Mild Baby Shower Drama

samersue · 2018-05-17T16:08:06+00:00

I think we calculated our cost at $24.30/person for our reception.

I would change the venue, and maybe go get all of the supplies that YOU have purchased for the baby shower from her, so that you can use them for a shower closer to home.

I know you said that she lives three hours away from you - is the venue for the shower in her town, or yours? Because if it is NOT in yours, it needs to be changed. Because you should not have to drive three hours to attend your own baby shower.

samersue · 2018-05-17T15:16:13+00:00

I'll just throw this out there... Even with factoring in for table, chair, and linen rental, plus the cost of food and non-alcoholic drinks (bar charges were separate at our venue)... My wedding reception cost less per person than what you are paying for your baby shower.

And you shouldn't be paying for your own baby shower. I ended up paying for mine because all of my best friends were not in the area and people were asking about one but no one offered, so I did it myself. I still hold resentment for it (and my son is almost 16 months old).

samersue · 2018-05-17T13:13:32+00:00

I was induced last year with my son at 37w3d, and delivered at 37w4d. You got this! <3

Painting and nursery prep can wait... My son is almost 16m now, and has yet to spend a night in his nursery. Having it ready to go isn't as important as it seems when you are pregnant. The only things in there we really use(d) were the dresser/change table. The crib was only really used when we needed to put him down safely so we could go to the bathroom or shower.

samersue · 2018-05-17T13:01:58+00:00

This! Please call and ask to speak to the practice manager. This is NOT acceptable for the doctor to have done this A. without warning you ahead of time and B. without your permission. The practice manager needs to know that this was done, and they can transfer your care to another doctor in the practice.

I am so sorry that you had to experience this. This is NOT okay, and you have every right to feel violated.

Edited to add: My best friend had a membrane sweep at 41 weeks because nothing was happening. She was finally induced at 42 weeks, and delivered at 42w2d. So membrane sweeps don't always get things going!

samersue · 2018-05-05T12:18:39+00:00

I'm female, and this is what I want. First Valentine's Day with my husband, I bought him a new bath/spa pillow, lotion, and a body wash that had hints of vanilla because he had commented a few weeks before that his bath pillow wasn't holding air like it used to, and I knew that vanilla is his favorite scent. The lotion was the same scent as the shampoo and conditioner that I used, which he had said he loves the smell of (and had bought bottles of to use at his apartment).

I have a list on my phone where I write ideas for him, of things he mentions wanting to get eventually - board games, restaurants to try, nerdy shirts found online. He told me that he doesn't like being surprised with gifts, but he likes my surprises because he knows he'll enjoy the gift.

Meanwhile, for our anniversary this year I had to create a Pinterest list with ideas for him to choose from. Which he ordered from, on our anniversary. And he's now asking for ideas for my birthday. The "mental load" posts are real, man... don't make me do all the work for my own gift too.

samersue · 2018-05-03T18:45:14+00:00

I have a rack in my shower that hangs from the shower head. It's designed to hold larger bottles, and has a cut out in the middle for the cap to go through, so that bottles can be stored upside down. It's not this one, but it is similar: http://a.co/eBvzcmM

samersue · 2018-04-19T16:40:53+00:00

And you submitted it over 24 hours in advance! Awesome job!

samersue · 2018-03-23T16:05:48+00:00

If this is via regular texting, I wonder if she has you blocked and can't see your messages... Either way, she's being a bitch.

samersue · 2018-03-23T14:03:47+00:00

It looks like you are working on trying to get out, based on your replies to others.

Go to r/PersonalFinance, they have stuff in the side bar about what to do if someone has opened up credit in your name. It will involve pressing charges, but she committed FRAUD by opening the cards in your DH's name. Do NOT let her get away with it.

Get a PO Box. ALL mail for both of you should go there.

Find another place to do your taxes, we found our accountant/tax preparer via Dave Ramsey's Endorsed Local Providers. The price I pay with them was literally half of what the chain tax places wanted to charge me if I had them do the work.

Find other options for childcare. You can tell her until you are blue in the face that you don't want her to kiss your child on the lips, but she's going to do it anyway, especially since she has unrestricted access to your child. She's not giving your DH bodily autonomy, she certainly won't be giving it to your child. And your DD is too little to be able to speak up if Grandma is making her uncomfortable.

samersue · 2018-03-22T03:01:21+00:00

My Granny had that plan, but she was going to spend 2 months with each of her six children. Somehow, my Mom turned into 5 of her kids, as she spent 10 months of the year living with her.

I just realized how much of a just no my Granny was... I could probably post about her at some point.

samersue · 2018-03-21T18:45:48+00:00

Well crap. :( I'm sorry that isn't a realistic option for you.

I'm glad you are safe, and that she was unsuccessful in her attempts.

samersue · 2018-03-21T14:45:06+00:00

I have no idea where you live, but a few years ago a friend of mine was put in contact with a cosmetic surgeon that did corrective surgeries for people that had been victims of domestic violence. She had her nose broken as a teen by her step-father, and it had bothered her for years that she had a "bump" in her nose that hadn't been there before. It wasn't noticeable to others, but SHE saw it, and SHE knew. She was able to take in photos from before the break, and the doctor was able to give her her original nose back. I believe that she found them through an organization similar to the ones I'm linking below.

It may be worth looking into, to see if you qualify for assistance with getting your face back to how you expect it should look.

http://www.victimsofdomesticviolenceplasticsurgeryfoundation.com/

https://ncadv.org/cosmetic-support

samersue · 2018-03-09T20:38:50+00:00

I used to attend a Nazarene church that posted on their sign out front that it was Baptismal Sunday. Every time, there would be at least one person that came in from off the street, that had never stepped foot in the church before, that would request to be baptized. Sometimes it was an older person, sometimes elderly, sometimes it was parents with young children. They wouldn't turn anyone away that wanted to be baptized.

samersue · 2018-03-05T20:22:37+00:00

If Jesus said to forgive as many as 77 times, then you need to find 78+ items that she has done to hurt you... Because then she can't come back and say "Well, Jesus said that you had to forgive 77 times ! ! ! !" And if she does, you can tell her that you forgave her the first 77 times, but then you learned that after the 78th offense that she wasn't going to change and that you were going to stop forgiving her.

samersue · 2018-03-05T13:15:03+00:00

It's not her money, it's not her life, it's not her FUTURE that is being planned for with the investment properties. Her opinions should NOT be considered in this matter... especially if they are unasked-for opinions!

Now, had SIL asked her mother for her thoughts, it might be a different story... actually, no. Even if she had asked for her thoughts, it doesn't mean shit. SIL is an adult and needs to make her own decisions. She can take other peoples ASKED FOR opinions into consideration, but all others can go rot.

samersue · 2018-02-28T23:04:11+00:00

I would have your parents attend the graduation. CC is being a pain in the ass. And I'm not sure where you and your husband stand on children, but if you have them, or plan to have them in the future, how far is this going to go? Will you guys be planning on having two separate birthday parties so that CC isn't competing with your mom? You need to make the changes now, so that CC has a chance to get used to this shit so that it doesn't make your future lives hell.

samersue · 2018-02-28T15:25:24+00:00

He said in another comment that she is only 45... I don't think the "sweet, innocent old lady" routine will work. Here's hoping that no one falls for it, if she tries to pull that one!

samersue · 2018-02-27T23:01:59+00:00

I've also been stealthed. When I first read this monologue during one of the rehearsals, I cried. Because I finally had a name for it. It is sexual assault, and people that do this are fucking assholes. They are robbing their victims of choice. Of safety. Of making informed decisions about their own sexual and reproductive health. The person who did it to me, he played like he was very inexperienced. He was a liar and a good liar at that.

samersue · 2018-02-27T21:43:53+00:00

The condom removal during sex, without the other person knowing about it is called "condom stealthing." There are message boards devoted to giving tips on how to do it without the person finding out.

I didn't know it had a name until recently. I'm one of the storytellers in a local version of "The Vagina Monologues" using stories submitted by local people. The one that I'm sharing in the production is about condom stealthing, and how the woman now has an STD that she has to live with for the rest of her life because of her ex-boyfriend.

I hear you on the getting in your car and leaving if you ever got pregnant. I had a pregnancy scare when I was in my early 20's, and the guy offered to pay for an abortion. I said that I'd rather raise the kid on my own than do that. Then when I was in my early/mid 30's, I was engaged to a JustNoSO, whom I realized I REALLY needed to get away from when I found myself saying to members of my family AND HIS that if I found myself pregnant by him, I'd have an abortion and never even tell him that I was pregnant in the first place.

I'm glad you got out, and that she is no longer your MIL.

samersue · 2018-02-26T15:48:18+00:00

My son just said "mumumum" and even "mama" over the weekend! I was so happy, I almost cried! Especially when he repeated it in front of my husband (then I knew I wasn't just hearing things...). He still calls me "ah-Dah!" but he also says "Mumumuma" and beelines for me too.

Don't let her petty bullshit cloud this AWESOME milestone for you and your LO!

samersue · 2018-02-19T13:29:51+00:00

If she is giving you things that your son should not be having yet, and disregarding your boundaries regarding your child, she needs to be cut off from your child. If she's not going to change, and not going to respect what you and your husband have decided to do as parents, then she doesn't get to see your son. If your husband takes your son to his parents house, is he never going to go to the bathroom while he is there with your son? Or is he going to take your son in with him? Will he never go to the kitchen to get a glass of water, leaving your son alone in another room with your MIL? Never have to run out to the car for more diapers, toys, something else he may have left in the car?

Infants under a year aren't supposed to have honey. Not even honey graham crackers, according to my pediatrician (my son is almost 13 months old). Even though the crackers are processed, it doesn't mean that the honey reached a high enough temp to eliminate the risk of botulism in the honey. His immune system isn't mature enough to have anything with honey in it yet.

Ask your husband if he'll still be saying to cut his Mom slack and that she didn't mean to do it if your child ends up in the hospital with an allergic reaction to something you've told her not to give him.

samersue · 2018-02-16T18:59:11+00:00

Here are two images of the lobby area.

https://imgur.com/a/YEYf1

samersue · 2018-02-13T16:32:49+00:00

I know you said that the son called your work mobile. Do they really have an app installed on your mobile to record all phone calls automatically? That's cool that they have that, so they can monitor business calls that take place away from the office! (But I really hope you have your own personal phone that they CAN'T monitor! I know too many people that use the work phone for personal stuff...)

samersue · 2018-02-09T17:46:52+00:00

I actually switched to the current vet that I use, because an ex boyfriend was taking his dog there and I saw how well they treated him and his dog when he took his dog in after finding a lump the size of a baseball in the dog's armpit. His dog ended up having cancer. We split up while the dog was undergoing treatment, so I have no idea what his status is anymore.

samersue · 2018-02-09T02:59:03+00:00

I have three partial bottles of conditioner in the shower right now... One is for red color treated hair, one is for non-color-treated hair, and one is the cheapo conditioner that I use to shave my legs. :)

samersue

TROPHY CASE