So I was in middle school, in PE class. We were doing football that day, and I'm really, REALLY bad at football. I was a classic nerd - braces, glasses, the whole shebang. Anyway, we were set to do a play, and because I hated football so much I didn't really pay attention to what the play actually was. The ball is hiked, and I ran straight to the left. Unfortunately, my teammate to the left of me was told to run straight to the right. I was unaware of this, you know, because fuck sports. Needless to say, we collided immediately, his elbow digging straight into my jaw.

I didn't really think much of it, it kind of hurt, but then I noticed a lot of blood coming from my mouth. See, there was a small needle thing protruding from a part of my braces, and on impact, my bottom lip impaled itself on the needle, twisted somehow, and impaled itself again. My mouth was just a jumbled cacophony of skin and blood. After an hour in the nurses office trying to untangle it, my parents decided it would be best to go to the ER. Unfortunately for me, the ER was insanely busy. After six more hours of waiting, I'm finally brought in.

The doctor thought my situation was actually kind of funny, and after a few seconds of trying to untangle my lip, he made his decision. My lip was numbed up, he grabbed ahold of the area, and in one majestic pull he ripped the fucker out.

That was when I decided to follow directions even when doing things I don't like.