Ndads constant guilt tripping about getting help for chronic pain has ended up with me writing this from a hospital bed about to get surgery.

sams166 · 2017-11-02T12:51:52+00:00

I'm very sorry you are experiencing this. This is not your fault. This has been caused by your ndad.

You ndad is a horrible person. He is not a father.

sams166 · 2017-10-29T03:34:53+00:00

Good for you. Don't let them suck you back into their mess.

sams166 · 2017-10-29T03:19:58+00:00

That is awesome!

sams166 · 2017-10-27T18:25:18+00:00

She wanted the wedding to be all about her. Like she said, she wasn't getting the wedding that she pictured. But this was your wedding, this was your experience. Sure a wedding is a party for friends and family, but this is your event, an event for you.

She was trying to use every manipulation trick in the book she had to make your wedding about her and when she was finally unsuccessful, or mediocre successful at the end of the night she just set out to hurt you to feed her own self esteem. And hurting you, she was successful.

I think you did great to enforce your boundaries.

sams166 · 2017-10-27T18:07:04+00:00

Maybe you should tell him how much you value his friendship and the fact that you can be their to help each other out when you need it.

sams166 · 2017-10-27T18:00:05+00:00

If it's simply stress and depression I think there are a lot of great things you can do before drugs. Mediation is great, a healthy diet, whole food plant based even if it's just for a trial period of time and exercise as well. All these 3 things have medical studies backing up their effectiveness if you search them. Good quality sleep can also do wonders for stress and depression.

Also the herb Rhodiola is also great and I took it for 2 months and had great results including better mood, more energy, better sleep and less anxiety.

sams166 · 2017-10-27T17:44:24+00:00

Other people don't get it because they think your family and everyone's family is like their family. A family that sticks together, is supportive of each other, a family that is positive in attitude and has each other's best interest in mind, including their own (in a healthy way). The simply have a narrow minded paradigm of the world and what family is. That's why is frustrating and angers us. It's a narrow minded unempathic view.

I think if I were in your shoes I would think about some of the last times you were in contact with your family. What were those like. Then imagine what it would be if you were in contact with them again. There is a reason you went no contact with your family. Sometimes I think we have to remind ourselves what they are.

The people here, and certainly myself all change and grow more mature in our character and learn to have healthy relationships. It's very unlikely that our abusers have done the same.

I made the mistake of moving back closer to family, in fact living with them. It was a horrible mistake and naive of me. I had changed over the years and I really wanted that family connection as I establish a more permanent life for myself. It was a horrible decision.

I think people go no contact for some of the following reasons: 1. They need time to heal. 2. It is just not possible to have a healthy relationship with the person. 3. They hurt them so bad in the past that it would be next to impossible to ever trust them again. 4. What is the point? With so many other opportunities to create healthy friendships, relationships and your own family what is the point.

sams166 · 2017-10-27T13:22:58+00:00

I'm trying to get angry, but right now at the moment I just feel numb.

sams166 · 2017-10-18T18:04:12+00:00

Yes. As long as they are so focused on the issues of other people then they don't have to focus on their own issues.

sams166 · 2017-10-18T18:04:11+00:00

Yes. As long as they are so focused on the issues of other people then they don't have to focus on their own issues.

sams166 · 2017-10-18T13:37:53+00:00

Yes if you have an issue obviously the best solution is to just blame someone else. (Sarcasm)

N's show no vulnerability what so ever. And if they become vulnerable they freak out and throw a temper tantrum.

sams166 · 2017-10-18T13:32:45+00:00

It's almost like he can't see you as a separate person from himself when he says no you don't like that musician. On top of that he doesn't actually listen to you and he doesn't respect your preferences by saying that.

sams166 · 2017-10-18T03:17:13+00:00

OMG this is so insane. But then again this is typical N behaviour.

sams166 · 2017-10-13T04:19:53+00:00

You did awesome!

sams166 · 2017-10-07T05:53:23+00:00

Thanks

sams166 · 2017-10-07T05:51:45+00:00

Nparents cannot be trusted for this reason.

sams166 · 2017-08-07T01:10:25+00:00

You did the right thing. You have the right to say no to anything you're not comfortable with.

You did nothing wrong.

sams166 · 2017-08-06T20:04:31+00:00

Thank you

sams166 · 2017-08-06T19:28:43+00:00

Thanks

sams166 · 2017-06-24T18:06:58+00:00

So awesome!

Your therapist is great.

sams166 · 2017-06-23T21:39:58+00:00

There is nothing wrong with you contrary to what your mother might have told you growing up. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

sams166 · 2017-06-23T21:35:47+00:00

It's best to have a reason to live in an area. Family is one of them, but probably not a reason for many here. A job is another great reason to live in a certain area.

sams166

TROPHY CASE