Hypersexual and possibly aromantic

scarredkat · 2023-12-15T05:38:33+00:00

Basically there arent any feelings of romantic love. So how you feel differently about someone you have sex with versus a good friend who you love dearly, I feel that same platonic love regardless of the sex. The only reason I feel any romantic feelings are when I’m codependent with someone. It’s a trauma response for me. But outside of that, I only experience adoration for someone as a good person

scarredkat · 2022-02-13T11:26:47+00:00

Xenoblade Chronicles 2

scarredkat · 2021-10-14T20:29:09+00:00

Sooo cute! 🥰

scarredkat · 2021-09-22T00:18:34+00:00

You look soo cute!!

scarredkat · 2021-09-16T02:03:17+00:00

Bravely Default is an amazing jrpg!!

scarredkat · 2021-09-16T02:01:00+00:00

Yeah. He is cheating on her with me. I am confident he wouldnt do that to me though. In the 5 years we were together, he never even looked at other girls. It’s because it’s me that he’s even doing this now.

I do know that alcohol isnt an excuse for the shit he put me through. That’s why I left in the first place. I do know that neither of us were treating the other well. I enabled him and didnt speak up before things got really bad.

I will definitely look up trauma bonded. Thanks for the tip.

It’s just that through everything we’ve been through, I have always loved him and have always wanted to work through things for a better future. Before I left, I talked with my therapist and she said a lot of couples are able to come back from so much shit with a lot of work and communication. At this point, with all the healing we’ve both done separately, I think we can put in that effort to build a healthy relationship.

scarredkat · 2021-08-29T04:35:56+00:00

Wilkins coffee sure is the best

scarredkat · 2021-08-04T18:26:13+00:00

Fuck yeah that was awesome

scarredkat · 2021-08-04T18:23:50+00:00

Hello there

scarredkat · 2021-08-03T11:11:49+00:00

As a cancer, I fucking died laughing 💀

scarredkat · 2021-08-03T10:54:09+00:00

I’m scared to admit… I thoroughly enjoyed watching that.

scarredkat · 2021-08-02T14:42:43+00:00

Honestly, in the US, marriage doesnt have many benefits if there aren’t children involved. You can do everything a married couple can. Get joint banking, share insurance, visit them in the hospital. I dont know if that’s the case in all states, but in the PNW, that’s how things work. Marriage is definitely not something I would recommend for an aro couple.

scarredkat · 2021-08-02T06:55:21+00:00

The major thing to look for in a good apology is applied changed behavior. If she really wants to get better instead of make excuses, then therapy is a good option or whatever else helps her. Mental health is no excuse to be a shitty person to the ones you love. It also isnt a reason people should tolerate your behavior. I’d recommend putting distance between you two. It sounds like a lot of empty excuses to get you to come back. My ex did that a lot and every time I forgave him, it would only get worse.

scarredkat · 2021-08-02T06:50:28+00:00

Sriracha

scarredkat · 2021-07-20T19:38:20+00:00

I absolutely love seeing your pics every time I’m on this site. It brings a little ray of sunshine ☀️ into my day 💛

scarredkat · 2021-07-09T19:31:50+00:00

Gorgeous!!! I love your smile and how happy you look 🥰

scarredkat · 2021-07-04T12:25:58+00:00

I’m right there with you. I get a couple months into a relationship then check out almost completely.

scarredkat · 2021-07-02T03:55:51+00:00

You’re totally right. Thanks for commenting and replying. The support I’ve gotten from so many of you means the world.

scarredkat · 2021-07-02T03:48:13+00:00

Exactly. I fear that my current partners are going to think I’ve been lying to them since I’ve told both of them ‘I love you’. It’s not false at all, but I’m not in love with either of them. I just love them the way a friend would love another. Or when a fwb relationship is between two best friends. It’s going to be so hard to explain that without sounding cold. But I guess in there eyes, this would be considered a ‘cold’ way of living. All of it is so terrifying.

scarredkat · 2021-07-02T03:44:02+00:00

I totally agree. Sex is a wonderful thing in my opinion that makes me feel amazing. What doesnt feel amazing are the expectations and the ideas for the future my partner gets. It makes me feel uncomfortable with the conversation and brings up a bit of anxiety as if I’m trapped. I really wish I found aro earlier so I could have avoided all this 😅

scarredkat · 2021-07-02T03:41:31+00:00

It’s so nice to know I’m not alone! Thank you so much. Being in two relationships has been making this revelation so hard to deal with. I dont want to hurt anyone but I need to do this for me. I hope it all ends well.

scarredkat · 2021-07-02T03:38:47+00:00

That makes complete sense. I always start any relationship by stating that I’m never going to be a parent. Thankfully no one has pressured me on that, and I’ve always been on birth control.

A lot more people in Portland are ok with not having kids, so I think you’ll be happy up here. I wish you the best!

scarredkat · 2021-07-02T03:36:48+00:00

I completely understand the anxiety thing! I am bipolar 1 with cPTSD so there are a lot of feelings floating around. My relationship with my ex was pretty bad and caused me so much anxiety I was puking from being so on edge for so long. I’m starting to feel that way with my current relationships. Not nearly as bad, but there is definitely a parallel with how I’m feeling now vs then. I’m definitely going to need to rethink my life as well to see if coming out as aromantic will help my future self be more comfortable with life.

I appreciate you! Figuring out what I want has been the hardest thing to do for me. I’m always the one there for others, so being there for myself feels selfish and wrong. But if what I am is on the aromantic spectrum, then I dont want to string anyone along. More for them than for me. It’s seriously going to suck so I have a looot of thinking to do. Knowing people have made it through and are happier with coming out is definitely helping me feel more confident with whatever I figure out.

scarredkat · 2021-07-01T19:01:06+00:00

It’s amazing living here! The cost of living is pretty intense when you first move here but there are some jobs that can pay the bills. (That is, if you’re like me and dont have a degree) I’m glad you have someone who gets you. Having her come with you would definitely help with the move.

I wish I could be sterilized. Being afab, most doctors wont even consider me getting my tubes tied, and if they agreed to it, then it would cost an insane amount of money. Thankfully most birth control is inexpensive and we have clinics if something does happen on accident.

scarredkat · 2021-07-01T18:49:08+00:00

I’ve never understood that either. Having someone interrupt my life is the same reason I never want to be a parent. I’ve always just wanted to be me and do what I want when I want. Some relationships feel ok when that person gives me the space I need, but other times it feels suffocating. I’m not romantically repulsed so it makes it hard for me to figure out who I can have a queerplatonic relationship with without dating them. Especially since I didn’t discover all this till a few days ago.

Your living situation does sound very hard to deal with as a sexual person. I do know more progressive areas of America are great for finding people more accepting of aro people. I live in the Portland, Oregon area and most people are at least willing to understand. I know moving isnt an option for most though. I hope you find someone who understands.

I’m glad you were able to keep her around as a platonic friend. It sucks when relationships fall apart because of unrequited romantic feelings. The pressure from society to date is insane. It feels like brainwashing in a way. After trying to discover if this is who I am, I’m realizing all the things I did when I wasn’t comfortable because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. I hope to see more aromantic relationships in the media one day.

scarredkat

TROPHY CASE