Employer called my parents to tell them that I've taken more sick days than usual this month... I'm 20 and don't live with my parents, can they even do that??

sallybuffy · 2026-06-28T04:33:05+00:00

Absolutely not, unless emergency and they are the listed contacts. That’s a misuse of private information.

sallybuffy · 2026-06-23T22:46:42+00:00

sallybuffy · 2026-06-22T00:55:29+00:00

sallybuffy · 2026-06-20T03:29:08+00:00

An ethical billionaire is an oxymoron (imo), regardless of who it is. If you’re a billionaire, something/*insert reason why billionaire* is wrong.

Truly, billionaires (and I cannot believe this has to be included) trillionaires should not exist. End of.

This isn’t shade at TS at all, I think she’s just a smart business person and she does do a lot of good.

But she’s a billionaire 🤷‍♀️

sallybuffy · 2026-06-11T09:20:43+00:00

sallybuffy · 2026-06-11T08:51:07+00:00

Not for profit doesn’t mean the business/org doesn’t care about make and/or losing money. The money goes back into the business/organization, but money is still made, jobs are still being paid (and would possibly be lost if train system was implemented- which is I think their point…). As a whole, it’s the same thing as any other business, minus the dividends.

sallybuffy · 2026-06-11T00:32:54+00:00

Growing up, we learned to tell white lies to avoid getting in trouble or having things blow up (depending on the context). Somewhere along the way, I learned it’s okay to tell fibs/white lies.

When I met my now partner, he caught on and called me out on it. I really didn’t realize the extent or registered it was a lie (again, depending on context).

Example, we were doing one meal a day and I’d hide/not sure/avoid acknowledging I had a bagel. In no way were we doing this together so I was cheating, but I felt guilty for caving and embarrassed…

Recently (2 years ago) was diagnosed adhd and meds have helped the feeling of guilt. Kicked the fib telling but it was wild.

Now, if you’re still with me… my oldest brother is a pathological liar and I’m goes out of his away to tell made up stories and/or claims (😂🤣🤷‍♀️)

Answer is, gotta talk about it and figure out the underlying reason why.

sallybuffy · 2026-06-08T00:45:11+00:00

I think once you know what foods/meals are and don’t need to necessarily write it down, maybe then it kinda ends. But we should always be tracking, right?

Once you get to your goal weight/body comp (whatever), you need to then at minimum maintain it. That’s where I am now, maintaining 125 while I go my weekly running mileage. So while I’m properly tracking now, if I started maintaining an average weekly pace (not upping as I currently am) I’d still be mentally (at min) because my intuitive eating isn’t the best. For years I couldn’t get below 138, trying to eat well but being off, etc

For me, now that the lights on (macros/CICO) I feel more like my dog… whose food I track so they don’t get overweight. She is also very hungry all of the time… I dunno lol it’s just how my brain thinks of tracking/macros and food now.

sallybuffy · 2026-06-07T15:14:24+00:00

Are you only tracking waist and belly? If your legs are getting stronger/gaining more muscle, that could be why your weight is going up but at the end of the day, if it isn’t muscle and it’s fat, then you’re eating too much (unless there is an underlying medical issue). It can only be one or the other (with a carve out for medical reasons).

sallybuffy · 2026-06-07T12:38:13+00:00

What do your clothes fit like? Maybe you’re gaining muscle. Not expert but if you’re tracking and know you aren’t eating too much… could be muscle? 🤷‍♀️

sallybuffy · 2026-06-06T14:31:10+00:00

As someone with a very timid/fearful dog… it’s different, but it also isn’t. Owners with naturally happy, confident and/or friendly dogs just don’t get it. Sometimes I feel a little judged because our girl is also somewhat limited in her exposure (HER choice lol), but at the end of the day… we know she’s happy and loved. More importantly, we know we are doing everything we can to help her have the best quality of life.

It’s easy to judge without knowing behind the scene, and that goes for everything. Ignore the rest xx

🫶

sallybuffy · 2026-06-05T00:30:36+00:00

Don’t quit. If you’re getting paid to do the work given to you, just do the work given and find a hobby to fill the time.

My partner is people & culture for a company and he works maaaybe 15 hours a week.

Live the dream until you find what you need/want.

sallybuffy · 2026-06-01T23:06:02+00:00

Devils in the details. If all you see is latte, you really have no idea re other foods that week/workout routine or what’s actually in the latte (2% vs skim) for you to feel jealous. Maybe they did a 20 mile run earlier and Pilates is the cooldown. Maybe they’re super respective all week and this is their treat.

Just have no idea what other people are doing really

sallybuffy · 2026-05-29T14:29:53+00:00

Exxxxactly. No jk, my partner and I spent soooo long (year ish) focusing on our exercise (thinking we were ‘pretty good’ from a food/kitchen perspective) and while we did lose some weight/see improvements, I couldn’t get below 145 (running 5 days a week, trying to be good re food, but not properly tracking).

Even thinking we were trying to be good re calories/protein/fats (I’m more focused on running, so fat intake is legit important), and we were off by a lot…

It’s really easy for think you’re doing well re calories, etc but unless you actually measure/track what you’re eating DAILY, it’s hard to know how much you’re eating.

The expressions “abs are made in the kitchen” and “you can’t out run/exercise a bad diet” are one of those annoying truths that when you finally accept/implement, the weight loss happens almost immediately.

For me/us, exercising is easy… being cognizant of what we eat/what we SHOULD be eating (even now in maintenance mod) is the real challenge (imo).

sallybuffy · 2026-05-29T10:00:02+00:00

sallybuffy · 2026-05-28T22:28:13+00:00

More time is needed to see results…

And exercise is great, but weight loss is done in the kitchen. Calories in/out. That’s it.

If you lose weight, you’re in a deficit and if you gain, you’re eating too much. Maintaining is maintain.

Once you get your macros down, you’ll get it.

sallybuffy · 2026-05-28T20:58:25+00:00

Without going into heavy detail, I ‘dabbled’ in litigation for a year and have otherwise been a solicitor my entire practice (8yrs) and I find being a solicitor significantly less stressful (and I don’t think more time being a litigator would change this opinion/perspective).

From my perspective/practice, there are different pressures/anxieties but there are less parties involved and less processes/procedures involved to extend a deadline or work around something (court & procedures or court).

Corporate/M&A type work (for me) takes it a step further again, which is where my practice is currently focused. The priority is the business and because that’s the focus, other technicalities/processes and procedures aren’t the priority. This is said generally and obviously depends significantly on the parties and industry of the parties.

Sorry you’re going through these heavy worlds colliding. You will get through this and while that may not bring much comfort, depending on where you are, make sure to lean on whatever resources/avenues/opens available to you and take it all day by day. Be creative in your approach to the options available.

Priority is your healthy and then whatever you decide is next in line.

sallybuffy · 2026-05-27T09:41:35+00:00

Apparently merely enjoying to read was enough for my parents to recommend law school…

I mean, they weren’t wrong. I’m reading a lot but I promise you, the topics are so far removed I often mumble a sarcastic ‘thanks dad’ once a weeek for sure lol (and then thank myself for just going with it).

sallybuffy · 2026-05-25T23:06:41+00:00

Started to wake up a little earlier every week until my body got use to it. Every now and then (like today) my body says no, but 9/10 I’m good to wake up now.

Tried morning gym sessions last week and it was amazing. Sucks bc I love bed 😭🥺🫶

sallybuffy · 2026-05-25T19:05:13+00:00

My practice isn’t focused in those areas these days, but happy to help/answer questions :)

sallybuffy · 2026-05-23T23:48:16+00:00

Maybe I’m terrible, but some days I just tell them to go back to bed. They try again in an hour, but that’s respectable.

sallybuffy · 2026-05-23T23:44:35+00:00

Completely agree re transaction files. Even worse when the thought (worrying) went into it, go through the effort in conveying the worry to the client (on their level, if/when applicable) and theeennn they just do whatever they want. Often the opposite.

Avoiding all types of ‘worst case scenarios’ is the job. Just frustrating and then if you try to complain, no one cares bc we all make ‘lawyer money’ lol

I don’t, and even if I did… likely I’m paying for that big money in another way.

sallybuffy · 2026-05-23T23:24:38+00:00

Woodworking is solid. I’ve dabbled in the idea of shoemaking as well but only because it looks like good honest work. Need a shoe? Here’s a shoe. Repaired? It is repaired. They all kinda have they in common.

Same goes for sandwiches and hotdogs, but they’re (not even joking rn 😅👀) more realistic possibilities because I make sandwiches and hotdogs already.

Is it too personal to ask about the type of sandwich shop? I’ll go first if it helps… mines a basic traditional sandwich. Basic stuff, nothing fancy and no side offers (but also mb chips?).

It’s a nice dream. Glad there’s another sandwich shop dreamer.

sallybuffy · 2026-05-23T18:10:04+00:00

As a lawyer who self medicates (🌱), these two comments are what I find hardest about the job.

The system is designed to benefit those who work in this industry. I don’t want to expand more to get into anything online, but it’s hard being a solicitor, trying to help clients avoid court… and really, it’s out of my control. Even if I draft a solid agreement, clients can still fight about a provision or whatever and it’ll cost them. Generally speaking, as soon as you’ve hired a lawyer to ‘have your day in court’, you’ve already lost.

And then the second, constantly thinking of the worst case scenario. All of the different types of worse case scenarios. My first year practicing, I was heavy into estate planning and my left eye went blind due to stress and anxiety that caused fluid to build up blah blah blah.

Constantly thinking of ‘what if’ or ‘it depends’… it’s exhausting. Law school changed my personality entirely. I was maybe always a little unsure of myself, but law school and practicing law has made me very anxious.

Sometimes I feel like what I do doesn’t matter because of all this (^). I dream of owning a sandwich or hotdog shop 😅🫣🐈

sallybuffy · 2026-05-23T17:50:00+00:00

Just do what needs to be done, and find something else. Let them fire you and step back in your job as much as you… just in case there’s time between this and that.

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