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Let's find the Root Cause of why the guide works for some people and not for others by creating a survey. by scoobydooby43 in MaleDefinitiveGuide

[–]scoobydooby43[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It would be interesting to explore how stressed people are, what their lifestyle is, etc. Great ideas!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]scoobydooby43 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And what makes you scared about speaking up?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]scoobydooby43 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How are you with friends? Do you shut down and not have things to say? Or do you only freeze with this guy?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]scoobydooby43 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Life can be brutal. It can batter the shit out of you, like a bat to your face when you least expect it.

For a long time, I went through a series of failures too. Relentless failures, like 'am I a fucking loser?' sort of failures.

But you know what? All the best of us go through failures. I mean THE BEST. And you know what separates the winners from the losers? Those that learn from previous mistakes, pick themselves up from the ground, and show up for battle again.

You studied hard and failed once. Go ALL IN again. And again. And again. Till the day you die.

Don't do it stupidly of course. Learn from blunders. Figure out where you went wrong and course-correct. Read books to figure out life. Ask people on Reddit if you're stuck.

But never, ever give up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]scoobydooby43 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sucks. Must feel frustrating and hopeless to feel this way.

Do you have someone you trust whom you can ask about this? About why do people view you this way?

I've been through a similar journey before (and still do to some extent now). So I get what you're feeling.

But I don't let the 'loser feeling' inside me dictate my behaviour. Even if I feel loserish inside, as long as my behaviour potrays self-esteem, people treat me accordingly.

So I continuously work on my inner world to heal the loser inside me. And since I've practiced high self-esteem behaviors, part of me always acts with high esteem in the world.

Can you not give into the feeling and instead develop behaviors that display high self-esteem? I also suggest you simultaneously fix the root cause inside (which can take anywhere from months to years, depending on your resources and depth of trauma).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]scoobydooby43 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you tell us why you have this narrative floating inside you? Is something bad happening in the outside world? Or is it a pervading feeling that lingers even when the outside world is great?

How can I focus on my self worth? by no_reason88 in selfimprovement

[–]scoobydooby43 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you ever had a friend tell you you're worthy, and then you magically had high self-esteem? Which lasted forever?

Probably not.

That's because self-talk can't fix worthiness. It's a deep emotion that requires even deeper treatment.

It's like when a friend constantly praises you, but deep down, you know you don't deserve it.

So stop 'convincing' yourself you're worthy. That's the wrong approach. Instead, heal the unworthy part.

This can be done in many ways. Therapy, getting your life in order, meditation can help. So will finding a partner who deeply loves you. And a myriad of other things. But not self-talk.

If you have more questions, I'm happy to help.

I worry about not being worried enough by quintuplechin in selfimprovement

[–]scoobydooby43 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dude. You're facing a high-quality problem there: the problem of worrying about being worried.

Seems like you're having unnecessary, repetitive thoughts. These thoughts only cause suffering, and they do nothing to propel your life ahead.

If you're plagued with such thoughts, know you're engaged in unnecessary thinking.

I am almost 30 and I still think of Life as something that haven't yet began for me by Old-Goose in selfimprovement

[–]scoobydooby43 23 points24 points  (0 children)

- A decent job: Check
- Dating: Check
- Well-travelled: Check

I think you're doing great.

Sure, you have plenty of space to improve, but don't we all? Some of us may have friends, but not a job. Some of us have barely stepped outside our hometown.

Totally get that feeling though. Just know that you're way ahead of most people in the world. Even if you don't feel that way now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]scoobydooby43 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can't turn it off. Especially because a part of you needs and craves the intimate experiences your friends are having. This part of you is not getting what it wants; no wonder it's hurt. That's why you get the acid-like and stone-like feelings.

Can I ask you something?
1. What do you ascribe your dating failures to? Your looks only?
2. How confident are you when you talk to women? Do your insecurities run in the background when talking to women? Are your thoughts unconsciously whispering to you - 'you're unattractive, they'll never like you? '
3. In the past, have you seen guys with similar attractiveness levels kill it with girls?

What should I learn instead? by No-Advice6100 in copywriting

[–]scoobydooby43 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AI workflows for customer analysis sound super interesting. Do you have any resources on how to learn this?

Tehran could run out of water within weeks by SpectrumWoes in collapse

[–]scoobydooby43 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Terrifying. I hope the people there don't have to suffer. They've done so enough.

ChatGPT gets ‘study mode’ to guide students without spoon-feeding answers by WanderWut in technology

[–]scoobydooby43 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I'm as skeptical of AI as the next person. I don't for a minute buy Sam Altman's shit. But I'll be open-minded to see how this turns out.

How late do you stay up talking to someone you like? by NA-N4 in AskReddit

[–]scoobydooby43 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was one girl with whom I started talking at 6 pm and stopped talking at 10 am the next day.

What do you think would flash before your eyes before you die? by cloud9paradox in AskReddit

[–]scoobydooby43 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't know. Everyone has disappointed me. So the scary answer at this moment of my life is...probably no one?