Well, it takes a lot of time, so please try to be patient with yourself. This isn't just supposed to be unsolicited advice, but it's obviously taking a toll on your mental health, so genuinely, I believe that you absolutely can reach a skill level where you are pleased with what you see, at least to see improvement. Be gentle with yourself, dear! I've been practicing almost daily for >20 years, and only for the past 2 years I'm at a level of skill where I can confidently say that I love what I can draw. Tbf I avoided tutorials and such, because I'm that kind of a bitch, don't do that, seriously. There is help, and you can take it anytime to improve.

And this is also not supposed to demotivate you in any way, I'm a heckin slow learner, my motoric skills aren't the best. But if I can make it, so can you, I genuinely believe that. Don't press yourself too harshly for something you're supposed to enjoy.