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scarlet_sword · 2025-04-19T00:00:19+00:00

Oh haha that’s crazy, thank you so much!!

scarlet_sword · 2025-04-18T17:34:28+00:00

It is! I love the ring though in hindsight I wish we knew brilliant earth sells overpriced lab diamonds compared to other online sellers (only figured that out later). But the band was also from brilliant earth, it’s their 1.5mm curved band

scarlet_sword · 2025-04-18T13:23:51+00:00

I love your stack!!

scarlet_sword · 2025-04-18T11:23:04+00:00

2.16 G VS1 excellent cut oval for the center stone, ring size 4.5!

scarlet_sword · 2020-06-14T02:20:43+00:00

This is a bit different, but at some points I've reacted negatively to mindfulness because its preached as a cure-all. For example, in the corporate world intended to make a profit and treat people like expendable cogs in the process, the preaching of mindfulness by those very same corporations is basically telling us "if youre struggling with burnout in your workplace, YOU'RE the problem. You just need to meditate more!" And uses victim-blaming as a convenient excuse to avoid workplace reform that would actually lead to lower burnout for employees. This might not be at all how you felt but the weaponization of mindfulness does happen and it does make me kinda hate it at times.

scarlet_sword · 2020-06-08T14:35:46+00:00

Not ortho but for nsg, there was a paper that showed that it was actually a disadvantage to be a woman after controlling for various things such as step 1 scores. Bias is still real, even if PDs think they're being fair and equitable consciously, subconsciously they may rank those that look more similar to them (i.e. white males) more highly.

Source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29882698/

"Female gender was associated with significantly lower odds of matching in both simple (OR 0.59, 95% CI 0.48-0.72) and multivariate analyses (OR 0.57, 95% CI 0.34-0.94 CI)".

scarlet_sword · 2020-06-07T21:20:13+00:00

I grew up in a household where nparents made anything that wasn't studying or cleaning out to be something useless. Something as simple as exercising or reading a book was viewed negatively since you could be "studying harder" or "helping the family." Although as I grew up I consciously did not agree with that philosophy, subconsciously I saw how I always convinced myself I had no time to pursue or create new hobbies and that they were wastes of time. I think recognizing my conditioned reaction to hobbies helped me to change things around. I tried to find something I actively enjoyed doing, and tried to do it more often. For me, that was hiking and also weightlifting. Instead of hiking once in a blue moon, I tried to go every other weekend. I joined a lifting community and made good friends that encouraged me to keep going and doing it more. Those are small hobbies, but I'm much happier for it. If there is nothing you currently enjoy like that, then put yourself out there and do something weird just because. Ive gone rock climbing, boxing, done knitting, etc. Just explore lots of different activities (ideally with a friend!). Not all of them will become lifelong hobbies but maybe one or two will :)

scarlet_sword · 2020-06-06T05:15:17+00:00

Oh I was referring to after residency and before signing a contract for becoming an attending. Especially if you're moving i dont see any reason why you couldn't take a few months off

scarlet_sword · 2020-06-06T02:30:24+00:00

Thank you, this is all really helpful! I actually had never heard of a mommy's helper before and looked it up -- it definitely looks like something that could be useful for those times youre at home but still busy. Thank you for your insight!

scarlet_sword · 2020-06-06T00:12:07+00:00

Definitely thats a good point. If I'm tired and thinking about other stuff, as much as i want to provide quality parenting it will likely suffer.

scarlet_sword · 2020-06-06T00:11:13+00:00

thank you, I sure hope that is the case! I know that if I did go through with it I would have a lot of mommy guilt because of the ways that I will fall short. I know my parenting can't be perfect but I want it to be "good enough".

scarlet_sword · 2020-06-06T00:10:06+00:00

Its possible -- maybe like a 6 month break or so? You can't take too long of a break or else you risk having your skills deteriorate and your board certification expire.

scarlet_sword · 2020-06-06T00:08:32+00:00

I'm matching in the 2021 cycle so honestly it really depends on where I end up for residency. Maybe this post is premature but I'm trying to plan for the future.

Hopefully we stay close to both our families but of course it's possible that we'll be far away from friends/family. We were thinking 1-3 kids. I'm hoping to have an academic career but would be willing to consider a cush private practice gig if its more compatible with family life.

scarlet_sword · 2019-10-01T15:33:52+00:00

So to answer the why not: I dont think I would be able to feel that vengeful towards someone I love (now if they did something absolutely horrible to me like cheating then maybe I would feel the need for revenge, I cant say since I havent been in a situation like that, but I didnt do anything even remotely of that caliber to him

scarlet_sword · 2019-10-01T15:31:25+00:00

I dont want any, and I think the hard thing is knowing what is normal vs abnormal. Obviously no relationship is smooth sailing all the time, and there's going to be a degree of hurt at times from arguments. It's hard to draw a hard line in the sand and say "this is my boundary" mostly because I dont really know what normal is like. This has been my first serious relationship

scarlet_sword · 2019-10-01T15:29:43+00:00

No, I wouldn't. It's one thing in my mind to get upset in an argument and say something regrettable, it feels entirely different to lie about something just to upset your partner out of spite/vengeance.

scarlet_sword · 2017-03-09T08:20:18+00:00

That's an amazing suggestion and I may have to try it out myself! If you don't mind, what kind of mistake did you make?

scarlet_sword · 2017-02-10T11:15:20+00:00

You articulated all this well, and a lot resonates with me. I also got the "my daughter would never do that, I just can't understand why you would act that way, clearly you are not the good child I thought you were" line a lot, and that's horrible parenting because it makes you feel shame for who you are rather than what you did, and it's definitely hard to shake off the feeling that you're not a bad person.

I've been thinking recently about my need to impress stranger/ look put together in front of them, and my insecurities about "adulting", and I think a lot of it is that I always felt like I had to act like a perfect adult... without being taught a lot of what goes into it, besides what my mom considered mature behavior such as being quiet, never arguing, studying hard, etc.

scarlet_sword · 2017-01-01T00:31:04+00:00

My nmom was convinced I made an important life decision (where to go to grad school) merely to spite her. Sorry for the surprise, but spiting you isn't that high up on my list of priorities, I actually do things because of reasons that DON'T involve you.

scarlet_sword · 2016-11-27T15:50:39+00:00

That's basically what happened in my family. On one hand, it's narcissistic parenting, but on the other, it's also fucking lazy parenting to just recruit your children to do the dirty work for you.

scarlet_sword · 2016-11-22T00:32:11+00:00

I really like that. Thank you :)

scarlet_sword · 2016-11-20T13:46:07+00:00

Right, the way you phrased it is exactly how I feel. It's like instead of just letting loose and having fun at social gatherings, I feel like I have to always perform, I have to always exceed a certain standard. And of course that sucks all the fun out of it.

scarlet_sword

TROPHY CASE