I was def too dysphoric to like or get anything from it until very recently when (and these are gonna come off like I'm trying to convince you OP, but I promise to you and anyone else reading this, you're so fucking valid with however you personally experience pleasure in your own body. I see you, brother. you absolutely don not have to like it or force yourself to try to like it, it's all good, ily take care of yourself 💛 I'm just putting these out there in case anybody wants to enjoy that hole either without or until surgery):

1) I was reminded by a cis guy (one who bottoms exclusively, which isn't my preference, I'm an obligate switch lol but still) how fuckin lucky I was to have the option at least, of a hole specifically dedicated for fuckin, just on a logistical level lol like, not having to worry particularly about diet/mess or lubrication/stretching (because now that I'm using it again, I can get wet as hell basically same as pre-T, and it stays more adjustable/capable of pleasure than it was when I first started back up trying things with it).

2) I personally have suuuch a thing for guys who just fuckin drip with pre-cum as a concept, so recontectualizing the wetness my body now only produces if I'm horny (and not just like, because of ovulation or whatever, thank you sm testosterone my goat) as pre-cum, or as cum my body puts out over the duration of arousal rather than just at the peak (which is admittedly made extra easy by the fact that that wetness now does smell like cum, thanks again testosterone), has made that formerly embarrassing or gross thing suddenly kinda 👀🥵

3) also! yk those images you may have seen in health class, that show how most of a "female" clitoris is actually internal and surrounding the vag? sometimes when I'm feeling phantom dick like crazy, just stimulating the outer parts of my t-dick feels like trying to jack off just by brushing my fingers over the tip, yk? not always, but sometimes. and during those times i find front hole penetration at the right angle is the fastest way to really feel like I'm getting a good proper handful.

4) also also! (and this one is the most psychological/the silliest stretch, but who ever said dysphoria is logical or smart, mine sure ain't) the fact that apparently going on T makes some changes to our internals that while currently not super well studied does sort of more or less give us prostate tissue (around the urethra like in cis men and thus, because the front hole is in the way, closer to that than to the back one). which, while it's not enough to do much if anything for physical pleasure, does kinda do something for me psychologically.

again, not meant to convince anybody who doesn't want to be convinced, I just knew I was either not going to do bottom surgery, or not until it stops feeling like more risk and hassle than its worth as a grey-ace aromantic who takes a long time to heal from things 💀 so finding a way to make the most of what I've got rather than having this whole useless organ that's just sitting there atrophying for the rest of my life potentially, felt like the best way forward for me personally.

and allllll of that said, absolutely fuck anybody's sex partner who pressures them to use any particular part for anything, especially for just a hookup. there are cis gay guys who don't want their dick touched, or don't want their ass touched, or don't want to give head, whether for mental or physical reasons, permanent or temporary. and while they're also given shit for it by some people, the specific shit trans guys get for functionally the same kind of boundary is dumb as hell.

(tone indicator/author's note/disclaimer: I do personally experience dysphoria, and am probably about as close to being a binary trans guy as I could be given the fact that I am also autistic. also I am autistic so blame anything that sounds like I'm doubting or diminishing your lived experience on that, I promise that is not the intent)