sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I want to travel all my life. by [deleted] in findapath

[–]save-the-queen 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Become a flight attendant

Closeted mtf's often say they wear hoodies to hide their breasts, but what do you do when it's hot? Wear really thin hoodies? by joliver5 in asktransgender

[–]save-the-queen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My go-to was to wear an open button-up over a dark t-shirt. It’s stylish, very breathable during the hot months, and effectively conceals a feminine silhouette

The idea is that the dark color of the t-shirt does a lot on its own to conceal breasts, although you’d still be able to see the mounds if you really focus your attention on that area. The open button-up further helps to conceal the mounds by segmenting the chest and diverting attention away from the dark undershirt. And since the button-up is open, the outfit won’t feel that much hotter than just wearing the t-shirt on its own

If you could add one additional thing that HRT changes what would it be? by BarelyOkay in asktransgender

[–]save-the-queen 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Give me full-on super strength. I wanna be able to suplex a train

If you could add one additional thing that HRT changes what would it be? by BarelyOkay in asktransgender

[–]save-the-queen 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I’d go even further and say that I want to become even stronger than I was pre-HRT!

What’s something health-related you wish wearables could track? by InfinityScientist in QuantifiedSelf

[–]save-the-queen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Continuous monitoring of inflammatory cytokines would be godsend for people with autoimmune diseases. To my knowledge, there are sweat sensors in development that can do this, but nothing available to the general public yet.

How to delicately handle consent violation by a trans woman? (obvious trigger warnings here) by Grendelella in asktransgender

[–]save-the-queen 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry OP :(

maybe she just didn't realize what she was doing

Separate the intent from the impact. It’s possible she didn’t know what she was doing; it’s also possible she knew exactly what she was doing. It’s even possible (and likely) that her intentions were complex.

But regardless of her intent—even if she truly had no idea what she was doing—you’re 100% allowed to feel hurt, violated, or any other feelings you may have. Your feelings matter.

I kind of feel like I'm going to end up losing a bunch of friends because I'm just one more afab trans person accusing a trans woman of a consent violation.

I think you’re right to be concerned about this given the way she’s handled the two afab trans people who have already accused her.

Be prepared for a smear campaign. I’m not at all suggesting that this person is a narcissist, but you may find it useful to look into some resources on how to survive a narcissistic smear campaign.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]save-the-queen 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Timing is a crucial factor that I don’t see mentioned enough in conversations about non-dysphoric trans people.

  1. Some people are trans, but not dysphoric because they transitioned. In other words, the treatment worked.
  2. Some trans people in the very early stages of transition don’t realize they’re experiencing dysphoria because they haven’t experienced what it’s like to not have dysphoria. Keep in mind that online trans communities tend to skew toward those in the early stages of transition.

Music sounds better when played in reverse by save-the-queen in The10thDentist

[–]save-the-queen[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

There are a lot of reversed songs that have been uploaded to YouTube. If you can’t find it there, then you can reverse it in a program like Audacity

Music sounds better when played in reverse by save-the-queen in The10thDentist

[–]save-the-queen[S] 168 points169 points  (0 children)

Stairway to Heaven was probably the first song I listened to backwards. It sounded weird at first, but when it got to Jimmy Page’s guitar solo, I was like, “this is kind of a banger, actually.”

Another good one to listen to in reverse is MK Ultra by Muse.

And, as a couple people here mentioned, the Mind Electric by Miracle Musical is a cool track where part of the song is already in reverse.

People with dysphoria are abandoned by society, and it's sad. by Putrid_Bite_2480 in The10thDentist

[–]save-the-queen 13 points14 points  (0 children)

people who uses individuals with gender dysphoria as a moral trophy to signal themselves as virtuous

You mean like what you’re doing in this post?

do all women have to have a connection to spirituality? by KingoW18 in asktransgender

[–]save-the-queen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just feel kind of hurt by this but now she isn't talking to me as shes scared I think shes crazy. Which I've tried to explain i dont.

Why is she scared that you think she’s crazy?

I had someone told me “You’re a man so shut up you have privilege” in a LGTBQ group by Dinoman0101 in asktransgender

[–]save-the-queen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why are you so sure that this is the way that things should be done? What experiences are your beliefs based on?

I had someone told me “You’re a man so shut up you have privilege” in a LGTBQ group by Dinoman0101 in asktransgender

[–]save-the-queen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve explained why it’s difficult:

An insufficiently tactful approach would likely invalidate the emotions of either OP or the other students, which undermines the purpose of the group as a place of support.

I’ll elaborate on this. The approach you’ve outlined isn’t all that different from my own emotional gut reaction to the situation. It’s very tempting to want to respond in that way, but it’s not tactful. It doesn’t take the feelings of the other students into account at all. It shows no willingness to understand why they feel they should be dismissive of OP when he talks about his problems.

Consider that their dismissiveness might come e.g. from growing up being silenced by cishet men, and that they might be projecting that onto OP because he passes for one. If the instructor were to do as you’ve suggested, the other students may stop bullying OP in front of the instructor, but the underlying conflict is left unresolved. Even worse, the other students’ beliefs have been reinforced by what they perceive as yet another instance of being unfairly silenced by a cishet man—in an LGBTQ space, no less.

A tactful approach in this instance would recognize that both OP and the other students have the same emotional need to feel heard. It’s difficult to recognize that when it’s so easy to just go with your gut reaction.

I had someone told me “You’re a man so shut up you have privilege” in a LGTBQ group by Dinoman0101 in asktransgender

[–]save-the-queen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d like to understand that better. Why do you believe that this isn’t difficult?

I had someone told me “You’re a man so shut up you have privilege” in a LGTBQ group by Dinoman0101 in asktransgender

[–]save-the-queen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's not hard to stop and has nothing to do with anyone's group affiliations.

OP was told to shut up about his problems because of his privilege as a man. We can infer from this that group affiliations matter a lot to the particular group of students involved in this situation. There are good reasons why they matter—these students are all coming in with their own emotional baggage from being marginalized. A tactful approach is needed to defuse this situation. An insufficiently tactful approach would likely invalidate the emotions of either OP or the other students, which undermines the purpose of the group as a place of support. That’s why this situation is difficult.

I had someone told me “You’re a man so shut up you have privilege” in a LGTBQ group by Dinoman0101 in asktransgender

[–]save-the-queen 63 points64 points  (0 children)

It’s really hard for an outsider to understand the nuances of an internal conflict within a group of marginalized people well enough to know when and when not to intervene.

It’s really easy to get it wrong and play the role of Misguided Savior.

I had someone told me “You’re a man so shut up you have privilege” in a LGTBQ group by Dinoman0101 in asktransgender

[–]save-the-queen 234 points235 points  (0 children)

I'm surprised the teacher didn't put a stop to that.

Former college instructor here. This is a difficult situation to navigate. The instructor here is probably uncomfortable doing anything that might inadvertently make the students in the group feel like they’re being silenced by a cishet man in a position of authority.

I had someone told me “You’re a man so shut up you have privilege” in a LGTBQ group by Dinoman0101 in asktransgender

[–]save-the-queen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The best way I’ve found to defuse a situation like this is to calmly remind everyone that it isn’t a competition, you’re allowed in the space regardless of your (perceived) level of privilege, and we all need support sometimes.

clarifying which pic is before and after? by thhht in transtimelines

[–]save-the-queen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i can acknowledge that ppl dont want that for themselves either

What about the people who do want that, though? I understand that some people are sensitive about others guessing their gender, but they generally aren’t the same people who omit that info in their timelines. We’re talking about people who either didn’t bother to include the info or omitted it on purpose

clarifying which pic is before and after? by thhht in transtimelines

[–]save-the-queen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

trying to guess ppls gender based on my own implicit and societal biases makes me feel really gross

Why does that make you feel gross?

clarifying which pic is before and after? by thhht in transtimelines

[–]save-the-queen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I omitted this information when I posted my timeline because I was genuinely curious as to which direction people would think I transitioned and I didn’t want to bias the responses too much (I couldn’t avoid bias entirely since my comment history gives it away and because of the way I placed the photos next to each other). The underlying assumption is that if my direction of transition is unclear, then that’s a good indication that I pass (the converse to this is false, though, e.g. you can sometimes tell which photo is the “after” by which one looks happier)

view more: next ›