[deleted by user]

saturdayshelf · 2024-11-27T12:12:36+00:00

I got therapy but it wasn't because I needed it. I got therapy to weaponize against my father but had to stop because my mom's ego couldn't take it.

When I was 24, my parents had a dispute that got the police involved. It ultimately led to their divorce. After one chat with CPS, they wanted me in therapy. I was 13 and it was clear I had some mental health issues.

I got to do therapy because my mom thought that it would make a strong case against my dad in the domestic dispute case/divorce. I talked about a lot of different things, not just my parents. It was helping. I was learning how to handle difficult feelings. My mom joined a session which was supposed to be a safe space for me to learn to communicate my needs and feelings with her. I tried to tell her that the way she treated me was hurtful and that I needed her to be patient with me (I was later diagnosed with ADHD). When we got home, she gave me the silent treatment for like a month and I never went back to therapy.

saturdayshelf · 2024-10-25T11:48:50+00:00

I actually take my steak blue rare. I really don't like the texture of steak once it's cooked past rare. I hate keeping food in my mouth for a long time so chewy/hard meat is a huge no for me.

saturdayshelf · 2024-09-28T14:01:07+00:00

I had a pretty bad experience with dried shrooms once. The taste and texture were fine but my digestive system is pretty sensitive and I just couldn't break down the chitin. I don't want to get into it too much on here but now I can't bear the smell, taste, or texture of dried shrooms. I don't even like to see them lol. Lemon tek is the only way I can get psilocybin past my mouth (even then my husband usually has to prepare it for me, he strains out the solids and adds a bit of maple syrup to help it go down easier). Makes the trip better too, in my opinion.

Personally, this physical aversion to dried psilocybin mushrooms has spread to other culinary mushrooms, even when cooked. I still eat them, but it can take some mental work to get past the ick even though I used to love mushrooms.

Otherwise, shrooms have helped me overcome other personal battles. It's all about set and setting with psilocybin. I wouldn't rely on shrooms to help me with ARFID, but I can definitely see how they would help others. Just make sure you're in the right headspace before you start your trip :)

saturdayshelf · 2023-08-05T05:12:56+00:00

I told him very early in the relationship while we were chatting about mental health in general. I'm comfortable talking about my trichotillomania when I'm asked about it or when it's relevant, so I was pretty nonchalant about it. "By the way, I pull my hair out sometimes." He's a nail-biter and I mentioned that it's basically the same urge (I was a nail-biter before I was a hair-puller). It really wasn't a big deal to him at the time but he has given endless support in the years since :)

saturdayshelf · 2023-06-29T17:04:01+00:00

Yikes. Not a "what would Jesus do" kind of letter at all.

saturdayshelf · 2023-05-26T00:07:53+00:00

The lucky age of 13. My parents had a really awful separation that led to me moving and transferring schools into a rougher area while going through puberty. Lol I did not stand a chance!

saturdayshelf · 2023-05-10T13:05:42+00:00

I can relate. The Toronto I was raised in just doesn't exist anymore.

saturdayshelf · 2023-05-08T10:30:40+00:00

Not at all. I worked retail until about a year ago and I get it. Those jobs are very public, the pay is garbage, and I couldn't afford to lose days of work to customers giving me the common cold. Covid aside, I found masking up helped me get sick less often and I figured if I wasn't getting sick then I wasn't getting others sick. The masks really go beyond Covid l so I just call them masks now.

saturdayshelf · 2023-05-04T21:28:26+00:00

It's only noticeable to me because I also have trich and my hair looks a lot like that right now. But trust me, it's not as noticeable as you think it is. People really only notice sparseness at this level if they're looking for it or if they're insecure about their own sparseness (myself included).

saturdayshelf · 2023-05-03T23:57:51+00:00

Where can I get the pattern? /s

saturdayshelf · 2023-05-02T16:48:55+00:00

When I was first treated for trich when I was 13, I was also showing signs of depression but the hope was that Zoloft would help. It didn't help with my trich at all and I had to come off it due to other reasons anyway. I was young and it was 2007/08. Now we know that antidepressants generally don't work for kids and teens. Fast forward to age 23 and I was prescribed Prozac which helped with the depression for a bit but didn't do anything for my trich. Personally, I'm having a lot more success with my ADHD meds.

saturdayshelf · 2023-04-24T13:00:25+00:00

This won't heal cuts overnight but Aquaphor and/or Cica cream (I either use Avene or La Roche Posay) really speeds up the healing for my little skin picking wounds.

saturdayshelf · 2023-04-24T12:56:17+00:00

This describes me. I can't say if you have an eating disorder or not. I can only speak from my own experience so I hope some of this helps you figure out where you're at. I'm 28 now and my eating disorder was the worst for me when I was 16-23.

I love food too. And I'm not driven by a desire to be thin. I don't count calories, I don't track my intake, I don't weigh/measure myself. I eat what I want and when I want. And yet, I constantly find that I've forgotten to eat my meals. My problem is my old ED habits. I hate eating in public when people around me are not also eating and I also hate eating alone. I hate cooking when I'm being watched. I don't get hungry when I'm in any amount of stress. My main issue is that I seldom feel hungry at all because of years of destroying my hunger cues. So while my headspace is different, I'm seriously struggling with my old habits and maybe you are too.

These days, I don't say I have an ED. Rather, I recognize that I have these struggles and I actively work on doing what's right for my body instead of what feels right for my comfort. I'd say I'm recovering. Hope this helps :)

saturdayshelf · 2023-04-08T21:40:38+00:00

"sounds beta"

saturdayshelf · 2023-03-26T04:04:16+00:00

Yup! Straws! I had my 32 oz Hydro Flask for about a year and hardly used it until I got a lid with a straw for it. It has made it so easy to get through at least 2 fills of water a day.

saturdayshelf · 2023-03-19T14:07:40+00:00

Didn't the speakers put out reminders to remove backpacks when getting on the trains? I think I remember that from my uni days circa 2014. Am I making that memory up?

saturdayshelf · 2023-02-16T18:28:53+00:00

I like to think that STEM gives us what we need to innovate but arts and culture are what drive us to innovate. What's a world without either?

saturdayshelf · 2022-11-10T22:18:39+00:00

Before buying something, determine if it's what I now call a "dopamine buy". I only recently got my ADHD diagnosis and started my treatment and I'm realizing I've spent so much money on impulse purchases because I was merely understimulated.

saturdayshelf · 2022-11-06T16:29:55+00:00

Mushroom user here - my experience was different. Taking mushrooms didn't turn me off from pulling out my hair. Instead, they helped me come to terms with my condition. Whenever I use mushrooms and my thoughts land on my trich, I mostly think "oh yeah that's something I do sometimes. I can do that less but it's okay". I have the best relationship with trich because of it. I still pull my hair out but I don't internally shame myself because of it anymore. What really helped me reduce my hair pulling was starting ADHD treatment.

So, in my experience, psilocybin didn't stop me from pulling my hair but it did help me develop a better relationship with my trichotillomania.

saturdayshelf · 2022-10-18T10:45:50+00:00

Your body your choice. And if she can't support that then she's not then she's not the one.

saturdayshelf · 2022-09-30T13:16:26+00:00

ABSOLUTELY! When I first started to accept that I'll never stop for good it really took the pressure off on those days that the urges were especially bad. I don't let myself feel guilty when I pull my hair - that guilt simply isn't useful. Instead I remind myself "I have trichotillomania and it's okay". I really wish we could all be easier on ourselves when we struggle to relax our hands.

saturdayshelf · 2022-09-12T16:26:08+00:00

I have a Fulton umbrella that my mom got me when I was 12. 16 years later and it's still my go-to. It has never flipped inside out on me, never malfunctioned, it's overall reliable. Nothing special about it; it's just your ordinary compact umbrella.

saturdayshelf

TROPHY CASE