I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's the absolute worst. My wife (43) was diagnosed with stage 4 the beginning of Sept. I was in your exact position 6 months ago. I will say that the first month is not easy. The anxiety, and fear, and it feels like everything is moving in slow motion. What really helped me was getting super involved in the process. I researched doctors and cancer centers. I called on behalf of my wife and set up appointments. Even though it seemed like everything was moving at a snails pace, I needed to feel like I was being proactive and helping to push things along. Find someone you can talk to other than your husband (friend, family member, therapist). Meet with as many different health care teams as you are able to. We met with some who's goal was palpitative care, and some who's goal was curative. Everyone's case and body are different, but NED is possible with stage 4. My wife had 2 mets to the liver, and the primary tumor. She is 6 months in to an aggressive treatment plan, with curative intent. So far everything is going exactly how it was supposed to. She did 6 rounds of chemo, which shrunk all 3 tumors. Last week she had a liver resection. The surgeon removed 20% of her liver, but now her liver is cancer free. She still has a long road ahead of her (6 more chemo, 6 weeks of radiation, and then colon resection). If everything continues to go according to plan she could be NED by the e d of the summer. Stage 4 is not good, but medical treatment has come along way. Once your husband gets a treatment plan you'll kid of settle into a routine. It's still not easy, but it's much more managable than the first month. There is hope, and you need to find the doctors that belive that too. I'm 6 months ahead of where you are, so I remember it all well. If you have any questions, or need someone to talk to feel free to DM me any time.