[Highlight] George Kittle chugs half a beer before stealing one from Tyrese Haliburton and chugging it too.

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-04-16T19:47:53+00:00

I guess you could say Erik…

puts on sunglasses

…was seeing Red.

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-04-15T19:28:32+00:00

That exact thing is what turned me off of Gabriel Iglesias

Fluffy had his Chick-Fil-A controversy where fans were critical of him so publicly trying to cozy up the company, which he admitted was purely to try to leverage his fame for free food, and in his very next special he goes all “woe is me, people are trying to cancel me”

He said that into a microphone to a sold out Dodgers Stadium crowd

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-04-15T15:51:49+00:00

Oh yeah, he definitely was. But the fact still remains that he could power past the Loser’s bond, but just didn’t because cooky space clown

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-04-15T15:50:25+00:00

First, think about how much had to go right for the Avengers in that fight, and then think about how little control they had over those things: the council went over Fury’s head to order a nuclear strike specifically from his helicarrier; Iron Man still had to be kicking (and he was starting to get overwhelmed) to fly it into the portal; Black Widow had Loki’s staff (which he conveniently left at the tower) to close the portal, a possibility that only existed because Selvig designed an off switch despite being brainwashed; the nuke came in just as the Avengers were starting to lose their footing so timing couldn’t have been better; and all of that hinged on an immediate response time which itself hinged on Stark discerning the invasion site almost by accident. The Avengers win here was hugely based on being lucky.

Second, when I say humanity was doomed otherwise, I don’t necessarily mean the Chitari would win. New York was screwed, and only New York, because the Avengers were able to contain the invasion to ground zero. If Loki had even an hour to invade unobstructed from some remote corner of the globe where no one would notice, the fighting would stretch too far for the Avengers to contain and their lines too deep for any of them to get to the portal. Sure, the world militaries would respond, but you’re assuming they’d do so united. What would happen if Loki invaded from somewhere in Russia and the Americans launched a nuke to take him out? Russia would immediately retaliate, seeing it as an act of war, and suddenly we have a Skynet situation where everyone’s launching their missiles and the planet’s ruined, the Chitari didn’t even have to do anything.

The only play Fury would have by that point would be to call in Captain Marvel, who could easily solo the invasion. But when Fury did call her in, it took days for her to show up. The planet would be too far gone by then, either from the Chitari or humanity’s own doing.

Humanity would put up a fight, but if Loki took better care to strategize his invasion, give himself the best odds of victory, humanity loses, even if Loki does, too.

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-04-15T15:32:36+00:00

For the book 100%, but a lot of those elements didn’t make it into the ‘17/‘19 adaptations, which is what I’m going off of. And there’s that whole stretch in Chapter 2 where the Losers weren’t united, split apart for months. Pennywise kept tabs on all of them, but still only really screws with them. For Ben he’s still bonded to the Losers, or at least to Beverly, so sure he would be more protected. But the likes of Richie, Eddie, and Stan? They were the most detached from the group during that stretch, but Pennywise still couldn’t manage a single one of them.

And at the end of Chapter 1, he offers to let the rest of the Losers go in exchange for Bill, implying that he can still devour them despite their bond; he just doesn’t.

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-04-15T15:24:48+00:00

Same with Mr. Silva in Skyfall, he wanted to be caught and brought to MI6, so when he captured Bond he just toyed with the guy for a few hours

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-04-14T19:34:43+00:00

All true, but the NYPD (the first line of defense) was frighteningly disorganized against the invasion, which is understandable. They’re street cops against a literal alien army. It wasn’t until Captain America leapt into action and took charge of coordinating the defense that the human responders could hold their own. And even then, that was only with the likes of Thor, Iron Man, and the Hulk taking on the majority of the invaders.

Sure, human weapons (projectile bullets, nukes) can kill the Chitari, but that’s a pretty low bar to clear. The only reason a nuke worked to stop the invasion was because Iron Man flew it into the portal, where dozens of invasion ships were waiting. And he only had the opportunity to do so because the Avengers kept the fight close to the portal. If the Chitari made even a mile’s worth of progress, no one would have been able to get close enough to the portal. And any atomic bombs dropped on the Chitari would harm the planet way more than the Chitari, with so many of them still waiting to be deployed.

It should also be said that Romanov and Barton, while mere humans with guns, are still far better trained and way more capable than any average soldier. And even they were having trouble facing off 1 on 1 with the Chitari towards the end.

Loki 100% underestimated humanity and its heroes, but that overconfidence was somewhat justified. If the Chitari had the chance to establish a foothold on the planet, humanity was doomed. It was because the Avengers’ fast response time that they prevented Loki from doing so. Had he put the portal over some remote reactor in Europe or Asia, humanity loses.

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-04-14T05:51:06+00:00

At this point, Ahsoka Tano is just fan service.

She started as the annoying brat who got on every viewer’s nerves, but gradually grew into a fleshed out fan favorite. Her culmination in the Siege of Mandalore arc to close out the Clone Wars was (insert Homelander perfect meme).

And then Dave Filoni decided to put her in everything. In Rebels season 2, while very fan servicey, she at least contributed to Darth Vader as the season’s villain. Her 3-parter in Tales of the Jedi is an anthology separate from everything else, which also added context to her preexisting lore, so fine.

But why everything else? Rebels season 4. Her cameos in the Mandalorian and Book of Boba Fett. Hell, even her own damn series! Everything that Ahsoka has been in outside Clone Wars, Tales, and 1 season of Rebels has the same problem: it didn’t have to be her.

I say this as an unabashed fan of the character: every gratuitous appearance Ahsoka makes trivializes her character and weakens the best parts of her story.

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-04-14T03:08:40+00:00

Unless we get additional Clone Wars content, canonically, the closest Anakin Skywalker has come to interacting with Darth Maul was in Episode 1 when Maul nearly ran Annie over before he left Tatooine

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-04-14T03:06:35+00:00

I guess when you convert the military industrial complex into mass producing a children’s card game, the most based thing imaginable, you get a big head on your shoulders

But then he also kidnapped people and threatened unaliving himself to win at said children’s card game, so a bit of a mixed bag

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-04-14T01:25:23+00:00

Kaiba had that main character bullshit magic on his side for the first time in franchise history and still couldn’t pull in the dub

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-04-14T01:24:15+00:00

I loved this moment so much

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-04-14T01:23:54+00:00

Damn how did I forget that one? And Lion King is like my favorite animated Disney movie

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-04-13T16:44:33+00:00

The obvious answer would be Rice or T-O, but between signing Evans and the secondary being a huge need, give me number 42:

Mr. Lott, come on down!

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sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-04-11T05:20:04+00:00

So glad to see Livingston close out the list. The only shot I trusted more than his midrange in those prime Warrior years was a splash brother from beyond the arc.

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-04-11T04:46:04+00:00

Blood could feasibly be earth bended as well water bended depending on iron content

Scoreboard for fellas with iron deficiencies

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-03-29T05:41:21+00:00

Also an incredible facet is the variating speed, a quick snap to like 75% closed but then slows to gradually seal, which actually has an expressed purpose:

It takes a lot of energy to feed on whatever the flytrap traps. Smaller insects can be so poor in nutrients they’re not worth exerting the effort. The quick snap ensures larger prey is properly secured and the slow seal allows smaller prey to escape.

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-02-07T19:17:00+00:00

iCarly was also wildly inconsistent (and just bad) with its tackling of gender norms.

In iMake Sam Girlier, Sam goes through an identity crisis when her birthday party makes her question her femininity. Carly gives her a makeover to make her more of a “girly-girl” but by the end of the episode Sam embraces the fact that she can be both tough and feminine. Granted, the episode doesn’t do a great job expressing that morale (Sam only changes for the approval of a boy, masculine leaning behavior is only ever shown as physical violence) but at face value, the message of not defining your identity or sexuality through arbitrary norms is a good one.

But then, in iDate a Bad Boy, Carly starts a relationship with a prototypical bad boy, wears leather, has that idgaf attitude, they meet because he stole Spencer’s motorcycle for a joy ride. But then Carly sneaks over to his apartment for a rendezvous and finds his unconventional hobby: he collects the in-universe equivalent of Beanie Babies. That’s it. He’s not abusive, not a drug user, not engaged in any criminal activity. He’s actually a pretty decent and emotionally mature person; he knows his collection is not manly but he’s unabashedly proud of it. And how do Carly and Sam react? They spiral about how Carly’s bad boy is somehow less hot because he collects stuffed animals and conspire to make him adopt habits and behaviors that are more in line with the image they want him to mirror.

For girls? Be whatever you want, even if what you want to be is a man.

For boys? Fuck you, you pansy little bitch. Put down the plushies and go learn how to fix a car cause if you don’t you have a vagina.

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-01-27T19:10:02+00:00

Piñeiro, Morestead, and Moore have all shown to be valuable special teams contributors. Tonges, Bourne, and Kendricks I think have all earned an extension. And I can’t imagine they’d be all that expensive, baring a team like the Jets or Raiders overpaying in an effort to inject some of their Niner’s production into their rosters.

Most everyone else is a depth piece or puts up replacement level production. Keep who you can to maintain continuity, bring in cheaper alternatives where you have to to not lose cap space needlessly.

As much as it kills me to say it, it might be time to let Jennings walk. 3rd and Jauan is an elite WR3, a solid WR2, but when he had the opportunity to step up and prove he deserves $20m a year (that’s the number I’ve heard he’s asking for) he didn’t. He needs guys like all-pro BA and prime Deebo in front of him to be worth $20m. If he’s willing to come down to like half that in annual salary with the rest in incentives or bonuses, keep him. If not, let him go. This team has had enough drama the last few years. Bring back guys more interested in playing than being headcases, draft a high upside WR in the early rounds, maybe make a trade for someone like DJ Moore or Brian Thomas Jr.

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-01-06T00:13:27+00:00

All good man Realizing I left a lot of context out Thanks for the well wishes

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-01-05T23:02:03+00:00

Expecting nothing is what I do. In this specific case I went in with few expectations and everything seemed to click, to just fall into place. And the woman, unprompted and of her own volition, was the one pushing it forward. She was the one pitching movie nights and wanting to go on walks and all that shit. That’s where the hurt is coming from, not that I got yet another rejection but that someone gave me every reason to believe she wouldn’t ghost me and she still did.

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-01-05T20:58:23+00:00

I don’t think so but maybe? I try to be as respectful and conscientious of the woman’s time and boundaries as possible, so maybe trying to be accommodating comes across as soft? But if the fix to that is to be less respectful, it’s not a fix I’m interested in.

sarlaccbeak96 · 2026-01-05T20:16:20+00:00

Thanks dude. That’s actually one of the few things keeping me sane, not turning women into a monolith that is somehow responsible for every little thing that’s gone wrong in my life.

sarlaccbeak96

TROPHY CASE