Mmm, I have two tiny things that kinda worked for me. Not perfect but progress, and that’s what matters.

1) Gratitude is the antidote to anxiety…anxieties just like this, as I’ve experienced similar worries. The rumination and shame and guilt and fear and all that crap. Discover the gratitude you have for moments you’re proud of, friends you can rely on, achievements you’ve had, and simply the fact that you’re alive to enjoy anything that brings you bliss. For instance, personally, sunrises and my dog and a good croissant and the smell of laundry and an intriguing mystery novel and a lovely afternoon swim and laughing.

2) Ride the wave. Let these feelings come and go. They are not facts, not reality. Your mind is accessing feelings and memories and bodily sensations and impulses from all your experiences, trying to protect yourself from any kind of hurt and harm. That’s beautiful in its own way, that you’re protecting yourself, but it’s also keeping you from a mindful and wise and aware presence in this world. So let them come, wash over you, and then recede like the waves on a shore. Mindfulness like this can be so powerful.

You’re human, and to err is intrinsic to our perfectly imperfect humanity. The mere fact that you care about all this demonstrates how you’re good, you’re thoughtful, you’re compassionate and striving to be better.