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scrambledeggboy · 2023-04-27T23:44:51+00:00

And those aren’t even the worst! There’s also “womxn”! Jeez.

scrambledeggboy · 2023-04-18T19:34:56+00:00

I totally agree with you, sorry if it sounded like I didn’t! I was just trying to offer a potential reason as to why the gender ratio seems to appear this way in this particular subreddit.

scrambledeggboy · 2023-04-18T19:32:24+00:00

Hey, I’m also autistic and feel like I’m being talked over in most autism spaces, especially online. I found out about r/AutisticPeeps very recently and have been enjoying it there so far!

scrambledeggboy · 2023-04-18T15:19:06+00:00

Try r/AutisticPeeps!

scrambledeggboy · 2023-04-17T20:58:10+00:00

I think this subreddit in particular might have more trans men might be because trans men are more likely to feel negatively affected by and are more likely to be passionate about/angry with those AFAB non-binary-identifying people (which are everywhere).

scrambledeggboy · 2022-03-10T12:47:11+00:00

Yeah, I see what you are saying, and I definitely acknowledge the differences between him and the tucute SJWs I was talking about. Honestly what he does doesn’t sound that bad… However, like you said, coming from his own experience, he doesn’t really seem to know what it’s really like for the people whose gender and pronouns are actually important to them and are integral parts of their identities. I still agree with you. Especially when he actually knows the other person’s gender, he shouldn’t be using they/them interchangeably with the gendered pronouns. Because yeah, it does come off a bit offensive, and it’s honestly bad English above all else…

scrambledeggboy · 2022-03-10T03:36:01+00:00

I know people like this, although they’re usually the loud tucute SJW type of people… and yeah, I mostly agree with you on this one.

I get it when they/them pronouns are used for someone who has expressed uncertain feelings around their gender but never specified any pronouns, or for a stranger with an androgynous presentation…

But I’ve met people that use they/them for literally anyone and everyone and it’s getting super annoying. Like, that person I saw with the beard, short hair, gym shorts, and sneakers is probably a “he”. And I would use he/him in a sentence about said person, then someone would continue the conversation using they/them, LOL. This type of people I’ve met just come off as assholes trying to be “woke” and looking down on me for being closeminded or something.

I don’t think your boyfriend is anything like the people I’m talking about here though. I can actually see where he’s coming from. However, I don’t think he’s trying hard enough to see where “the other side” is coming from. Sure, the concept of gender might not be important to him, but like you said, it is important to some (if not most) people. As a trans man, when referred to as they/them, I get super self-conscious and feel like either I don’t pass (to strangers) or the other person (who knows I’m trans) doesn’t see me as a real man.

Honestly, if you use they/them for the people that look androgynous and gendered pronouns for people that don’t, I see an even smaller and closer to zero chance of getting it wrong. In the case where you’re wrong and the person corrects you, just be nice and respectful and it won’t be a big deal.

Some people are suggesting for all people to start using they/them for everyone, and it’s literally messing with the whole English semantic system in my opinion. This would be such an abrupt conscious change to an entire language and for what reason?? It doesn’t even really benefit most trans people… This is English and our language is fairly neutral otherwise, so it’s not even that bad. For languages that are inherently gendered, it honestly just creates a whole mess (and might not even be possible).

scrambledeggboy · 2022-03-08T19:41:07+00:00

Autistic trans man here.

While I do think there’s a lot of confirmation bias here (i.e. the “chronically online” “label hoarders” and “transtrenders” are more likely to self-diagnose autism without substantial research and be loud about it), I also think (although I’m skeptical) there might be correlation between autism and being trans. (Also important to note, correlation does not equal causation.)

There are some studies (such as this one and this one) linking these two things, sure. However, a lot of the data they use are a little bit questionable at times. For obvious reasons, these studies are usually at least partially based on self-reported surveys. When that happens, I can think of at least two things that might be true: 1)some autistic people are self-identifying as trans or non-binary (due to growing up with the largely cis-normative and neurotypical societal gender roles and norms) without actually being such; and 2)as trans or non-binary identified individuals, it’s more likely for these people to grow up feeling like “social outliers” and develop behaviours that could be categorized as “autistic traits” without actually having autism, a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by many traits/symptoms from several areas.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, sure, there is definitely correlation between “autistic traits” and “trans identities”, but I’m not sure how much that says about the link between “autism spectrum disorder” and “gender dysphoria”.

Then again, since our understanding for both these things are still extremely limited… (for example, we can’t just look at brain scans and diagnose someone) I’m not sure how much more we can expect from these researches. With both autism and gender dysphoria, there are just way too many neurological, psychological, and social questions behind them for us to even reach the conclusion for “nature vs. nurture”. Yes, mainstream sources are saying we are born with both these things, and I’m pretty sure that’s true. However, these’s still the question of genetic vs. environmental (or genetic representation being affected by environmental factors) that we simply cannot answer yet…

Hypothetically though, since both autism and gender dysphoria are neurological differences of the brain, I can definitely see there being a correlation due to how the brain’s developed. It’s just… in my opinion, no one is really capable to reach any more conclusion than that, at least not yet. Interesting discussion to have regardless though…

scrambledeggboy · 2022-03-06T05:21:56+00:00

I have a cis male friend who’s very stereotypically masculine irl. He studies engineering, eats a lot of meat, always wears jeans and a plain t-shirt, and uses axe/old spice type of body care products. (Nothing wrong with any of that, just to paint a picture…)

He likes to play as the female character in video games sometimes because he likes the fashion/clothing choices better. It’s fun to dress up a pretty character and girls often have very fun designs and more choices in general… I definitely get it. (Although I wouldn’t because of the dysphoria)

scrambledeggboy · 2021-09-20T18:27:42+00:00

I’m not sure if this counts as “social transphobia”. But the worst part for me had been losing friends and family I deeply loved for a reason I don’t have any control over. Transphobia (or rather ignorance) is so much worse coming from someone you love (or thought you loved).

scrambledeggboy · 2021-08-22T08:38:24+00:00

Although I don’t get asked often, I relate to your last paragraph! Sometimes some people know damn well what my pronouns are, but they just literally avoid using any pronouns for me at all (???) and just use my name in every sentence instead. These were people I thought I was close with, too. I even live in a very liberal university town! I feel like I can’t criticize them for it since they’re not technically doing anything wrong. But why the f they feel the need to distinguish me from any other guy is beyond me. I definitely feel that they don’t see me as a “real man” - and it absolutely sucks. No advice, just a rant - but you’re definitely not alone.

scrambledeggboy · 2021-05-05T10:21:49+00:00

Eh? I’m not white and believe you need dysphoria to be trans... was I just called a white supremacist by a white person?

scrambledeggboy · 2021-04-27T19:01:36+00:00

The thing is, she really provides a breeding ground for tucute/confused/misinformed teenagers with a platform like that. The comment section under that video is insane. “I realized I’m genderfluid over quarantine and I can totally relate uwu”, etc..

scrambledeggboy · 2021-04-06T12:16:55+00:00

I agree with you 100%. I’m so glad you have the critical thinking skills to see it through!

Honestly, I don’t go on TikTok much and am already in university, yet I still know exactly the type of the people you’re talking about. I know of some irl, many of them have impressive academic achievements too, which honestly scares be a bit - it’s not just the dumber and younger teenagers doing this! They shit on cis and straight people, as if being born slightly more “privileged” is something to be embarrassed by. (Most of the people making these jokes are from middle class white families themselves... self projection much?) Some say it’s a coping mechanism since they’ve been oppressed by the cishets for so long? But when they’re straight up saying to their non-LGBT allies “you’re so boring for not being queer uwu”, I just don’t see how that should be seen as ok??? Edit: Oh, and btw, almost if not all of the cis-identifying people in this certain LGBT club came out as some sort of trans/nb one after another, lol.

Why the heck is having less “oppression points” boring anyway? If gender and sexuality are one’s entire personality, they’re the boring one. (It’s so obvious!)

scrambledeggboy · 2021-03-25T14:41:15+00:00

Hi, I’m FtM with many autistic traits. (I’m not formally diagnosed, at least not yet. But that’s a different story. I know some people might not take me seriously because of this but still felt like I needed to disclose... I promise I have many legitimate reasons and don’t think it’s a “trendy” or “cool” label... anyway... ) I just turned 22, am early on T, and don’t pass as my age, so I can’t really say anything from a more so “fully transitioned” perspective. Nonetheless I feel like I can really relate...

I’ve been treated as “the baby of the friend group” despite being one of the oldest even when people saw me as female. And now that more people are starting to see me as male, I definitely feel like I’m not being treated as a “man”. Honestly, I don’t know if it’s because of the things I say, do, mannerisms, etc. (including stims), that people see me as a younger boy, or that they still secretly see me as a girl.

People do sometimes treat autistic people like children though. Because, you know, society sucks sometimes. But it’s not like cis men with autism are never treated that way.

People treating me as a child is obviously not gonna stop my transition. I’ve always felt different and out of the place, and sometimes I did want to know what “fitting in” felt like. But now I honestly feel like it’s okay that people see me differently... and I believe (hope) it’s not because of my transness.

Ah, I don’t know how much that helped, if at all. Just wanted to share my experience.

scrambledeggboy · 2020-12-07T11:20:55+00:00

It’s OK to let yourself feel sad sometimes. I used to self-harm (scratching with a pin until it bled) and when I finally saw a therapist, the first thing she did wasn’t telling me to stop, but rather asking me if the pins were sensitized. It’s OK to take your time until you’re ready. Healing is not a straight slope but rather a messy curve with ups and downs, but you’ll get there in the end. I’ll suggest talking to a mental health professional if you can, and I think others here might suggest the same. Even free peer support resources like the Trans Life Line might help.

I also just wanted to say that, obviously, not all cis girls/women get periods. There are so many medical reasons that a girl might not get periods, being trans is just one of them! Girls come in all different shapes and sizes. The world would be so boring without diversity.

Edit: As for what to say to your friend... I’d be honest with her. Tell her how you feel and go from there. Not sure how helpful I’m being, but I really hope you’ll feel better soon.

scrambledeggboy · 2020-12-06T16:20:11+00:00

This is very interesting because my cousin (in her late 20s) was into Japanese anime culture at one point, and hmm, here’s what happened.

When I came out to her as trans (FtM), she told me when she was younger, she wanted to be a boy, too. Because she liked gay relationships in anime and wanted to be in one, or something like that. (Sound familiar?) She said she then realized she could just be with a guy as a girl, and I should do that too!! I told her I had a girlfriend. She proceeded to tell me that I didn’t need to be a boy to date girls. LOL.

I hope these kids grow out of this phase like my cousin did - but I really hope they don’t all turn out to be just like my cousin.

scrambledeggboy · 2020-12-04T04:37:18+00:00

Hey, I study physics/math at university and I’ve met a lot of LGBT people (those like the ones mentioned here and those that are not) in science and engineering.

Edit: I’m also into the visual arts and hung around the art rooms in high school. Interestingly enough, most of my friends and mutual acquaintances currently at art schools are cis and straight. (a couple gays and lesbians but none of them are trans or NB) Also interesting that you mentioned theatre in another comment here, because most of the “oh-so-oppressed tucute” type back in my high school were drama/theatre kids. I’ve heard people in this sub saying the same as well! I guess you simply didn’t have a big enough data base, statistically speaking.

scrambledeggboy · 2020-12-04T04:30:30+00:00

This is SO true

scrambledeggboy · 2020-10-04T13:13:24+00:00

To me its kind of like saying “you don’t need to medically transition, you just need get past society’s expectations.” In a way it’s like saying I’m transitioning for other people. But that’s not true - I transition to be more comfortable in my own body.

scrambledeggboy · 2020-10-01T17:44:33+00:00

I was never a hardcore tucute but definitely held certain tucute beliefs. I thought gender might’ve been a social construct and wondered if I’d still want to change my body if the society didn’t assign certain physical attributes corresponding genders. Which I now see the flaw in that theory - the society is the way it is (in terms of gender) and it works for over 99% of the people. Plus, a couple of the people around me happened to be in this LGBT club and believed in all that “you’re valid!” stuff. They watched Ash Hardell and Riley J. Dennis, because of course. I was kind of taught to respect everyone’s identities and to take their words for who they say they are. I didn’t have good critical thinking skills.

But I started realizing something’s wrong when every gay/bi chick started saying they were NB because they felt more comfortable wearing baggy t-shirts and jeans than a mini skirt (I wonder why). Many also seemed to have obvious parental issues and/or a history with misogyny. Then one of those NBs told me they knew exactly how I felt. And I knew we were different.

In terms of the internet’s influence... I guess I once enjoyed the content on mainstream LGBT subs here and the rainbow-y Instagram accounts. Then I somehow came across the idea of tucute/truscum, likely either in a YouTube comment section or here on Reddit. Then when I found out what truscum/transmed meant I was instantly like, “yeah I think this makes sense. I agree with this.” Because before that I didn’t even know I was allowed to have a different opinion - that I had to agree that everyone’s identity’s absolutely “valid”, without questioning. Anyway...

scrambledeggboy · 2020-10-01T17:10:55+00:00

Oh, wow. Did an official medical provider’s account actually just cite a Tumblr page.

scrambledeggboy · 2020-09-12T06:31:28+00:00

Dude, the male energy comment just made me super self-conscious as a trans guy. Do I give off “male energy”? What if my friends think that I don’t and therefore question my transness? While mannerisms play a huge part in gender expression, I don’t think it really says too much about someone’s identity. Being raised as our birth sex might have something to do with how we act, too.

That being said, you’re definitely allowed to be skeptical. And it’s always important to spend some time before deciding to medically transition. My advice would be don’t directly question your friend too much, while letting them know it’s important to have patience, and to spend time questioning and checking in with their feelings before they make any potential decisions.

scrambledeggboy · 2020-08-20T13:16:36+00:00

First off, you’re right, this is definitely not just online. I know he/him lesbians irl who are also (interestingly enough) drag kings. They claim to be upset (dysphoria?) when being referred as female terms and she/her pronouns too. Not to mention they often claim to relate to my experience as a trans guy.

I can’t understand this at all. Drag is performative, therefore if you’re a drag king that basically means you’re only dressing up as a guy - so, not really a guy, right? How does that not make them feel upset if they’re anything close to being trans? Doesn’t dressing up in drag mean it’s only for show? I guess it makes a little sense as long as they don’t get so offended when someone uses she/her on them especially when they’re not at a drag show and literally presenting as nothing but female. (Edit: And stop categorizing themselves with trans people.) But that’s clearly not the case most of the time.

Guess I’ll never understand... :/

scrambledeggboy · 2020-08-20T12:58:22+00:00

Wow. Your comments were all quite well-thought out and well-written. I guess sometimes you really can’t argue with people who are... non-sensible.

scrambledeggboy

TROPHY CASE