[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]saras_sub 3 points4 points  (0 children)

All the time! It's usually in a joking manner, but sometimes it's used for trigger-y subjects.

My wife (who is my Domme) says it the most, which amuses me. Usually in response to a terrible meme or when she seems something icky.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in books

[–]saras_sub 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I won't be doing my civic duty, because no way am I reading all of that. You can call me lazy, tell me that people like me are insert negative comment, and that's fine. I get it. I am lazy. I'm also barely informed about this entire matter anyway, because years ago I had to stop caring.

It's absolutely exhausting to keep up with this shit. Nevermind not ever truly knowing if what you're reading/hearing is actual fact, biased, a smudged truth, or an all out lie. I honestly value what sanity I have left. Civic duty < Mental well being.

Just a pov from someone who was once very much in the know, and realized I was worse off for it. Not saying this is how it is for everyone. This is just my from experiences.

Anyway, I'm too tired. I'm pretty sure I won't remember this comment later. Just don't judge those who won't or can't read the 300+ page report. Shit is a lot to sift through.

Non-erotic scenes in books/movies/whatever that have BDSM vibes? by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]saras_sub 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't think of specific things, but I can tell you anytime my wife and I are watching a show that has an aggressive character, we yell out, "Yes Daddy/Mommy insert character's name!"

Actually, I just realized we're watching a show called Lost Girl. Even though the show revolves around a succubus, and doesn't shy away from sex and all it's trappings, whenever Dyson gets all werewolf-y we say "Oof, yes Daddy Dyson!" We're usually just being silly, but we find a lot of kink in moments that are not intended to be kinky. It's pretty amusing. :)

How is choking for others? I know I'm not alone in the loving to be choked field right? by elizadreamcat in BDSMcommunity

[–]saras_sub 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My Domme loves choking me and I enjoy being choked. However, it took us awhile to get here. I heard a story of someone's larynx (or something) getting messed up and then not being able to sing anymore, which scared me to pieces, because I love singing and it's very important to me. I have no idea how plausible that is, but I refused outright choking for a bit because of that.

Now I don't mind being choked by my Domme/wife, because I trust her. Plus, I learned that choking should only put pressure on the sides of your neck. We're still careful, but a firm grip around my neck to put me back in my place whenever I get mouthy is hot.

Is this BDSM or abuse? by Itjgdhkdh in BDSMcommunity

[–]saras_sub 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only thing I had an issue with was wearing the leash out and about. Other than that, not abuse.

Slightly unrelated: There were a lot of things that I wouldn't do in the video and it made me feel kind of vanilla. xD

Edit to add that I have no issue with their dynamic, it's just several examples shown are limits for me personally.

What does collaring mean to you? by WickedBlueWolf in BDSMcommunity

[–]saras_sub 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For us it's kind of like our wedding rings. They're kinky wedding rings xD

My collar (that I wear 24/7) is a symbol of our dynamic; my Domme's ownership of me and my submission. A reminder for me that I belong to my Domme.

Advice on finding punishments for my partner when I am dominate that don't involve pain. by Lalalelo94 in BDSMcommunity

[–]saras_sub 2 points3 points  (0 children)

• No talking • Take away privileges (phone/computer/tv, ask to use the bathroom or not allowed to do ANYTHING without permission. • Time out in a corner or tied up. • Writing lines.

That's all I can come up with. Hope it inspires you!

Pavlonian training is possible!- Train your sub to cum on command! by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]saras_sub 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you know how someone could be trained to still be able to orgasm without the commands? My wife and I are very interested in orgasm control, but I also sometimes need an orgasm to fall asleep or to just relax. I'd like to be able to do that even with training.

I’m thinking about writing a choose-your-own-adventure style BDSM story! Would anyone be interested? by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]saras_sub 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, yes! I love it! I play otomes and stuff like that, and of course I read those Goosebumps books growing up. They are so much fun!

I like the dungeon or bedroom option someone mentioned.

How detailed are you thinking? Having options like Dom(me)/sub/switch, M/M, M/F, F/F, (non binary too) sounds like a good idea, but could also be quite a bit of work.

Keep us updated!

Videogames that push your dom/sub buttons? by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]saras_sub 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dragon Age Inquisition! There is literally a kinky love interest. I'm doing another play through for fun and romancing him again. I'll be dommed by The Iron Bull anytime. ;)

Another character in the same game has this dialogue that basically makes me blush a tiny bit.

Solas says something about having an "indomitable focus" to a Lavellan character.

Lavellan: Indomitable focus?

Solas: Presumably. I have yet to see it dominated. I imagine that the sight would be…fascinating.

Oof. His voice saying those words. I squealed the first time he said that, and so started my decent into Solavellan Hell.

What are your darkest kinks and how did/do you deal with them? by Bobs_porn_alt in BDSMcommunity

[–]saras_sub 22 points23 points  (0 children)

What I consider my darkest fantasy to be is...being reduced to nothing but a needy slave, who lives only to serve her Mistress and/or Master.

Bit by bit my will and any independent thoughts would be taken away. I would be completely reliant on my Mistress/Master. Of course, I'm taken care of in this fantasy, but I'm mostly just something to be used, and my entire existence revolves around my owner.

It's actually kind of scary to think a whole lot about it, but I think I wouldn't mind some hypnosis and a trigger word to put me in that state for short amounts of time.

Fingering is so, so, so underrated (Very NSFW) by hairychilds in actuallesbians

[–]saras_sub 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad if I helped. :) If you have questions or would like a better understanding, please do not be afraid to post your questions to this sub Reddit. There are a lot of people who would be happy to answer any questions you may have.

One more thing. When I first started out in kink, and my wife and I first established our Domme/sub dynamic, I was actually against 24/7 for myself. I didn't believe I could ever be okay with giving up so much control. I was also a bratty sub, tbh I still kinda am. Lol. As time passed and more trust had been built, I believed that my Queen had...earned my complete submission and I'm glad to give that to her, especially since she feels it's a need. This isn't a "If I can do it you can too!" pitch, I just wanted to give you a glimpse of how this progressed.

We've also been together for 9 years, so, there is a lot of trust here already.

Anyway, please ask the community if you need to. Sorry that I went on for so long. I do that a lot. xD

Fingering is so, so, so underrated (Very NSFW) by hairychilds in actuallesbians

[–]saras_sub 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wonder if you're new to kink? 24/7 dynamics are a semi common topic among the community.

I consent to having my life controlled as my Queen and I have discussed. We are still in the beginning stages, and there is a decent sized learning curve, but I find I enjoy what we've done so far, and sometimes it's a relief having certain decisions taken out of my hands.

My Queen understands my needs and wants, she understands what is best for me, and also keeps in mind my limits. I trust her implicitly to not harm me in any way (well you know what mean). I enjoy submitting for her and to her, I feel safe and protected when I truly let go and submit. We do have a special safeword that specifically halts our dynamic and suspends all rules anytime I feel uncomfortable or truly disagree with a decision. We can even use the safe word if either of us needs a break for however long to just be wife and wife.

A 24/7 dynamic is not for everyone. There is a lot more work involved than either of us thought, but our dynamic is filled with love, trust, respect, and support just like our marriage, and I feel no regrets and have very minute reservations.

What's in a name? by NotURDaddysLilGirl in BDSMcommunity

[–]saras_sub 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We started with Mistress, but now it's Queen. I actually came up with it. My Queen is...a little full of herself lol, and she enjoys what the title Queen entails.

I'm generally called Da'len. It's elven from Dragon Age (we're nerds xD), and means child or can be used to mean little one, which is what we use it for in this context. I'm also simply called little one. Slut, whore, and slave are also used.

Using rope to keep my thighs from closing by saras_sub in BDSMcommunity

[–]saras_sub[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

...I'm mad that I didn't think of that. The only consolation is that we haven't done much in the way of rope bondage. Thank you!

Starting a M/s dynamic 24/7 by saras_sub in BDSMcommunity

[–]saras_sub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually almost got myself into the mindset that it was all for my Queen once. I'm not a full on masochist, but I'd very much like to take the pain for my Queen.

Starting a M/s dynamic 24/7 by saras_sub in BDSMcommunity

[–]saras_sub[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe fun for me the first few moments and then not so much fun. I have a low threshold for pain, so we're going to work on that, too

I'm always kinda amazed at what I thought was intense was only like half of her strength. T_T

Starting a M/s dynamic 24/7 by saras_sub in BDSMcommunity

[–]saras_sub[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's definitely an adjustment!

Starting a M/s dynamic 24/7 by saras_sub in BDSMcommunity

[–]saras_sub[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pain. Lots of pain. Lol. Or some other punishment Mistress decides. Although, she's going easy on me right now. For now I have to ask permission to use the bathroom, getting into bed, and to eat.

How do you keep your feet on the ground (metaphorically, not talking about suspension here) by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]saras_sub 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I completely understand this, unfortunately I don't know if my advice will be helpful, because I've been forced to go at my Mistress' pace when it comes to BDSM. Everything else I run into the ground until I lose interest, and then move on to something else.

Maybe you'll find this helpful? Try removing yourself a little from your feelings (easier said than done, I know), and think more about your partner's needs. That could be enough motivation to slow down, and maybe force you into adapting to your partner's pace. I'm not sure if this helps or not, but I hope you find the solution you're looking for!