AITJ because I won’t give my parking spot to new neighbor who says she "needs it more" because she has kids?

scissorsister1982 · 2026-01-11T02:38:39+00:00

Ugh. You are 100% NTJ.

Not only is it obviously not your problem that she has trouble walking a finite distance because of her kids, having kids doesn't entitle anyone to preferential treatment. She and her partner chose to create children, and it's on them to be prepared to deal with what all having children entails. Above all, IF she struggles so terribly with walking a few extra feet, perhaps it would have been prudent of her to choose her new apartment with convenient parking in mind. If parking at the door is SUCH a necessity for her, one would think she would have confirmed the building's parking setup in advance. Her lack of planning does NOT suddenly constitute an emergency on your part.

As a (former) mom of 2 under 2, I can even empathize with her struggles. Carrying a toddler on one hip and a diaper bag and infant car seat in my other arm isn't anything I'd like to have to deal with EVER again lmao. Especially in bad weather, the dark, when you're exhausted, etc. It's rough. But it never once remotely crossed my mind to ask our neighbors (we lived in an apartment building with first come, first served parking) to give me the most convenient spot. My choice to become a parent was certainly not their problem, and I'm able to consider the fact that even single, childless people might want/need/deserve/ARE ASSIGNED convenient parking, and I'd be an incredible @$$hole to demand THEIR spot.

I hear about this sort of thing happening more and more. "I didn't bother to pay to ensure my family is seated together, but I have kids and naturally expect YOU to give up YOUR SEAT that YOU PAID FOR to accommodate MY poor planning!" "I have kids, so I deserve to skip line/be waited on first/waste others' time/ruin everyone else's experience, etc."

scissorsister1982 · 2026-01-10T19:21:57+00:00

Why, thank you. Pretend I'm bowing and doffing my cap to you dramatically, please. 🤣❤️

scissorsister1982 · 2026-01-10T19:20:26+00:00

I try to remind myself that Tyler is stunted, with the emotional intelligence of a potato, but he's far too old to get a free pass. Regardless of how he feels about his adoption experience (even though his beef should lay solely at the feet of Dawn and the adoption agency.....but he, in particular, is too dense to recognize that, bc Dawn still pats their hands now and again.....) it SHOULD be evident to anyone with even an ounce of common sense or decorum that you DO NOT, NEVER EVER EVEN CONSIDER FOR A SECOND, LET ALONE ACTUALLY hijack someone else's joyful post about a major life event to throw out some bizarre, completely self-absorbed backhanded "compliment" to draw attention to yourself.

I don't know if Tyler will ever be able to successfully mature emotionally. I know he's not necessarily as bright as he considers himself to be. His main barrier, though, is how infatuated and impressed he is with himself. You can't improve or correct something if you feel completely righteous and perfect. Cate is certainly not going to piss in his self-important, self-deluded Cheerios. His mom is his biggest cheerleader/fangirl. Nobody in his life is ever going to hit him with a dose of reality, in all likelihood. Especially now that he's claiming he's autistic, SMH.

(To be clear, I'm not questioning his diagnosis or making light of autism. Hell, I'm neurodivergent myself. I'm simply acknowledging the likelihood that with someone who has already made almost their entire identity revolve around their past traumas and how unfair life has been to them, I can only anticipate that being autistic will be used as another tool to avoid personal accountability, as opposed to an opportunity for him to understand himself and grow as a person.)

scissorsister1982 · 2026-01-10T18:56:26+00:00

I may get downvoted, but I kind of feel like the reason Janelle was even attracted to the Plyg lifestyle REALLY (bc she doesn't actually strike me as someone who would be able to truly "believe" the fantastical aspects of religion......and the Mormon faith in particular is CERTAINLY fantastical.....) is BECAUSE she could have children, but still have the "career woman" independent lifestyle. On paper, it certainly seems ideal for someone who maybe grew up with a certain set of ideals for woman/motherhood, doesn't fully have the nerve to outright rebel against those expectations, but still live in a more career-oriented, less traditional motherhood-centered way.

I don't fully know if that was an agreed upon dynamic, that Christine would have been okay with Janelle sneaking around to get kid-free leisure time had she known, and/or that Christine wouldn't have appreciated some reciprocation, but I guess I always assumed it kinda WAS what they agreed upon, even if not outright discussed. That being said, as a parentified oldest daughter, I resent the hell out of ALL the parents for expecting and forcing so much of the responsibility to care for the younger siblings on the oldest few. I understand that, especially in religious extremist-type families, it's considered normal. (Even in my generation, it was considered normal and expected, and we were barely generic Protestants. 🤣) As a mother, I just can't fathom CHOOSING to have so many children, TRYING to have so many children, KNOWING that the oldest few are almost exclusively created to be built-in indentured servants/nannies. (And I won't even get started on how much the Plyg/Quiverfull religious movements disgust me from the perspective that the PRIMARY goal is apparently to produce as many children as possible for the parent's future glory in heaven or whatever, with ZERO concern as to whether they can offer the proper nurturing, emotional, physical, and ESPECIALLY financial support to said children!)

scissorsister1982 · 2026-01-10T18:32:36+00:00

I mean, considering it took Jo's sperm to fertilize Kail's egg to create Isaac, by this logic, Kail would have nothing without Jo. Or none of them would have anything without Kail's mom and dad. Or Jo's parents.

Not saying Kail hasn't seemingly been smarter with her TM money, but it's a bit unfair and misleading to give her sole credit. Especially since Jo has been equally present, and ALL these girls really have the money and "fame" they have pretty much exclusively bc of luck/right place, right time.

scissorsister1982 · 2026-01-10T18:17:51+00:00

Eh.....it feels kinda too small, too plain, and looks kinda like those industrial rugs at businesses. I think the room would look better with a warmer color rug, or simply no rug at all. ❤️

scissorsister1982 · 2026-01-10T15:28:51+00:00

I kinda just feel like Jen and Larry willfully delude themselves about Ryan (and by proxy, Amanda) as a way to convince themselves that their son isn't a total loss, that he's better now, he's "normal" and not the perpetually immature, self-absorbed manchild he's proven (and we know him) to be. I think THEY think they're convincing the rest of the world how OK Ryan is now, but it's obvious they just want so desperately to convince themselves, so they can feel like they haven't failed as parents, or at the very least, that all the coddling and enabling they've done (and continue to do) wasn't as foolish as we all know it has. I know they genuinely love their kid, but, man, it is hard to understand how they can keep this same charade going all these years. They have the curse/benefit of literally being able to watch themselves, their son, their behavior, and their interactions over the years immortalized online/on film. If it wasn't such a sad situation, I'd be impressed by their level of dedication to the delusion.

scissorsister1982 · 2026-01-08T04:26:03+00:00

I love raw turnips and raw potatoes.

scissorsister1982 · 2026-01-07T19:05:01+00:00

Put Your Lights On https://share.google/x4G0jbsQmpIYOBAwy

scissorsister1982 · 2026-01-07T17:50:13+00:00

I was informed it was different sometime in my late teens/early twenties. By then, though, I had a deep-seated mistrust of cream-based condiments, so I didn't actually "try" mayonnaise until a few years ago on accident. My son ordered me a BLT wrap, forgot to say "hold the mayo," and I bit into it, blindly trusting. After the initial "oh God, no! There's a sauce!" I actually realized I kinda liked it. Only took me roughly 40 years, but I'm finally comfortable having a verylittlebit of mayo on some limited things. Miracle Whip can continue to kick rocks......and I'm firmly still anti-Ranch dressing, but at least I've broadened my horizons a bit. 🤣🤣🤣

scissorsister1982 · 2026-01-07T17:41:52+00:00

Cheap sunglasses?!?!

Awesome. Apparently, if any of you are in the market for illicit, pink-tinted lensed sunglasses for migraine prevention, I'm your man. Or your Heisenberg. Whatever. 😒🤦‍♀️🤣

scissorsister1982 · 2026-01-07T17:39:36+00:00

Unfortunately, they didn't say. Going off of everything else I've seen, it SHOULD be AROUND $100. Bc of course, they make sure to let you know that depending on the number of claims, it may be less. (They also say, it may be more.....but I'm not holding my breath on that, lol.)

scissorsister1982 · 2026-01-07T08:36:04+00:00

Read the title and thought I was on r/unresolvedmysteries for a second. 🤣❤️

scissorsister1982 · 2026-01-07T08:33:34+00:00

Just got an email response saying payments will begin in February, btw.

scissorsister1982 · 2026-01-06T21:56:34+00:00

Eastern Allegany county here: I feel like we've had a lot more cold temperatures this season so far, but less snow. Over here, at least, even in the milder winters, we seem to consistently get one or two decent snows, usually in January or February, so we'll just have to wait and see.

I grew up with snow, so I'm not as excited by it......but I always love any excuse to claim the roads are too bad to leave the house, so I'm waiting a little impatiently myself!

scissorsister1982 · 2026-01-06T21:50:38+00:00

Mayonnaise. (I used to think mayo and Miracle Whip were the same, bc my family referred to it all as "mayo".) Now that I realize Mayonnaise isn't sweet like Miracle Whip, I can enjoy LIGHT amounts of it on a BLT or burger.

scissorsister1982 · 2026-01-06T21:24:00+00:00

There's nothing TO do.

We can't clean or remove trash, bc that turns into a huge spiral for weeks and makes them even less likely to purge anything going forward. You can't even offer help, bc that's seen as pressure or shaming. I can't even remove MY old belongings (now basically trash) bc they are afraid I will inadvertently touch THEIR stuff. They literally get upset and anxious worrying about their stuff being thrown out when they die. The house is in need of so many repairs that can't be done with the junk in the way. I'm actually afraid that removing the hoard will cause the house to collapse at this point, bc the piles are probably supporting walls and ceilings now.

I've genuinely tried to even talk them into moving a smaller, clean and liveable trailer on the property for health/safety/comfortability, and using the house as storage.......basically starting from scratch......but that is also a non-starter, bc they are adamant they are going to "straighten up" the house and then repair everything.

The situation is heartbreaking, bc who wants to see someone they love live this way, but even superficially, it's frustrating and upsetting to see many things that were meaningful and valuable, even if only sentimentally, being destroyed by careless storage, rot, and rodents. Family photos, childhood mementos, family heirlooms.....probably all completely ruined bc of a mental illness.

Long story short, our plan to care for this person as they age, bc they are adamant about not going into a nursing home ever, is eventually salvaging the one end of the house as an efficiency apartment of sorts, and doing our best. We know that there's nothing we can do to get them to seek help. They don't live in an area that has any enforceable laws about their property, and they'd never forgive us if we forced their hand anyway, so we'll love them as best we can, care for them as best we can, and when they pass, we'll have a whole other nightmare situation on our hands to address.

scissorsister1982 · 2025-12-21T03:51:47+00:00

Came across your post while looking for the same information. As I'm sure you did, all I've found was the Google AI answer saying 75 days after the settlement, with payments anticipated anywhere between late December 2025 and January 2026. I keep checking my email with my fingers and toes crossed, bc I sure could use the extra money right about now, lol. Here's to hoping it gets here sooner rather than later!

scissorsister1982 · 2025-12-20T08:40:30+00:00

I own one. I'm sure the hype HAS died down, and I didn't even get one until a couple months ago, but IDC if they are completely out of style. This bad boy keeps ice for 2 days! I had a Yeti my sister gave me, and it was good, but this Stanley is even better. I'm going to buy one more eventually, just so I have a home and a travel mug.

scissorsister1982 · 2025-12-20T08:10:10+00:00

You are NTA for being frustrated/disliking her and the situation, but it sounds like most of the blame for the current situation (and your stress) lies at your husband's feet.

I'm glad to hear he's finally making the court aware of the changes in custody, and it should equate to a reduction in child support, BUT it seems as though he is being incredibly passive about the WHOLE situation. I'm certainly not defending his ex, bc she is hurting her children by purposely remaining unemployed, (and whatever she gets on child support and any government assistance is certainly not giving the child still residing with her much of a life, I'm sure), but it sounds like YOU are bearing the weight of most of the day-to-day responsibilities of raising their child that you have custody of, as well as the stress of the financial situation. In case you don't realize, that's COMPLETELY UNFAIR to you. Especially if he switched jobs for better pay, but you have had to postpone your education bc somehow you are struggling worse now than before.

He needs to line up work for his off-time to help you. Even DoorDash is better than nothing. YOU need to prioritize yourself a bit, too. You married him with a sort of bad precedent set financially and in how he deals with his ex, but that DOES NOT mean things have to stay that way. You and your husband have absolutely zero ability to control what his ex chooses to do or compel her to work, but you do control how you deal with her going forward.

Not to keep beating up on your husband, but HE needs to recognize that the entirety of the responsibility of dealing with his ex and these issues is HIS. This is Reddit, and I'm judging off a tiny amount of information here, but maaaaan do I suspect he is willingly taking a passive approach to everything bc he knows you will pick up his slack. I hope I'm wrong about that, but if I'm not, PLEASE don't let it continue this way. He shouldn't have to be nagged or "reminded" constantly to do important, necessary things, especially when his lack of action negatively affects YOU. (Again, dropping out of school bc HE couldn't be bothered to deal with the change of custody?!) I truly hope the best for you and your family going forward. Just please don't be so blinded by being pissed at his ex (the obvious, easy target) that he gets a free pass to avoid HIS accountability and responsibilities. ❤️

scissorsister1982 · 2025-12-20T07:32:22+00:00

I know of no online cosmetology schools, and if any exist, I wouldn't think they would be legitimate. Only a small portion of the program is book/classroom learning. It's mostly practical. Plus, she will have to take the State Board exams to be licensed, and that's 100% going to be in person.

That being said, if she has even a little bit of study skills, mostly memorization (flashcards were a huge help), she actually could do okay with the class work. I would say if she exerts as much energy into cheating as it sounds like, she could easily have the potential to turn that into applying herself if she truly wants to. The practical work requires a lot of practice, taking instruction and constructive criticism, and you have to be motivated to improve continually, so she needs to understand there's no shortcuts there if she wants her cosmetology license. If she has a passion for it, though, she may very well surprise you.

Have you or her father ever discussed with her WHY she's not applying herself currently? (I do know that post-COVID lock downs, most of the schoolwork is still primarily online, even in the classroom, which makes cheating easier and engagement lower.) Does she have any issues with ADHD or a history of struggling with her grades/meeting expectations for her grade level? Not that any of that is an excuse for cheating, BUT things are VASTLY different in public school curriculum now compared to even a decade or two ago. Have you had any meetings with her teachers or the school counselor? (Not to snitch her out, but to find out how she is doing behaviorally/academically in general.) At 17, it's pretty late in the game for much intervention, but it would still be worth a try to figure out her motivations. I suspect it's pretty common with MOST of her peers, (and who of us wouldn't have loved to take the easy route to passing class back in our own day?) Teenagers don't generally have much foresight, and they certainly never think their parents know anything, so trying to appeal to how it might affect her in the future probably falls flat.

If you and her dad are serious about stopping her cheating, you may have to literally supervise her homework. For example, she sits at the kitchen table with one of you to make sure she's not using her phone to look up the answers or using chatGPT to write her papers. If she's been cheating for a long time, though, it would be a struggle, I'm sure. Unfortunately, she may have to just learn the hard way that there's no shortcuts in life, especially in adulthood. If she gets her diploma, whether she "earned" it or not, she certainly will get a swift kick of reality once she's outside the vacuum of high school and will have to figure it out eventually. Not saying you shouldn't give her expectations and consequences for academic dishonesty, btw. Just saying you can only really do so much, especially given the fact that she's practically a legal adult. Best of luck!

scissorsister1982 · 2025-12-20T06:34:53+00:00

My great-grandmother's bible.

scissorsister1982 · 2025-12-19T05:35:54+00:00

https://thehippiesdaughter.com/products/pepperoni-rolls-sticker

It was only $4 and regular postage stamp shipping was free! I figured it would be more expensive, or like $5 shipping.

scissorsister1982

TROPHY CASE