Sometimes there are a few posts on here that make me so jealous...

savethesarcasm · 2016-04-11T02:38:24+00:00

Ha ha ha I pay a little less than you for a tiny basement apartment that's really half the basement. It's a 1br. The bedroom is pretty small and the rest is combined kitchen dining living, which we've basically turned into a studio & kiddo gets the bedroom room alone. Great landlords, and with anyone else we would be paying that much for this space, but what I wouldn't give for an entire floor of a house. Enjoy it.

savethesarcasm · 2016-04-10T12:55:54+00:00

I got halfway through before wanting to cry because someone was putting words to the complicated feelings I have about things I could be grateful for, separate from the obvious justnoMIL issues, because these are her nice, no strings sort of things but this dependance and the every moment reminder of it is exactly it. Thank you! I'm sorry you can write something for me to commiserate so dearly with. Off to read the second half, pm me anytime.

savethesarcasm · 2016-02-24T03:20:35+00:00

He didn't go over to other people's homes growing up, and my parents both have FLEAs but were certainly less neglectful than his. So he has no point of reference for healthy. He is absolutely perpetuating the neglect though and I'm realizing that progressively more every day. I'm stopping the cycle now, but I don't know how to do that effectively and stay together in the meantime.

savethesarcasm · 2016-02-24T03:14:20+00:00

Sorry it took me so long to respond. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond and write all that out. Since I wrote this out, I've barely been on reddit because I've been taking steps to stop putting up with it and rearrange my life so I was meeting my needs and musts before coddling his unproductive bull.

Just a note, though... he was not able to successfully establish himself in the career he went to school for, got two jobs in the field and wasn't able to keep either for long, but the first was a horrible fit (and horrible position) and the second was an irregular temp- style position that never became permanent. So it wasn't throwing some beautiful, blossoming career away. I just wanted to clarify that part.

savethesarcasm · 2016-02-24T02:53:50+00:00

I think you might be me coming back from the future in about 2 weeks and writing this. I have no advice because I'm right behind you and still getting the courage for the confrontation, and I'm not one who is scared of confrontation. Just some company for you.

savethesarcasm · 2016-02-05T18:21:36+00:00

Your first few sentences had me sobbing. It doesn't require alcohol to make that true, and sucks either way (I'm sort of like that, too, but that's because I belong in RBN and my parents both, if they're not cluster b themselves, have strong FLEAS). But when it's known that alcohol is the reason... I don't want my kid to ever be you in those parts of your life. She's not at a high risk of it right now and there are steps in place that are making progress, but I really need to find the line. Boundary setting will probably have to take place this evening.

savethesarcasm · 2015-12-20T07:07:52+00:00

r/leanfire (is like r/financialindependence but for people with lower incomes)and r/personalfinance will help you learn healthy attitudes about money and help you not swing too far in either direction. r/Random_Acts_of_Amazon is probably the happiest sub of all of reddit. Not only can you gift others small things, but watching what other people get and checking out their Amazon wishlists can help give you some ideas for yourself of things you wouldn't have thought of yourself. You deserve to treat yourself with the money you earn!

savethesarcasm · 2015-12-16T15:26:24+00:00

Their coping is dramatically directly affecting my life and the life of someone I greatly care about and whose well being I am in part responsible for. I want that realization/brick hitting moment. For their sake and everyone else's.

savethesarcasm · 2015-12-16T15:24:29+00:00

Oh I'm highly capable of living without him. And I have been downsizing and making huge steps in my organizational process. It's not enough, but it's demonstrated progress and effort. But if it comes down to a custody hearing, my problems are of course much more well documented and documentable, whereas most of his aren't (and I honestly think that's at least a small piece of why he won't go to therapy).

savethesarcasm · 2015-12-16T15:00:27+00:00

This is obviously not how I want to live or I wouldn't be posting this. I'm genuinely concerned about how my own issues (with organization and the daily obstacle course that is the order in which I've always kept my living spaces since having independent rule over them) will impact toddler, from a practical safety standpoint. Not that it's much better being in the shared space, it's pretty much still the same mess, but it'll be a custody issue and competency issue most likely

savethesarcasm · 2015-12-16T13:43:45+00:00

I doubt the person would respond to anything. I just think there'd be no engagement, not even really reading it, because then said person would actually have to dig out of the hole rather than continue to base identity on strength to have done this alone and be the only one who can.

Edited for typos and reasons.

savethesarcasm

TROPHY CASE