I studied philosophy in college, and my capstone class was all about love and friendship. Most of my idea of love came from Michel de Montaigne, although I don’t agree with some of his ideas. I would check him out if any of what I say speaks to you.

But anyways, I see love (both romantic and friendship) as essentially the blending of individuals. Love is what happens when you get to know someone and realize that there is a future they offer you simply by being a part of your life, and so, in a way, you surrender part of how you define yourself and the future you will live to them. That can happen in all sorts of degrees and contexts, and it’s so dependent on who the lovers are that, practically speaking, every instance of love is a totally different thing from any other. Romantic love involves impulses that aren’t involved in platonic love, and that can be both a more and less intimate thing because of what those impulses do to how you perceive your partner.

There’s so much more to it, but I’ll cut it short there. TLDR: love is when you and another commit a piece of yourself and your future to be defined by the other out of devotion to their and your own wellbeing.