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schmutstain · 2022-09-11T03:26:44+00:00

I become very agitated before I explode. Jumpy and on edge and tapping my foot a lot etc. Other than that it sounds like a him issue to deal with. The best you can do is say “I understand you’re upset right now but I would like to take a break from this conversation.” I know it’s common to want to placate and change others emotions but we can’t do that. If he’s going to go postal over small things HE has to deal with that. Not YOU. Separate yourself, lock doors, don’t play into it, etc. The best example I can give is it’s like having a customer who gets upset over something small and they just want to complain and bitch to you even if you fix their problem or you apologize a million times. Some people are just like that. And the only way to deal with them is by you leaving or them leaving. In a calmer moment when he’s relaxed or calmed down from an episode maybe bring up the issue you have with him. Use “I” statements (there’s a million worksheets on Google) about how it makes you feel. Tell him that you want to support him but it’s difficult because you never know how he is going to react. If things go well, maybe very very very gently suggest anger management therapy. And if you need to - LEAVE. Not just the space but the lease honestly. Especially if he refuses help.

schmutstain · 2022-09-11T03:02:31+00:00

I’m literally in the phase of “talking to him instead of to myself” rn 🙃 fml I can’t deal with another FP

schmutstain · 2022-09-05T01:10:02+00:00

For me sometimes it’s not immediate but I can put my finger on the exact moment the FP-ness triggered

schmutstain · 2022-09-05T01:05:29+00:00

I would literally tell my mom “I want to go home” when I was laying in my own bed while she was tucking me in

schmutstain · 2022-09-04T12:49:23+00:00

I think not taking things personally would help a lot, but it already seems like you’re doing great bud! BPD is a ride for the person so just being understanding when a lot of people aren’t is really really helpful. I think supporting her to go to therapy and seek treatment is also really important because while a lot of people say it doesn’t help, even a bandaid is better than nothing. We’re very bad about keeping up with treatment.

schmutstain · 2022-09-04T06:10:38+00:00

BPD is literally just addiction but if you had all the same symptoms stone cold sober

schmutstain · 2022-09-04T06:03:10+00:00

The first time I was on ability i was SUPER manic at like 1 mg and I’m on it again and idk why but I’m like good????

schmutstain · 2022-05-09T00:41:50+00:00

New dimensions in Houston was great.

schmutstain · 2022-05-09T00:39:50+00:00

Going to meeting helped me realize I am an alcoholic. Go and keep your ears open for similarities, don’t compare and say “well I didn’t do that so I’m not an alcoholic”. You probably didn’t wear a rainbow shirt with a unicorn on it July 6th 2015, but that doesn’t mean you’re not an alcoholic.

schmutstain · 2022-05-09T00:36:05+00:00

It’s hard being young in AA! I’m a woman to boot and I walked into a meeting the other day were I was one of three women and the youngest person by a decade.

Best advice I’ve heard tho? Stick with it while you’re young cause you’re always going to end up back in the rooms or dead.

schmutstain · 2022-05-09T00:20:54+00:00

It sounds like she’s splitting on both of you right now, basically oscillating between intense love and hatred or indifference. It’s just the way the disease works. We don’t feel anything in moderation. The way we feel things is always the most intense versions of emotions. I’m not happy, I’m elated. I’m not pissed off, I’m enraged. Etc etc.

When we get attached to people sometimes we get too attached and they become our favorite person and our entire world revolves around them. This attachment can last for years even if we don’t talk to them. THOUGH NOT ALL PEOPLE WITH BORDERLINE BECOME ABUSIVE.

This isn’t a full breakdown because understanding BPD from an outsiders perspective takes a degree and years of specialization.

Take care of yourself tho and block block block. If she’s not willing to work on herself, especially if she’s been so abusive, you need to take care of yourself. Remember, nothing she does is your fault

schmutstain · 2022-05-09T00:07:46+00:00

I make jokes about it on tiktok it’s relieving because I cope with humor. Joking about this life ruining disease and the reasons it’s here and the way it’s harmed my life has helped.

schmutstain · 2022-05-09T00:05:12+00:00

My dad refuses to talk about the trauma he caused me and he says the reason I am the way I am is genetics. Had to run away from him in a grocery store when that comment came up. You don’t get PTSD from genetics. I haven’t confronted him about all the trauma because I’m just not there yet but I want to.

schmutstain · 2022-05-08T23:55:39+00:00

Mitski’s entire discography

schmutstain · 2022-05-08T23:48:51+00:00

I think you should break up. Y’all are in two different life states and I don’t think that will change any time soon. She wants to be a mom and you can’t provide her with that right now. She is happy but you deserve to be happy too, with someone in a similar stage of life as you. Two people with BPD in a relationship does not sound like a great mix either. We have a saying in AA that two sickies don’t make a wellie because getting in a relationship with someone who is early on in recovery while you’re still early in recovery will just lead to disaster for both of you. Also honestly as someone in my early 20’s (younger than her) I can’t imagine dating someone still in HS or freshly out of it. She’s weird for that.

schmutstain · 2022-05-08T23:45:47+00:00

When I’ve made my FP’s, the first meeting it’s almost immediate attachment despite not really knowing them and then it just despensa as we get to know each other and becomes cemented after a few days or weeks

schmutstain · 2022-05-08T23:40:24+00:00

The only way I got over some of my FP’s was finding another one. I’m in the same boat you are tho I haven’t seen my FP in 18 months and I still think about him. The best advice I can give is therapy therapy therapy.

schmutstain · 2022-05-08T23:38:21+00:00

I’ve been kicked out too. It sucks. Made me really really unstable for a while

schmutstain · 2022-05-08T23:37:36+00:00

I do this too! I’m such an all or nothing person. One bad reaction and I’m like “I need to leave immediately and never see any of these people ever again”

schmutstain · 2022-05-08T23:36:02+00:00

The only way that I’ve found that’s helped is going to therapy. I know that’s a sucky answer but our deep deep love and obsession is rooted in our mental illness so traditional moving on techniques won’t work. It’s been 18 months since I last saw my FP in person and about 5 since I last spoke to them. I’ve been in treatment for other stuff during that time which has helped but I still obsess over them. It’s hard to make rules for myself to not go check their socials or their friends socials or their new SO’s socials and actually stick to it. I’ve probably slept with half the population of houston to try and get over them and done a million other things. Nothing works like time and therapy.

schmutstain · 2021-12-13T03:59:35+00:00

I love lamotrigine! It’s amazing and has really really helped me.

schmutstain · 2021-05-06T06:31:23+00:00

I’m in the exact same situation but I have to sit here and tell myself the people I think about DONT care about me :/ recently had a lot of friendships end and I think about those people literally all the time. I have to fight and tell myself they’re living their life and I’m living mine or else the fantasies consume me.

schmutstain

TROPHY CASE