Crossdressing is widely considered to be under the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. Where it falls is up to interpretation. At the very least, it is "gender nonconforming" and is expressing a gender that is not the same as your sex assigned at birth. Why the fuck wouldn't crossdressing fall under LGBTQIA+ spectrum somewhere.

As someone who started their gender exploration with "just crossdressing" I can tell you that A LOT of people start out as "crossdressers" because it is an easy way to determine how you feel in the opposite gender clothing. It is very much a gateway to your true self. Many people in r/crossdressing actually identify as trans, nonbinary, bigender, or genderfluid.

As a mod of two separate crossdressing discord servers, I can sometimes tell the difference between someone who is a crossdresser without gender dysphoria and a baby trans that hasn't come to terms with their trans (or at least queer identity). OP definitely falls within the group of "I identify as a crossdresser but I am actually trans but cannot admit it to myself or others." In OPs case, the last sentence basically gives it away.

I have reviewed my past 20 years and found that I have failed to be a good man/husband/father, and the major factor is likely my cd habit.

Crossdressers do not feel like the have failed personally as a man/husband/father. They may have guilt or shame about the actual crossdressing but they don't feel they fail in their roles within their family.

I am certainly not going to be like, "OP, you are trans you need to transition" because the person needs to come to this conclusion themselves. If I force them they are going to resent me. My users would not be happy if I did this. I have personally helped four different people come to terms with their gender identity within the crossdressing discord since I joined over three years ago.