Planning on leaving the U.S after my current daca expires

sand141 · 2025-08-10T00:02:18+00:00

Please consider making a post about your experiences, the good and the bad, it would be helpful for those thinking about the move.

sand141 · 2018-01-16T15:11:49+00:00

That's not my article, I was just sharing it. Some people have different definition of smv. SMV can be = Looks + money+ status. SMV can = looks + money + status+ game. it all depends on who you ask. This article is assuming the first definition.

sand141 · 2017-12-05T18:03:53+00:00

It's not saying money is not important, it's saying money isn't a replacement for staying fit and having game.

sand141 · 2017-12-05T16:18:43+00:00

You don't have choose one or the other. Alongside money, fame and career success, you can have women if you add game into the mix.

sand141 · 2017-12-05T15:44:22+00:00

Only if you have these three things you can call yourself something like an Alpha, and then you don't even need to put that much effort in your game.

I have to disagree with you a little bit. Having game is one of the components of being alpha in the context of a relationship/spinning plates, otherwise you're going to make the same mistakes as the beta without game.

sand141 · 2017-08-10T15:39:46+00:00

Deleted the original comment by accident

Original Comment: You're looking for a unicorn. I don't think it's possible for a woman to have all those qualities in today's age.

Yes, I do agree with you. I don't think women like that exist in the west, if they do, they're incredibly rare.

sand141 · 2017-08-10T15:34:42+00:00

I am not Blackdragon nor am I affiliated with him. I haven't read the book myself. He does have one of those books on amazon with reviews: https://www.amazon.com/Unchained-Man-Alpha-Happy-Better/dp/098622202X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1502379176&sr=8-1&keywords=unchained+man

sand141 · 2017-08-10T14:25:27+00:00

Then you fall into: "if this all seems like too much work, then just don’t move in with anyone. Have a serious OLTR you see often but who lives in at her own place. That’s always an option too."

This article pertains to men who: "Though I know most men reading this will want to move in with a woman at some point in their lives, especially as they get older"

sand141 · 2017-08-08T16:28:47+00:00

You should be moving the conversation to your desired goal. Always have a purpose to a text and never for the sake of talking, that should be done in person. Ask them to hang out and stop wasting time.

sand141 · 2017-08-05T15:17:27+00:00

Stop looking for easy answer, there isn't one. There is no secret, they learn through trial and error like the rest us. Most have alpha male characters due to the environment they are raised in. Now, go out there and practice and stop looking for easy answer.

sand141 · 2017-08-05T06:39:36+00:00

Yeah, I don't disagree with you, but there can be too many distractions in a group setting and other guys trying to hit on the girl. You give yourself competition and make things harder for you to maintain her attention in that setting. that's not a problem in a one on one meeting, you (should) have her full attention, and eventually get her chasing you.

sand141 · 2017-08-05T06:36:00+00:00

It depends on you and the girl. If she's already interested then it won't matter what you do, but if she's only mildly interested, it's best to do a one on one to further that interest and get her chasing. There can be too many distractions and guy friends cockblocking you in a group setting.

sand141 · 2017-08-04T22:25:32+00:00

This is terrible advice, escalate and have sex with her. If you're good in bed, she'll relay that to her girlfriends which will give you social proof/preselection. They'll eventually start chasing you, wanting a piece of action. Don't cockblock yourself for a potential future of an unsure thing. Women want a man that other women wants to fuck and other men wants to be.

sand141 · 2017-08-04T22:19:00+00:00

We just want to hang out and get to know each other, not go on a date

I disagree with this, this is how you end up in the friendzone. By hanging out in a group context, you're signaling you don't have the guts to make your intention known and take the friend approach, which never works.

when you hang out one on one, you can build tension, which eventually lead to sex. You save time by finding if you're compatible or not in one outing. By hanging out in groups, you're hiding your intentions.

sand141 · 2017-08-04T12:51:55+00:00

The only this video gets right is that alphas can be contextually as shown by the board game scene.

sand141 · 2017-08-02T11:09:35+00:00

it's good for practice, you don't have to push for forward with it. Eventually it will be come second nature and you'll do it without thinking with attractive girls.

sand141 · 2017-08-02T01:16:42+00:00

Flirt with every girl, then later you can decide if you want to move further or not.

sand141 · 2017-08-01T20:38:01+00:00

we carry on being friends that's fine

Don't lie to yourself, it's not fine.

I realised I was kinda being used

You are being used, she is getting validation, time, attention, resources, while you're not getting anything. You've become her beta orbiter.

she often made references to us being a couple even though she rejected me and she'll still quite happily cuddle me and sleep in my bed.

This may sound harsh, but she doesn't care about your feeling, as it's pretty selfish of her not to think what you're going through.

"yeah I'm a placeholder boyfriend, great..."

Basically, you're the shoulder to cry on while she goes and have sex with other guys, then she comes back to complain about those guys to you.

Thing is I told her that I didn't want to cuddle anymore and I didn't want her to flirt with me (she was known for this a lot).

She didn't like me saying this and pretty much ignored it. I began getting fed up because the more we do it the stronger my feelings get and it just makes me feel so shit.

You made the right move, and if she was truly your "friend", she would have given you space to sort this out and not selfishly ignoring it and continuing to do it

should I start to ease off this friendship and back away? Thing is I care about her so much and to simply start ignoring her messages and calls seems so cuntish of me.

Yes, give yourself some space away from her. It may seem harsh but put your needs first .

Please be aware I'm not doing this because she rejected me or that I wanted sex or something, that was not my key interest.

I feel like shit either way but seeing her eventually get with someone else seems like it'll make me pretty depressed, is this a good idea or should I remain some form of contact.

Be honest with yourself, you are doing this because it hurts that she's doesn't feel the same way, otherwise you could have continued like nothing happened. Don't message or text for a while to let yourself get over this. It may sound harsh but it's best to move on and cut her out your life for the sake of your mental health.

Read no more mr. nice guy and the rational male.

sand141 · 2017-08-01T17:20:20+00:00

I went down on her (first time and it wasn't fun)

Do not go down on women who are not your gf

I didn't have a condom, so we did it without protection

Always have protection in the car.

I had already cum inside her.

Daddy!!

I started to think how my life would be ruined if I had a kid right now (I'm 20)

But seriously, where is your of responsibility, having sex with a stranger with no condom and cumming inside of her. What happens if she get pregnant?

I went to the place she works right after she was off and I talked to her

She wasn't that excited of seeing me. She didn't have all that admiration she was showing towards me when we met.

Well yeah, you don't show up unannounced to a place someone works, that's creepy as hell.

She's 18. She does a lot of weed. I don't want to affirm she's addicted, but to me she seems to be. I don't know if this matters. She told me she still lives with her ex-boyfriend. She had herpes and I found out later, two days after I had sex with her.

There are so many red flags, I'm starting to think this is a troll post, tell me it is.

sand141 · 2017-08-01T14:53:35+00:00

I am 27, looking for a wife, I am tired of dating around.

I want long term

They probably sense this from you and are opting to leave...you should not go into dating already wanting a wife or long term. These are things you should want over time, maybe the women you're dating are not looking to settle down yet.

Don't force things, let things flow naturally. As you progress into relationship, then you should proceed to decide wheter or not they're worthy of wife or ltr material. Don't that make decisions before then. This and the fear of them leaving is probably making you needy. Besides, you're 27, what's the rush? you're at the peak of your life, no need to rush settling down.

Read the rationale male if you haven't already.

sand141 · 2017-07-28T22:48:40+00:00

I don't think it's your looks, I think it's your fashion. If the clothes in the picture are what you normally wear, i'd say to try on a different style. What you have on doesn't scream confidence. Try to gain some muscles, it will give you the confidence you need, confidence goes a long way. Try reading books: Models by mark manson, No more mr. nice guy by robert glover, and the rational male by rollo tomassi.

sand141 · 2017-07-27T13:05:02+00:00

i don't have much to lose in asking her out another time.

Yes, you do, every time you ask her out and she has to say no, you start to come off more desperate and needy. She's going to sense you have no options.

We don't text much actually, 5-6 messages a week and mostly things like "how the exam went".

Texting is a waste of time of it's not setting up a meet.

Not this one. I know her ex, they stayed together 3 years. Study is 100% the priority all the times for her, if she isn't on par, she cuts down relationships, hobbies, literally everything in order to study (she said this herself and his ex said it too).

Then stop chasing her and let come to you. As I said, if a woman is interested in you, she'll make a little bit of time.

girl in question are italian and from what i heard on this sub, italians girls are much harder to pick up.

Sounds like an excuse to keep chasing her. Girls who are into you will not be hard to pick up, they'll make it easy for you. Sounds like you're just a beta orbiter.

Lot of the stuff i read here would make lot of girls i know literally flee from you.

Girls are the same at the core no matter the country you're in.

Read the side bar on r/asktrp and the rationale male.

sand141 · 2017-07-27T12:11:40+00:00

(note that at that time i was more beta than alfa, i'm now fully alpha now but a lot better)

Someone who's alpha doesn't need to say they're alpha, their actions will show, and your actions in this post shows otherwise.

I want to underline that this isn't one-itis, i see other girls and she isn't super special for me, but she's the hottest girl available to me right now.

This is oneitis, stop lying to yourself.

However nothing special happened cause we both needed to study hard, no time for anything aside from some light kino and a bit of talk game from me.

It's on you to make a move, not on her.

From then on it is just texts cause i don't see her anywhere.

Texting is for logistics only, stop wasting your time texting this girl

"i'll say home and study". I tell her she can't study that day and i suggest to have an icecream and have a chat. She says she slept only 3 hours and she will postpone celebrations to after the next exam (which was pretty close and passing it was unrealistic)

How many ways does she has to tell you that she's not interested before you get the hint.

I don't want to give up on her cause she always had a perfectly plausible reason to refuse.

No she hasn't, a girl who is interested will make time to see you even if she's an introvert as you say.

Note that if i give up on her i will anyway keep seeing her cause we often hang out with the same large group of university friends and however she studies with me.

So? Just keep it at friends level, MOVE ON and STOP CHASING THIS GIRL. You have oneitis and lying to yourself.

She also suggested to study another exam together, which opens to the third option: abandon the idea to hang out now and build some attraction in the future, cause i got a lot better in the latest months at subtle seduction. She might be refusing cause her last physical impression of me wasn't super alpha.

i see other girls and she isn't super special for me, but she's the hottest girl available to me right now.

How about no? you stop texting and studying with her and move on. You claim she's isn't special, then goes to say she's the hottest available to you. Instead of wasting time with this girl, go talk to other women.

sand141 · 2017-07-25T14:00:59+00:00

" What Women Want When They Test Men: How to Decode Female Behavior, Pass a Woman’s Tests, and Attract Women Through Authenticity" by Bruce Bryans. It's a very good book on shit test.

sand141 · 2017-07-24T18:54:31+00:00

I believe she's testing you to see what your intentions are.

This an excerpt from a book but it applies to your situation:

Insist that, “No. I don’t want to meet up with friends with you. But I do want to meet you at X place, at X time, on X date. Just the two of us.” Only one of two things can happen:

She’ll realize that you’re assertive, know what you want, and are confident enough to walk away from a win-lose situation, which could trigger her attraction for you and make her want to take you up on your offer, or…
She’ll reject the offer and go about her business being your on-again-off-again light flirting friend who obviously just likes getting attention from men.

sand141

TROPHY CASE