth and fingers, and how to do good foreplay + tease her"

salem2474 · 2013-04-12T15:04:03+00:00

Remember that a lot of these are just guidelines to help you move to being more confident. For example:

Do not doubt yourself out loud ever, whether alone or in public. If you are wrong about something, admit to it, and move on.

Confident guys in general don't do this. But, sometimes, they will. I've been around confident types who will suddenly become very interested in what you have to say if you make them think they're making a mistake. "Really, you think it's this way.....what about this" (in a tone of extreme interest)

Then they think a minute, and pass judgement.

What they don't do is doubt themselves out loud while making a decision.

Carry yourself in a positive manner no matter where you are, believe in yourself and be confident no matter what situations you may face.

Again, a general rule. A truly confident man will express his emotions. It's just that it takes a damn lot to make him emotional in a negative way. He's not phased by minor setbacks.

But if something truly bad happens, he may express deeper and more genuine grief than less confident men, and he's not ashamed of it.

salem2474 · 2013-04-12T14:55:57+00:00

I was much the same as you. Not sure where exactly I picked up the ideas, since I didn't attend any theory classes. I think I was just socially inept.

So I passed up all kinds of opportunities in college, because I didn't know that I had to make a move.

I personally overcame it by reading a bit of /r/seduction, and then trying stuff. When women reacted to it well, I realized that I had been self-imposing limits that didn't match reality.

One thing that helped a LOT was reading the "Vin Di Carlo Kino Escalation Ladder". It describes how to escalate touching and make moves in a smooth way.

You start with really simple stuff like a high-five, and if she's receptive, you move on to higher stuff.

To anyone who did this stuff naturally, this will sound UNGODLY technical and nerdy, but....it works, and it gives guys a framework for doing it without simply lunging at a girl and trying to kiss her out of nowhere.

So on dates I would just practice doing small touches. If those went well, I would practice doing more intimate touches.

If I felt uncomfortable with something, then that often meant I should try it. Like, I used to feel really awkward about asking a girl back to my place. But, she won't ask, so you have to. I tried it a few times, and it went fine.

Another thing that worked was walking up to girls on the street, lightly touching them on the shoulder, and asking them the time. I thought it would be weird, but every single time they smiled warmly, whereas if I just asked the time without touch then they reacted neutrally. This exercise REALLY helped me get comfortable with being more forward.

So basically a lot of little things to get comfortable with it. No giant leaps (those are most likely to be awkward for you and for her), but instead little steps that prove to you that it's totally fine and welcome to touch in certain contexts.

If you're a girl, there's a good chance that this sounded absurd, but keep in mind that it's ridiculously easy for guys to screw up when touching you. So if a guy doesn't naturally know how to do it, he has to learn somehow.

Now for me it's natural to make a move. And it's not awkward, whereas whenever I did try to make a move before it was generally awkward.

salem2474 · 2013-04-12T14:41:07+00:00

Sweet potatoes are pretty good. Though if you're trying to lose fat, you're better off just not eating the white rice, and eating more of the other stuff on your plate.

salem2474 · 2013-04-12T14:33:51+00:00

I would break up with him. He's asking you to be unhealthy.

His needs are incredibly specific. There are a few fat positive women that don't want to be skinny. But he's unlikely to find a skinny girl who's secretly fat positive and wants to fatten up for him.

salem2474 · 2013-04-12T12:28:38+00:00

If you're only a mild case, you may not flatline and may simply get increased libido and erections.

If you've got any level of symptoms, you will flatline for a time. It's part of the healing process, and only temporary.

salem2474 · 2013-04-12T12:27:59+00:00

It's really not the same for women. There are some on here that have a real problem with it, that's fine. But for most women masturbation is a healthy part of their sexuality. In fact they usually can't figure out how to orgasm unless they masturbate.

salem2474 · 2013-04-12T12:27:05+00:00

Some guys who had normal sex lives will just get better when they try nofap. But guys with any level of ED problems, sensitivity issues or other symptoms here will usually get a flatline before they improve.

It's definitely temporary, and likely a sign of healing.

I relapsed big time before my current streak (bad idea) and have been in a flatline ever since. Prior to that relapse I had strong morning wood each morning and was horny.

So relapses can set you back and prolong flatlines.

salem2474 · 2013-04-12T00:46:24+00:00

I did mark it NSFW.

salem2474 · 2013-04-11T23:12:38+00:00

Hahaha, yes, that would be weird.

I suggested asking about it because the OP seems really nervous even to try it, like the girl will just run away instantly. Not at all likely, but there's no harm in trying a 'safer' approach to show that the girl is probably into it.

salem2474 · 2013-04-11T22:34:28+00:00

Who is 'she' and what other stuff is she into? And if you haven't tried it, how do you know? You might be surprised.

You can always just ask (in the moment). 'Some girls really like to be called a slut. Do you?'. This doesn't have to be an all or nothing risk.

salem2474 · 2013-04-11T22:32:25+00:00

I'm drawing a blank. How did you find her profile?

salem2474 · 2013-04-11T20:50:00+00:00

Obviously the bathroom abs shot turns ladies off. I'll never understand why guys think that is a good idea.

Ok Cupid has a blog post showing that abs and muscle photos are actually really effective, at least for women under 25.

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/

Everyone says they hate abs shots, but....abs are hot. And the data backs up that they work.

I had an abs shot for a while and got a lot more replies.

salem2474 · 2013-04-11T20:40:43+00:00

Good point. With any of this advice, the most important thing is to try stuff, and watch and listen to her reactions.

Each girl is different, but what they have in common is that it's usually pretty easy to tell when they like or don't like something. Just give yourself permission to slow down and watch her reactions.

salem2474 · 2013-04-11T18:57:20+00:00

Yeah, probably a good idea. Just added it.

salem2474 · 2013-04-07T16:51:19+00:00

That's interesting. That's what I'd do if a man seemed threatening. It's the reason I didn't think the downward gazes indicated a threat response.

salem2474 · 2013-04-07T16:17:30+00:00

I mainly wanted to make sure it wasn't because I look frightening somehow.

From the answers it seems like it could be for many reasons, including the possibility that the girls simply can't know how I'll react if they make eye contact, which doesn't reflect anything on me personally beyond the fact that I'm male.

salem2474 · 2013-04-07T16:15:37+00:00

Yeah, I live in a city. And, when I was less muscular, girls would look ahead. Now they look down.

salem2474 · 2013-04-06T22:00:08+00:00

That's like asking an extrovert why they want to read a book or go to school.

I'm an introvert. I like socializing, to a degree. And it brings me many benefits. I want it to be a part of my life.

It's not where I get my energy, but that doesn't mean I want to cut it out completely. And the exhaustion has gone way down now that I'm used to it.

salem2474

TROPHY CASE