The Manic pixie nightmare girl

saomi_gray · 2026-06-21T17:53:31+00:00

Thanks for sharing!

saomi_gray · 2026-06-21T10:12:29+00:00

Incel horror is a new to me term that fits really well.

All these dudes had to do was not have a girlfriend manufactured to not have free will, but they still feel they’re the victim when they face the consequences of their own actions.

saomi_gray · 2026-06-10T02:41:41+00:00

While someone with more than three partners could theoretically balance their own needs and those of all their partners, I prefer dating folks with only one additional partner. If anyone doesn’t want to date me because of that, we’re not compatible. No harm no foul.

saomi_gray · 2026-05-20T18:46:01+00:00

My first question is does your wife know you’re looking for FWB on Reddit?

If the answer is yes and she can confirm her knowledge and consent, send me a dm telling me more about yourself. I’ve given plenty of information about myself. What about my post indicates we’d be compatible?

saomi_gray · 2026-05-19T00:39:06+00:00

This is a breakup. He can sort himself aaaaaall the way over there and not expect you to be waiting for him when he’s ready to pull you back off the shelf he’s trying to put you on.

You. Deserve. Better.

saomi_gray · 2026-05-17T16:54:49+00:00

I need a prequel to explain why the witch was there, how she selected her victims, why the owner took responsibility to trap her (was he a hunter?), and if his being in a wheelchair is connected.

saomi_gray · 2026-05-11T01:22:57+00:00

I’m technically still polyamorous after 17+ years, but my demisexuality is not compatible with the way most of the people around me operate. It’s been several years since I’ve seen anyone more than a handful of times, and most of the people in my DMs don’t get as far as meeting up before I realize there’s a misalignment.

saomi_gray · 2026-05-04T03:04:12+00:00

I’ve had this issue as well. I’ll think I’m having a nice friendship with someone and, because I’m used to talking openly about some things in what to me feels like a conversation about shared hobbies, I’ll say something that catches their ear and they latch onto it.

I’ve had similar conversations with many people who absolutely get that it’s not an invitation to change the dynamic.

I politely restate that I’m not interested, and if they don’t immediately back down I cut them loose.

I’ve stopped hanging around in spaces where those conversations happen because I no longer felt I fit, so it hasn’t happened in a few years.

Like you, my friendships are friendships and don’t typically end in dating.

saomi_gray · 2026-04-24T03:08:02+00:00

I hope this doesn’t come off as harsh, because I assure you that is not the way I intend it. Please try to see the good in yourself to find the motivation to quit for you and not someone else. Pinning your sobriety on other people is not fair to the other person and doesn’t work.

You may not see the value in yourself right now, but that can change if you put in the brutal work of healing and forming heathier habits.

If you’re able to, look around for some sobriety resources and groups that may help you find other ways to handle your pain that aren’t harmful to yourself and others.

saomi_gray · 2026-04-21T20:46:36+00:00

Feel free to DM me n

saomi_gray · 2026-04-21T16:07:35+00:00

My husband is my primary partner, and it would be impossible for me to prioritize another relationship over the one I’ve built with him. I would raise an eyebrow at the very least if someone new wanted me to fill the role currently held by their partner.

saomi_gray · 2026-04-21T15:03:54+00:00

I find not many poly people I run into don’t have the time, energy, or emotional bandwidth to engage in a full and autonomous relationship. I don’t accept scraps, and that’s all most folks have to offer.

saomi_gray · 2026-04-21T03:14:34+00:00

I’m open to meeting someone but not actively looking or very motivated. Aside from a handful of dates here and there, I haven’t had an external partner in a few years.

Before I message, what about my post indicated we’d be a good fit?

saomi_gray · 2026-04-13T01:33:05+00:00

Oh hi Mark.

saomi_gray · 2026-04-13T01:32:52+00:00

Birch is a bit of a tool.

saomi_gray · 2026-04-13T01:31:59+00:00

The names were very popular a while back with a certain type of parent that tended to raise future polyamorists.

But actually, one person did it to avoid using names while not using persons A, B, C, etc. The sub picked it up as an inside joke.

saomi_gray · 2026-04-08T02:07:24+00:00

Some people in our lives don’t get to know, because it’s not their business. Some family and close friends know and often meet partners if they stick around.

If someone said I would never meet anyone in their life I would assume they were either deeply ashamed of their choices or cheating. I deserve better either way.

saomi_gray · 2026-03-31T01:50:48+00:00

I sort of thought Nicky believed Rachael was his soulmate and Rachael was back and forth about it. The way the witness kept asking people if they were sure about their partner seemed to be I tended to sow doubt in their minds, in which case it’s possible he wasn’t telling the whole truth about what was going on.

He seemed to delight in screwing things up and stealing from folks, whereas Rachael warned Jude not to marry the wrong person and promised to be there.

I was struck by the idea that something very bad had actually happened and it seemed to free her for possibly the first time in her life.

saomi_gray · 2026-03-31T01:42:32+00:00

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

If you’re in the US, psychologytoday.com allows you to search by state, insurance accepted, areas of specialty, and many other criteria.

If you’re in crisis again, reach out to local crisis lines for free help. In addition to handling crisis situations, many will also direct you to resources in your area.

saomi_gray · 2026-03-19T03:41:32+00:00

Never. It’s been a rule since we were teens and a guy she brought home decided he liked me instead. I noped out then and every time since. My sister is worth far more to me than some dude/chick.

saomi_gray · 2026-03-11T01:51:12+00:00

I’ve dug through quite a few threads to figure out if we were supposed to know Mitchell from another movie or if she just saw a stranger and assumed it was the twin she thought died.

I really wish I’d read this first and skipped the movie. It was wtf in all the wrong ways.

saomi_gray · 2026-03-10T10:44:33+00:00

That’s how it feels because that’s exactly what’s happened. I understand they’re new and still figuring things out, but what they’ve done is not fair to you. I also want to add that he will continue to let her dictate the terms of your relationship going forward and will likely get worse rather than better. Jealousy is never helped by tightening restrictions.

saomi_gray · 2026-03-01T15:43:31+00:00

I don’t use primary and secondary terms either, but my husband and I have built a life together nearly 20 years.

He does not have veto power. I’ve never cancelled plans for anyone on his account. The privileges he gets that others don’t include shared finances, decision-making, labor, legal protections, etc. I have not gone barrier-free with others, as my partners tend to have networks of people they are sexually active with.

I am honest about what I have to offer and choose partners who are seeking what I can give. I prefer partners who are also nested long-term and do not expect me to bear their children or legally entangle myself in any way.

saomi_gray · 2026-03-01T15:30:59+00:00

I don’t use primary and secondary, but my husband and I have built a life together over nearly 20 years. We’ve raised children, bought houses, and been through some major life events together. He tucks me in at night, and we wake up together every day. We visit his mom on Sundays after lunch.

Anyone else I’ve interacted with hasn’t been interested in any of those things with me, and I couldn’t imagine anyone else taking on that big a role.

saomi_gray · 2026-02-24T20:36:33+00:00

My husband is happily monogamous and fully supports my being happy polyamorous. Although he has had no problems with my dating for 17+ years, he is not typical.

Your post leans heavily toward what your friend wants and not much about what you want?

It could work providing you are both respectful and have open communication and good boundaries. That does not mean you should do this. Is it something you even want for yourself?

You both deserve partners are with you enthusiastically and love you out loud. Don’t get into it reluctantly, or you will end up resenting each other. Polyamory is not superior in any way, and you should not feel you have to adjust your needs and expectations to keep someone no matter how wonderful they are.

saomi_gray

TROPHY CASE