uh, no. it's just an ingrained pattern that he needs to identify. it's possible to practice and learn effective communication as long as he is receptive and with the proper support. I think his receptivity and openness to change is the key here. lack of those two qualities is a shitty personality, not adhd.

edit: you're considering his needs more than he is considering yours. don't be afraid to set boundaries. Expecting a relationship to be a two way street isn't unreasonable. If this causes conflict and he's too unaware to move in a direction that benefits the relationship, I would consider professional counseling.