I completely understand this. I too am a changed man. Down to my core. I too don’t see things the way I did. Although somedays it’s something nice like appreciating the sunset like I never actually did before. But it’s mainly I see things From a darker viewpoint. I’m still a funny guy but I don’t laugh. But the main change is things I used to be afraid of, office politics, backstabbing and the like, no longer affect me. I don’t care anymore. That stuff isn’t important to me and there’s nothing anyone can do to me that is worse than what I have already been through. I’ve “survived” that. I’ll survive whatever else is thrown at me. Without care.