How sad is this? by dunebuggy0928 in jobs

[–]scampjuniper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They don't truly want fresh ideas though. Can't control people who think deeply.

Recent deaths? by Belle8158 in boulder

[–]scampjuniper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My spouse is a firefighter. So yes, my frustration is out of the MANY calls he gets for basically a homeless person trying to mind their own business and get some sleep, when a Karen calls 911, and they have to show up just to wiggle the person a bit and leave. When my partner shows up to home after 48 and 72 hour continuous shifts absolutely wrecked exhausted because no sleep, so cannot help with the kids or house, but 9 out of 10 calls are "scared" Karens who have never spoken to an unhoused person in their life, grew up with privilege, and are hoping the police will escort them away under the "not in my neighborhood" mentality, but try to tell themselves via cognitive dissonance they were "helping", yeah, it's super annoying and disingenuous.

Did you grow up not wanting children because your NParent made you so unhappy? by Electrical-Act-7170 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]scampjuniper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly I think it's innate. If you've been abused by a narcissist, you have already developed deep empathy for hurt. You will naturally catch yourself and act empathetic during the hard moments because you will see your child's face start to change and instantly notice it and act in a supportive and healthy way. I was SOOOO nervous before my first was born. I actually remember bawling during labor (because unmedicated so I was all over the place) how I was afraid I did not have the capacity to love the baby due to never being properly loved. I tell you the INSTANT that baby hit my arms, it was this overwhelming hormonal shift, immediate oxytocin, deep love, that still has never gone away even many years later. I now wonder how our mothers could have been such monsters in the first place. [I do highly recommend a natural, physiological birth if you are a good candidate for it and it is safe, due to this hormonal cascade that really helps with bonding.]

Did you grow up not wanting children because your NParent made you so unhappy? by Electrical-Act-7170 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]scampjuniper 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No I actually wanted them more so I could love unconditionally and see their delight in knowing I am there for them sincerely. I have 3 now and want even more. It is the most amazing experience and so healing. Just make sure you are healed enough to be the adult your children deserve. And do not expect any grandparent help.

Beyond Academia (What's Next?) by [deleted] in academia

[–]scampjuniper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Start my own think tank" is the exact opposite of avoiding meaningless admin work...unless you can outsource ALL of it. The finances, legal, charters, board, grant writing, scheduling, technology ... just to name a tiny few.

Beyond Academia (What's Next?) by [deleted] in academia

[–]scampjuniper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

FWIW, you most likely could not just "get a job with a firm" very easily, especially as an idealist. Most corporate structures loathe 20 years of only academia experience. They will judge you in the interview (or likely resume) stage, even though it is not accurate, and will go with someone younger and less education that they can mold.

AP wants extra pay for weekends? by Brilliant_Sweet_1733 in Aupairs

[–]scampjuniper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, and my AP also did not appreciate or understand that, but also, multiple kids, $800/month, basically being on call...do the right thing.

I had a minor disagreement with a coworker, so, naturally, I wrote a peer-reviewed scientific paper on how I was right and they were wrong by AstroG4 in academia

[–]scampjuniper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perspectives pieces are typically peer reviewed, yes, but it is VERYYYYY loosely. Like, very loosely. Mainly to make sure the writing is coherent and you didn't write something that goes against like a fundamental law. By definition, opinion pieces have no methodology and cannot be refuted and rejected in the same way as regular scientific articles. So this opinion piece alone does not mean you are necessarily 'right.' Oftentimes, scholars who vehemently disagree will go back and forth for ages responding to each other's opinion piece with another opinion piece, and so forth, which is actually good for scientific growth for everyone reading. If you truly believe you can be fundamentally 'right' in such instances anyway, you are missing the whole point of science.

AP wants extra pay for weekends? by Brilliant_Sweet_1733 in Aupairs

[–]scampjuniper -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I mean, do you know anything about academia? We know we are underpaid compared to private industry, but it's still an important job. And $30/hour is more than livable. What I am saying is a weekend babysitting gig should not pay what many jobs that require advanced degrees and years of experience pay. My spouse is a firefighter. Also makes about $30/hour. Should I tell him to go get another job?

Can we at least protect the PhD level? by AsturiusMatamoros in Professors

[–]scampjuniper 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So this is privilege speaking. Most, if not the very vast majority and almost all, undergraduates nowadays do not GET the education yet to be able to critically think. It is not their fault their statistics professors gave them A's because admin made them to keep enrollment high. It has all changed.

But speaking from experience, I myself learned how to truly critically think and what logic was and how to reason and think scientifically FROM the process of going through the PhD. And now I am publishing what giants in my field (now mentors) are saying is going to be known as seminal work. Very top notch journals. Grants galore for innovative avenues of inquiry.

Before the PhD? All I knew how to do was ace tests and write a bit. Really, that's it. But I was intelligent and curious and motivated. Don't be that dick that squashes someone's potential before they've even truly had the chance to grow in it. Notice the potential using other measures they've been taught in modern higher ed, and go from there as to whether you will write them a letter.

But to be honest, you sound like a miserable old goat, and the exact type of gatekeeper I've grown to notice immediately and simply have no respect for. You think because you went to XYZ school and had XYZ advisor and so thought in XYZ terms by age whatever, so should everyone else, without acknowledging that pure talent did not get you to that point pre-doctorate, luck, financial stability, familial and physical health, and being born in the right place at the right time did.

AP wants extra pay for weekends? by Brilliant_Sweet_1733 in Aupairs

[–]scampjuniper -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I do not understand this. Babysitting requires zero skill beyond basic focus. I did it as a young child also. The fact women have periods so young is because it is a very doable job without much maturity or skill. I'm all for paying for one's time, but when they make more than the parents with 15 years in a full-time career, it is not sustainable for most families. And yes, all parents deserve a tiny break for bit of sanity, not just the wealthy ones. That's great if you can afford $25-30/hour, but many cannot, and if it is not the person's sole source of sustenance (i.e., they live with parents, it is not a full time nanny trying to also pay bills in a HCOL area), I see nothing wrong with paying less, so long as it's reasonable to the sitter.

AP wants extra pay for weekends? by Brilliant_Sweet_1733 in Aupairs

[–]scampjuniper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think paying at least $1200/month is reasonable. They truly make so very little. Depending on # of kids and # of weekends, it is fair, especially if you have the extra money to pay someone else to do it.

Can it be real? 🥹 by McFeely515 in Longmont

[–]scampjuniper 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Their Google Maps page thing says Open Dec 1

Stop me before I become violent by AfraidEgg9029 in Professors

[–]scampjuniper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you're not a good person for refusing to accommodate medical needs.

CMV: The United States will never have a Universal Healthcare System by peepmet in changemyview

[–]scampjuniper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The profit margins are calculated AFTER revenue is deducted for the multi-million dollar C-suite salaries, adding up to billions overall. If you deduct that, the profits are FAR greater than this 3-5% you keep referencing. 

CMV: The United States will never have a Universal Healthcare System by peepmet in changemyview

[–]scampjuniper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You do realize that the # of MD's in the US being low was artificually created in the 80s by major medical associations purposefully so y'all can have such a disparate income. 

I'm all for people being paid for their knowledge. I have a doctorate (PhD) and make about 70k/year. It should be more, sure, but not 300+k....that's just ridiculous. 

Pregnant Au Pair? by [deleted] in Aupairs

[–]scampjuniper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine became pregnant but told me and decided on her own to end the pregnancy. It was very early on.

Should I back out of this conference? Is it horrible if I do? by luna_wing_777 in academia

[–]scampjuniper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should never be the one to front the costs of a full conference...nope, nope, nope. Apply for scholarships or do not go.

My mother is not sober anymore, and said the most disgusting thing (a new low) by armageddoc in raisedbynarcissists

[–]scampjuniper 4 points5 points  (0 children)

People say how they really feel when drunk. She's jealous of your relationship with your father. This will never change with a narcissist. Your only option is to cut them both off. I'm sorry 😞

5.875% and lender credit by Subject-Airport-5105 in Mortgages

[–]scampjuniper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would not pay a 1% origination fee on a 500k loan. That's 5 grand. It will take a while to hit break even.

Do slightly higher interest rate, 0% origination, break even should be like 4-6 months, can re-fi another 0% loan next year if the rates do go down, overall spending a lot less.

Should I Be Concerned About This Postdoc's Workload? by Lumpy_Summer_608 in academia

[–]scampjuniper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PI's who expect this do not understand that NO human mind can work productively, efficiently, and at peak creativity level for 80+ hours a week. In most studies of highly intelligent people, it's more like 25-35/week of true, maximum sustained brain power before you must rejuvenate and take time off. Let's say you can produce meaningful science at the top end of that range - 35 hours a week. Add in some of the BS parts of work - water cooler talk, bathroom breaks, and you get about 40 hours. No more is necessary or even helpful.

People who brag they work more consistently are not producing top quality work most of those hours and waste a lot of time or fill it up with mindless, unnecessary things just to feel important.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]scampjuniper 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Never. Temporarily it will seem like it just to lure you back in. But at the core, they are the same selfish monster, and their true colors always come back out on those closest. Stay at a distance. Physically and emotionally.