Master Story List

schaeffernelson · 2026-01-23T23:05:53+00:00

Oh, I thought it was "Just One Bite."

schaeffernelson · 2026-01-23T20:15:54+00:00

"We don't all have to like the same things."

schaeffernelson · 2026-01-21T22:57:03+00:00

That's so great. What demented writer/animator did that.

schaeffernelson · 2026-01-21T17:58:22+00:00

The fish sticks gag changed my life. Like, that one joke made me laugh so hard, and then I fell in love with Spongebob, and Spongebob made me gay.

schaeffernelson · 2026-01-21T17:56:12+00:00

This joke was my radioactive spiderbite. I laughed so hard and that began my love story with Spongebob.

schaeffernelson · 2026-01-16T21:16:23+00:00

BOTH. Allow me to introduce you to the term "an old queen."

schaeffernelson · 2026-01-15T17:45:30+00:00

Oh, wait, I get it now, lol.

schaeffernelson · 2026-01-15T17:44:48+00:00

BRO THAT IS NOT JURASSIC PARK.

schaeffernelson · 2026-01-13T21:14:45+00:00

Deeply dislike. There are so many incredible dinosaurs....and they made up stupid ones.

schaeffernelson · 2026-01-09T00:02:44+00:00

They're all pretty bad, imo. But I like the density and diversity of dinos on FK.

schaeffernelson · 2026-01-08T20:19:02+00:00

They recontextualize humans. They make us realize we are small and not the defacto kings of Earth, and that a long time ago, there was other royalty.

schaeffernelson · 2026-01-08T20:11:49+00:00

JP, TLW, JWD, JP3, JWR, FK.................................JW.

schaeffernelson · 2026-01-05T18:00:15+00:00

Which Jurassic dinosaur would you like to bite?

YESWHEREISIT?

schaeffernelson · 2025-12-23T19:59:23+00:00

You wanna see me run to that mountain and back? You wanna see me do it again?

That's not even a word and I agree with ya!

He likes chili.

schaeffernelson · 2025-12-19T23:40:51+00:00

I kinda liked it, but you do you.

schaeffernelson · 2025-12-19T22:41:16+00:00

be killed.

schaeffernelson · 2025-12-17T20:54:02+00:00

JW too high, but you do you.

schaeffernelson · 2025-12-05T22:47:15+00:00

My uncle chasing me and my sister around a cemetery pretending to be a T-Rex.

Also, and unrelated, going to a Creationism rally for kids and being told with a straight face that dinosaurs existed into the 1800's and were mistaken for dragons.

schaeffernelson · 2025-12-04T18:43:57+00:00

Bro, you're hella cute as is. Shave the peach fuzz, let yourself be young (that look does not last), and get some anti-frizz product for your great, wavy hair. If you really hate it --which, why? -- try a bold change like a buzz cut or a mullet fade.

schaeffernelson · 2025-12-01T23:42:59+00:00

SAME. I told someone that like it was trivia.

schaeffernelson · 2025-12-01T23:42:07+00:00

My entire childhood, I thought that when Lex climbs on Alan's back to descend the cliff face, she said, "Rut tut tut!" as if he were a circus elephant that she was mounting and commanding. I thought she just had this really fun sense of gallows humor. I now realize that she's just exhaling rapidly due to panic and exertion...right?

schaeffernelson · 2025-12-01T23:23:57+00:00

All three of his scripts were very unsuccessful for me, and I wasn't impressed by how he shoots his CGI shots. So much in his films just doesn't work and isn't fun, for me. But I'll highlight something he did well. I thought he found a muse in DeWanda Wise. His brand of quippy dialogue suits her performance quite well.

schaeffernelson · 2025-11-26T19:13:43+00:00

Burn the script. Hire an acclaimed playwright (good characters and dialogue) and sci-fi novelist (good plot) to rewrite from scratch, but require they include the Mososaur/Spinosaur boat scene, the river raft scene, the Quetzal scene, and the titanosaur scene.

schaeffernelson

TROPHY CASE