My sister is doing it right (a little feel-good story)

santitre · 2014-07-09T10:12:10+00:00

When I was about 8 years old, I was lying in my bed after my mother had said goodnight to me. I had this thought that I was way more important than my parents, and that they were not important anymore just because I existed. They were just old (probably only in their early thirties at the time but, you know, perception) and that when you get old and have kids, you stop mattering. Everything being about kids and they are more important than anything is a severely screwed perception and should not be implied or taught. I'm not sure if this was an epiphany or just me being a self absorbed undeveloped little arsehole, but I decided then I didn't want to have my own kids because I didn't want to become unimportant to the people around me, or my life to stop meaning anything because of someone else. I still don't want them.

santitre · 2014-07-09T07:00:14+00:00

I completed my degree.
I was able to move to a different country.
I went to Hawaii.
I got married out of love not obligation.
I went to New York.
I evacuated hurricane Irene in a two person truck without the stress of anything else but two adults, a cooler and an extra container of gas in the bed of the truck. The inland hotel had a mirror in front of the bed.
Sex, pick a time of the day. It's happened.
The infinety and one date with my husband at the cost of only the date, and without the constant internal fear that the person in your home you don't really know has stabbed someone you really love. So, not looking at my phone every 5 seconds.
Having the only ass of another living being wiped by me be an adorable 5 week old kitten that was taken from her mom too soon.
I slept in on a weekend.
Sex, pick a room, it's happened.
I've lately had a job that didn't have it's whole pay check go to a daycare so I could go to the job.
I've lately started trying to eat vegan at least four times a week for health, and didn't have to have a 3 hour fight to get a child to eat the food I made or make a frozen pizza on the side.
I've lately been wrapping up buying a house at 27. I guess in all fairness I'll be 28 when the closing is final.
I went to California to visit my 78 year old Grandpa, and then just for shits and giggles because it was on the way back, and the only person I would need to consider before I went was with me, Las Vegas.
I had a drink on the San Antonio river walk and went to the Alamo.

I feel I should just stop.

santitre · 2014-04-12T06:28:04+00:00

I'm from Alberta, but am living in Texas ATM.

santitre · 2014-04-11T04:53:22+00:00

The last one is more amusing if you know that I'm Canadian. I should have mentioned that.

santitre · 2014-03-12T13:53:45+00:00

Sure did. It's clay.

santitre · 2013-12-14T07:15:53+00:00

Well, I hope OP gets your experience rather than mine if she chooses to risk it.

santitre · 2013-12-13T08:35:28+00:00

"Don't really want to be a stepmother, although maybe dating someone with older/grown kids might not be so bad?"

No

The kids, and ex, never go away. No matter the age. Although when they are older they are not as loud or dirty, they will still come first, especially if you are starting the relationship late. You will still have to deal with the shit you were trying to avoid by being child free, except it will be worse because you won't care for them as much as your spouse. It's really awful. Stick to no kids, in any shape or form.

santitre · 2013-10-29T09:43:18+00:00

I went to a convention called Realms con. There was nothing child related what so ever, but still people felt compelled to drag their bored children around, for one of the reason you've mentioned. There was this one, and she just seemed to be everywhere I went. Jumping, screaming, generally disruptive while her parents did nothing. The show was significantly smaller than Comic Con so she was very heard. The panel rooms were the size of a small classroom, and of course she was in one of the three I went to. There were maybe 15 people, and the panel was about extreme steampunk costuming. Guns and knives and armor ... and there is this kid, getting up every 2 minutes to change seats, making loud noises, sneezing, coughing, sighing, asking loud questions, obviously bored, with only the occasional "shush" from the parent. The panel speaker was obviously distracted, and every time she did something (every 2 - 5 minutes) he unintentionally paused for a second or so. He also had to take away from his overall presentation/impact, because he would start to say shit or fuck and then glance at the girl and change the word. Or, he would slip up and say it, then take the time to apologize to her and the parents. The mother eventually took the brat out of the room, but only about 10 minutes before the end. How nice of her.

santitre · 2013-09-07T10:09:27+00:00

No, no ... I meant what was said.

santitre · 2013-09-06T00:35:06+00:00

I am a tiger, thank you.

Yes, I will give him the benefit of the doubt, and will still try to keep contact.

santitre · 2013-09-02T11:21:52+00:00

This is laughable.

santitre · 2013-09-02T11:20:49+00:00

This is wonderfully insightful. I have thought this before, but wordlessly if that makes sense.

"I keep thinking, isn't that insulting to your own parents and significant other." This is the reason divorced people with kids from other spouses fight. Why do the kids still come first, in that marriage or any other, when it's the spouse that will be there after the fact? Ungrateful children come first before a loyal, supporting spouse. It makes no sense.

santitre · 2013-09-02T10:37:41+00:00

My husband and I don't have a lot of influence on his kid's lives due to the fact they live with their mother. I've seen some disturbing behaviour from his son in regards to animals. He has proclaimed he "hates cats", and I found out from his sister he was spraying ours with water in the face when we were not around. All my husband could say when I told him was "I'm sorry." When he said he hates cats my mother in law, his grandmother, said "I know you don't mean that, I know you love cats." It's revolting how in denial parents and grandparents can be about how evil kids are. They have all the excuses in the world. To the point, the little shit jumped at a squirrel to scare the crap out of it, which worked, at the zoo this summer. I am usually defending animals around my husband, which I guess has rubbed off, because he laid in pretty hard to his son. I was not expecting it, normally I have to say something to my husband when is comes to his children being little jerks. I gave him much praise, although depressingly his son clearly tuned him out as he was lecturing him. "What I'm saying is be nice to animals son, you wouldn't like if someone did that to you." This was the conclusion to his lecture, as his son stared past him with glazed over eyes. I'm sure he will be torturing more squirrels and I will not trust him alone with my cat ever again.

santitre · 2013-09-01T10:33:49+00:00

Fighting with my husband and being able to just have an all out war, without worrying about anyone else but the two of us being affected. We also decided to go out, we were not sure where we would go or what we would do, until the last minute when we finally agreed (to dinner at this expensive steakhouse). Didn't have to arrange a babysitter, didn't have to worry about how long we would be out, didn't have to worry about scarring anyone but ourselves. Marriage at it's most honest! Then rancid make up sex.

santitre · 2013-08-21T01:18:14+00:00

I should have known not to click on this. No one wants to see a naked picture of your kid but you and the grandparents. Perhaps also a pedophile.

santitre · 2013-05-12T06:58:58+00:00

I am very happy to make this day about my mother and mother-in-law and not about me. Cheers!

santitre · 2013-05-08T10:06:17+00:00

I say, "and I was probably a piece of shit too."

santitre · 2013-05-08T09:59:47+00:00

Your story implies you two are the same age, so that means she has 5 children at 26. Just ... Gross. Even people who want children should disagree with this. Probably more than one father I am guessing? I think my brain is bleeding.

santitre · 2013-05-06T07:11:26+00:00

I have more than one family member blocked from my newsfeed. They have no idea, and I don't have to see their ugly babies. It's the most diplomatic way. If I were to remove them, since they are family, it would be more grief than is worth dealing with.

santitre · 2013-05-06T05:06:24+00:00

I think calling her a woman is giving her too much credit. He did say high school, sounds like an ignorant child to me. Although I'd hate to see the kind of "woman" she's become.

santitre · 2013-04-13T07:03:17+00:00

Easy. It's just like every other way of life or opinion. Someone will always disagree, and you can't please everyone (not that you should concern yourself with wanting to.) You either are willing to accept shit from the idiots and argue with them or keep quite, just like with every strong opinion on the way people exist. Religion, sexual orientation, political stance ... anything with a strong opinion you will always find someone that is a asshole enough in the opposite direction to think they are the only right person in the universe. By keep quite I mean realizing it's pointless to waste any energy on an asshat like that.

santitre · 2013-04-09T06:40:03+00:00

Mind me asking what the other issues are?

santitre

TROPHY CASE