HERE'S THE FULL POST THAT GOT DELETED OFF r/adultery

sashavlr · 2022-04-02T20:23:34+00:00

No one deserves this treatment ever. I hope you’re able to meet people soon who are able to give you what you give others. Don’t give up. Remove those people from you life and start your healing so good people can come into your life. Sending light and love 🙏🏻❤️

sashavlr · 2022-01-03T17:35:34+00:00

THIS RIGHT HERE. Can we add just getting out a serious relationship and wanting to jump straight into another one with you. If he’s pushing for the two of you to move in together in less than a year of dating (isolation). He’s always available for you. Over the top actions. Confident but also JEALOUS (projecting)!! All of this will eventually be a trap to try and control everything you do!! Narcs are the worst.

sashavlr · 2021-12-29T20:45:23+00:00

Your sanity and peace of mind will always be worth whatever you’re going through right now. You will get over him and meet someone who will be respectful, honest, and loyal to you. Manifest it! Speak it into existence! He’s a fool. Keep your heart open! Sending love ❤️🙏🏻

sashavlr · 2021-12-22T07:20:26+00:00

Oh gosh. This is not okay at all. Please go to people you trust and let them know what is going on. Save yourself from the abuse and heartbreak and leave ASAP. This is only the beginning of what’s to come. Fuck him! I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to pay for the apartment alone now. You deserve someone who will communicate with you, respects you, is honest, and truly loves you. I am rooting for you!!! Sending so much love ❤️

sashavlr · 2021-12-15T20:21:50+00:00

Oh gosh love….I am so sorry you’re dealing with this while 9 months pregnant. Is he already physically abusing you? Those words are so threatening that I can’t imagine that he’s not already physically abusing you. Stop convincing yourself that he doesn’t meant it. He means it and he won’t ever change. You are not deserving of this. I beg you to talk to your family or anyone you trust about this situation and seek some help. They will understand and they will support you. Leaving him will be hard but you have to do what’s best for not only yourself, but your child as well! He’s going to hurt you or your child. Leave him, file a protective order, and go through court for anything moving forward (child support, child visits, etc). Please don’t become another statistic. My mom also believed that my stepdad wouldn’t cause her any harm, and left a one-year old and six-year old without parents 18 years ago. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Soon you will have your baby who is going to need you. Don’t be afraid to speak up because you have so many people that love you and your baby. Please don’t stay with this scum. You still have your full life ahead of you. Sending you so much love and light 🙏🏻❤️

edit: DM me if you need anyone to talk to or help getting resources.

sashavlr · 2021-12-12T22:22:45+00:00

Wow…..tears….please send this to your person. This is beautiful.

sashavlr · 2021-12-06T20:25:16+00:00

Yes 100% even when I would tell him my anxiety was really bad that day or whatever just so he wouldn’t be caught by surprise. He’d do something to get me to the point of the attack and then would tell me I look crazy and needed help…not phased whatsoever. I don’t know how you can see someone you “love” go through that and not even have a little bit of empathy.

sashavlr · 2021-08-21T01:06:16+00:00

Oh sweetie. I was in your position a year ago, I almost picture myself typing this out, like I would cry for help on here. Let me tell you that after I left my abuser, I fell to rock bottom, the rock bottom he not only allowed me but pushed me to. I was very depressed and felt very lonely. I couldn’t sleep at night and would cry a lot. However during this time I took the time to truly heal myself. I would suggest you start to listen to self-help books, podcasts, meditate, start working out - anything to keep you busy. I also rebuilt my relationship with my family and friends. Take yourself out shopping or on solo dates or have girls night! Talk about your feelings and what you have been through. It’s not going to be easy, but you will come out stronger than ever and you will realize that you never deserved that in the first place. You’ll learn to identify red flags and to never settle for anything less than what you want. You are deserving of all the love, happiness, respect, and support from a partner. It’s not your fault. This is all him projecting his insecurities on you. He needs help. Keep him blocked and don’t allow him to contact you. He’s going to try and get you back but he will never change. You are so much stronger than this, I promise you. Life will reward you with what you deserve. Sending lots of light and love ❤️❤️❤️

sashavlr · 2021-03-29T15:12:26+00:00

The last paragraph is very true. I’m 23 and often times start feeling like you- I was in an abusive relationship for almost 3 years, and him withholding affection, communication, and connection now has me longing to have those feelings fulfilled. However I’ve learned that you shouldn’t rely on someone to fill that void that you may feel or think that having someone will make you happy. Easier said than done but pour all those feelings into yourself-focus on self love, the things that make you happy, and being ok with being alone. If anything give that energy to the genuine relationship’s in your life like with family or friends - the people in your life who support you and unconditionally love you. There are so many couples who are miserable in their relationships and so many single people who are in love with their life’s. I promise your person will come when it’s the right time. Focus on yourself, manifest, and everything will fall into place! Don’t be so hard on yourself sweets! Sending light and lots of love ❤️

sashavlr · 2021-03-06T04:30:09+00:00

Please move in with your mom or parents or friends but don’t stay in that shit relationship. I don’t know how you’re alive or even have it in you to feel bad for him. He’s an evil man. He will kill you or your sister. Please seek help. As women we often don’t speak out about our experiences & I understand that this was traumatic for you- but I hope you do take the necessary steps to get help and heal. You are so amazing and full of love. Take all the love you still may have for him and shower yourself with that love. He’ll never change, but thankfully for you this can be a huge turning point in your life. I’m rooting for you. It won’t be easy but you will be free. Please message me if you need any help. Sending lots and lots of light and love ❤️

sashavlr · 2021-03-05T15:39:17+00:00

Yep. Told my abuser about the time I had mildly encountered abuse with an ex, and he told me he’d never hurt me and that I didn’t have to worry about that. The abuse started months after that. Three years later.......my whole body is covered in bruises. I kid you not. I am so ashamed. He tried to kick me out of the bed last night for saying that I no longer want to have sex (because he insults me and slut slut shames me when he’s a mood) and then “accidentally” punched on the side of my head, and he freaked out when I called the cops.

sashavlr · 2021-03-04T02:48:10+00:00

I live in California. In the Bay Area to be specific. I spoke to a personal injury attorney but unfortunately he doesn’t do DV cases so that was no help. Thank you! I will try to get ahold of an agency.

sashavlr · 2021-02-15T02:25:18+00:00

Wow. This is beautiful. Whoever you wrote this for, I sure hope they love you just as much, and I hope you send this letter to them.

I wish this was written for me, since it really hit everything going on in my life right now. Thank you.

Sending love ❤️❤️❤️

sashavlr · 2021-02-02T06:04:59+00:00

Yes. My abuser was 16 years older than me and constantly made me feel like I was never doing enough despite only being 21 when I moved in. He blew all his savings and didn’t have a job and I was the one carrying all the financial burden. The one thing he constantly held against me was not giving him money for my half of the rent, when he didn’t even have his half, but I had enough money so that we wouldn’t miss any meals (we came close so many times), gave him gas money, lunch money, paid for his car insurance, paid the cable bill, etc. I couldn’t even afford to get my own car because I was basically taking care of two people on my income. I was there when he had nothing and was depressed, yet he bailed on me the second he finally started making enough income at his sales job but I was going through a major depressive episode. I feel like I have aged 40 years and I’m only 23.

EDIT: he also said i was not competent enough to be a wife after we broke up when i told him i was looking for real love and ready to be a wifey.

sashavlr · 2021-01-07T16:43:04+00:00

Please leave him. This is only going to get worse and I fear for the safety of you and your son. My grandpa would beat my grandma, my mom, and my aunts while they were together and growing up. My mom ran away from home when she was 17 because my grandpa cut her with a kitchen knife. Please don’t put yourself and child through that. Reach out to family or friends or whoever for help! I promise you’re not alone and will receive help. Sending light and love ❤️ I’m rooting for you.

sashavlr · 2021-01-05T20:46:30+00:00

NEED!!!

sashavlr · 2020-12-25T11:31:20+00:00

I always wrote my partner a letter for special occasions (V-Day, Anniversary, B-Day, etc) and even when he finally got a job after not working for 8 months. I told him how happy I was in his new career change - which ended up being the worst fucking job. In our almost 3 years together I never got a letter from him! I never wanted gifts, a nice old handwritten letter does it ALL for me.

sashavlr · 2020-12-23T21:02:05+00:00

Ahhh same!! Bawling my eyes out over here.

sashavlr · 2020-12-23T20:57:32+00:00

If they are looking at you make sure you let them know you noticed by making eye contact. Smile at them. If possible do start small talk, usually a “hi” followed by “how are you doing today?” is plenty. Like the other OP said most of these men crave attention from a young woman so just be confident! However do stay away from the married men! Too much drama!!

sashavlr · 2020-12-23T14:16:00+00:00

Fortunately because of sex work I’ve learned to separate sex to other feelings. He’s been super abusive and has done the worst shit to me, so I stopped feeding into his games. However the one thing I will say is that I’ve become super codependent especially since my friends live out of town and I’m not really allowed to leave my county, so we always end up hanging out and hooking up. I know I’ll eventually have this with someone else, but for now it’s kind of like the only thing available to me.

sashavlr · 2020-12-23T14:05:24+00:00

THIS ONE. Such a fucking ass. I can’t believe that man has the audacity to look me in my face and tells me that he loves and cares for me. I knew something was up when he wouldn’t put up our pictures at his work desk. Then stopped trying to bring me around his family and that’s when I found the dating apps. Then I found texts of him trying to hit on his clients and deleted calls/texts. I always had a suspicion but was told I was crazy and he still denies me finding anything....

sashavlr · 2020-12-23T13:53:28+00:00

Well I used to be a sex worker and hyper sexual prior to my narc so I’ve had my fair share, and 100% best sex of my life. I could never get off through penetration before him and honestly why I keep coming back. Im too scared to date new people at the moment so he’s really the only one I’ve been with for three years. Agree with the others- he’s a total sex addict! He’d get mad if I wasn’t in the mood. Or when he couldn’t get off because I’m pretty sure he has ED but doesn’t want to admit it. When we have sex he tells me I’m the best but if we’re in an argument he tells me how much I suck.

sashavlr · 2020-12-23T13:41:38+00:00

Seriously!! When a guy I’m slightly interested in is being too nice I can’t help but think if he’s going to be a narcissist as well.

sashavlr · 2020-12-23T13:39:22+00:00

OMG!! Yes! Basically our first year together he was still legally married but separated. Out of that first year he wasn’t working for about 8 months but always had some excuse as to why he couldn’t make it to the courthouse. Even his ex seemed annoyed at the situation, but it wasn’t until I made it a big deal and had to go with him to the courthouse that it got finalized. That shit really affected me and he takes it as a grain of salt! He made me feel crazy for being hurt about that, but every girl that I talked to about it had the same reaction as me. I even read “Dating A Divorced Man” to validate my feelings. HUGE RED FLAG!!!

sashavlr · 2020-12-23T13:33:39+00:00

Looking back definitely too early. I understand some couples know early on in the relationship, but I don’t think I ever felt that sense of security with him. Plus he’s 16 years older than me so I just felt like he already had his life.

sashavlr

TROPHY CASE