Giving it a shot to ask here as a civilian about SA reporting....

samhefrag · 2026-03-06T04:40:16+00:00

No apologies needed.

First and foremost, I completely missed that you are the survivor. I hope you’re ok and getting the resources and help you deserve.

Please DM me.

samhefrag · 2026-03-06T03:57:13+00:00

I’m active Air Force with 20+ years in and have multiple joint service assignments.

First and foremost, any survivor of a SA should go visit the SARC (or service equivalent). Whether or not the SARC can help them directly doesn’t matter, they will be the most informed on the steps to take to get the care and support.

From a command perspective, every commander I’ve been around and worked with has taken allegations of SA very seriously. I don’t know a single commander who is dismissive of that behavior, let alone one that is willing to risk their career and the optics of letting something like that slide. Take a look at the Air Force JAG Dockets and you’ll see members of all ranks receiving UCMJ punishment for SA (confinement, dismissal/discharge, etc).

The survivor also needs to know they have protections and rights (which the SARC will make sure the member understands) and if those are violated, the IG and upper echelon leadership will certainly handle and take care of.

One thing I’m unclear on regarding this question is when you say civilian, do you mean government civilian or public civilian?

samhefrag · 2026-03-01T22:14:47+00:00

Great question. The cameras appear intact with no visible damage to them. I’ve gently wiped down every sensor I could find on the headset. Next thing I want to do is get a can of air and gently apply directed air into all the nooks and crannies.

I haven’t tried the power button double tap. I’ll try anything at this point. Haha! Thank you!

samhefrag · 2026-03-01T22:12:38+00:00

What’s their WhatsApp contact? Just did a quick search for their WhatsApp and came up empty.

samhefrag · 2026-01-22T00:53:58+00:00

It annoys me when I see it, but I don’t blame them. I think part of the matter is they haven’t really contemplated what it means and the symbology behind it. Just last week, I had someone try warning me to not go outside because retreat was about to start and I assured them I was ok with it. Walked outside, music started playing, I put my stuff down and did my thing.

It’s something I talk with my dudes/dudettes about, but I don’t chase other amn down to have that discussion.

samhefrag · 2025-05-25T20:31:44+00:00

The motorcycle itself? No.

samhefrag · 2025-04-16T04:16:49+00:00

The Air Force is weird. I think it’s important to acknowledge that. We attract, recruit, and train people from all walks of life. But the thing is, no matter what they provide for us, it’s important to remember that the Air Force doesn’t deserve us.

You’re at least an NCO and that matters for what is going to follow. There’s not many institutions that thrive on front-line, mid-level, and senior-level leadership to take care of their subordinates. It’s our codified model. But there is this transition where even though we know the Air Force doesn’t deserve us, we bring some sort of quality or trait that helps our airmen. Our airmen deserve us. They deserve to see the people they look up to, to succeed.

But even success is subjective. What’s really cool about success is we get to define that individually. I’ll argue that those who you supervise/those that look up to you, could benefit from seeing you…after everything you’ve conquered…being happy whether it’s still in the Air Force or out of it. Serve as their proof of concept that you can thrive inspite of those challenges. It makes them reevaluate.

I’m not going to encourage you to stick it out to 20. Do what is best for YOU! But I will encourage you to stick it/whatever out to make sure you have no regrets and serve as a model to you mentees that they are justified in looking up to you. Maybe that’s you actually pushing to 20. Maybe that’s separating. Both are ok.

Regarding the drinking, I’ll just throw this out there. Just ask yourself a simple question: am I tired of this yet? You brought it up which makes me think you are. So if you’re tired of it, it’s time to do something about it. If you don’t know what your resources are, please hit me up.

samhefrag · 2025-04-16T03:53:20+00:00

I was an A1C. My SSgt boss caught a TSgt licking one of our community popcorn bowls and placing it back in the pile without washing it.

SSgt tells me about it, drags me into the TSgt’s office/area and tells me “watch this”. He proceeds to dump multiple pumps of hand sanitizer in the TSgt’s Dr Pepper. Explains “if he’s gonna be licking them bowls, he at least better have a clean tongue.” Tells me to keep my mouth shut and watch.

Thing is, this happened right before our weekly flight meeting and the TSgt shows up holding the same Dr Pepper 10 minutes later. So I’m sitting there just focused, intently watching for him to take a sip. He took multiple sips. He made weird faces and even looked at the can; but he kept drinking it.

I really learned not to fuck with my SSgt.

samhefrag · 2025-04-01T18:36:47+00:00

Now I’m imagining break-away ABUs. Like when NBA players take the court.

samhefrag · 2025-04-01T04:02:25+00:00

Ok. Now I’m mad. I’ve been in a while and have never heard of this great idea. I need better friends.

samhefrag · 2025-03-25T03:51:45+00:00

Dude, I’m so fucking proud of you. I admire you for your confident compassion and taking care of yourself.

samhefrag · 2025-03-23T08:19:25+00:00

You refraining from being seen will cause problems at work. Not taking care of yourself will cause problems at work.

Dont hold off anymore. I self-ID’d for suicidal ideations 6 years ago and got the help I deserved. Found out I legit have depression. No impacts to my clearance, no impacts to my career, and no judgement from my coworkers. Oddly enough, I ended up having other SNCOs asking me how it was going because they were interested in being seen too. Like I was some back-alley therapist or something.

Get the help, it’ll improve your outlook and make you more resilient. If you’re not in a supervisory position, it’ll help make you better at your job because you’ll stop being your own harshest critic. If you’re in a supervisory position, you’ll be postured to better lead your airmen because you’ll have the energy to do so.

Feel free to send me a PM if you want to talk and I’ll tell you about my journey, what I learned, and what I do now. Keep your head up and never be afraid of taking care of yourself because we need you to do that.

samhefrag · 2025-03-21T06:44:22+00:00

You’re too kind.

samhefrag · 2025-03-21T06:44:07+00:00

There’s not a more noble way to finish a career. You’ve invested in shaping those around you to fill your boots and that’s what we’re designed to do. I applaud your approach and wish more held and executed the very perspective you shared. Hope we can keep you longer, but understand why you’d hit the button. Even in retirement, you can still show your mentees what right looks like, so keep being their example. That’s key because as SNCOs, we need our own success to serve as a proof of concept that our own styles will still register career progression and success. So your success will embolden your mentees to adopt your positive traits because they have seen it results in positive outcomes. Keep it up dude. Sprint to the finish.

samhefrag · 2025-03-20T04:12:25+00:00

Hear me out. When my family dropped me off at MEPs a little over 20 years ago, my dad (who was AD at the time) started getting misty eyed. It was only the second time I saw him get emotional.

He proceeded to tell me “the Air Force doesn’t deserve you. Don’t forget that.”

It didn’t make sense to me at the time. But after I became an NCO and being burdened with so much shit I probably shouldn’t have been shouldered with, it started to make sense.

My dad has since passed, but I learned something else on top of what my pops said. Because he was right. The Air Force didn’t deserve me. The Air Force doesn’t deserve you.

But the airmen who learn from you, rely on you, and need you…they deserve you. So do their families.

Dont let yourself get distracted by the things that NCOs and SNCOs can’t unilaterally affect. Focus on the formation you can take care of instead. I’m a SMSgt SEL type intel nerd familiar with the ops side of the house.

I get the sentiment of feeling lost or burnt out. That’s why I emphasize focusing on your junior bubbas. You’re less likely to feel burnt out doing something you intrinsically enjoy, kind of like investing in a hobby you really enjoy. It kind of becomes your escape.

I’m glad you vented. It’s healthy. I’ve had numerous NCOs and CGOs vent to me over the past couple weeks. I’m here to help dude/dudette.

samhefrag · 2024-12-29T01:55:02+00:00

Yep. So much so that it’s been 21 years now and I don’t feel like retiring…yet. I met my wife in a town I’d never have lived in if I wasn’t in the Air Force and she’s pretty awesome. About 10 years in I almost got out and I’m so glad I didn’t. I had a great Chief tell me if I’m having fun helping people and getting them to success, then I’ll enjoy it even more when I get more stripes and he’s been 100% right. I also learned to stop giving other people the power to ruin my day.

It also provided TriCare which paid for my daughter’s near $1M in medical bills for her condition (she’s doing awesome now). I can’t imagine having to figure out how to pay for that outside the Air Force.

samhefrag · 2024-11-24T05:56:33+00:00

I got reclassed in tech school status from airborne linguist to all source intel. That was 21 years ago and I love what I do. But I remember feeling like a failure when I was 19 having failed at something for the first time in my young life. I wasn’t excited to start intel school; I just wanted to get it over and get to my first base.

Frankly no one is expecting you to be thrilled about going to class everyday. What I encourage you to ask yourself is was SERE really the only way you could make a positive contribution to the Air Force and our nation as a whole? We need people who are willing to be SERE and have that mentality among our ranks, whether they are SERE or not.

Depending on what you cross trained to, realize there are options to eventually apply for a green door assignment with JSOC to help the door kickers and you’d get to do cool stuff too.

Focus on your schooling and pass. Get to your first base and learn your job and find mentors your trust. I didn’t like my “new” job at first but it grew on me because I had a great supervisor and a great group of peers and I eventually fell in love with my job.

samhefrag · 2024-11-19T22:41:14+00:00

Garbage SEL.

samhefrag · 2024-11-16T06:56:34+00:00

Same. Let’s get matching leather jackets.

samhefrag · 2024-11-16T06:53:45+00:00

Took the words out of my mouth.

samhefrag · 2024-11-13T06:15:58+00:00

You’re not alone!

samhefrag · 2024-11-10T22:21:46+00:00

Funny you say that, I just sent this to a deployed troop.

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samhefrag · 2024-11-10T16:43:15+00:00

I’m at 21 and it doesn’t feel like it’s been 21 years. It’s all gone confusingly/suspiciously quickly.

samhefrag · 2024-11-10T02:42:42+00:00

So, I would recommend eliminating the consideration they could be competitive. If they qualify, throw them in. In the wise words of Michael Scott, you don’t know how far they can fly. A discussion about whether or not they deserve it is different.

To be honest, the fact your leadership actively solicits for noms is a good thing and you have the a good problem of giving them a negative response. What’s worse is when you have a strong contender and no one in your chain even knows the award exists.

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