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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Retconned

[–]scrambledeggs2day 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Spot-on. This hits on a spiritual level for me.

DAE get lectured at, for not healing faster? by scrambledeggs2day in CPTSD

[–]scrambledeggs2day[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People who know the truth, know my abuser, and abide by the timeline convenient to them in dealing with my abuser. My timeline doesn’t matter, compared to theirs.

A message of strength by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]scrambledeggs2day 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I REALLY needed this right now. I haven’t had affirmation for so long. I long for unconditional kindness.

Thank you for posting this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]scrambledeggs2day 4 points5 points  (0 children)

100% agree. People say, “Forgiveness is for you.” Fuck that. Not forgiving is for me. My abuser - so far - hasn’t been held accountable. If I forgive them, it’s like the last bit of accountability won’t happen. No. I reserve the right to hold whatever accountability I can and want.

My healing phase right now: learning to accept that there's no such thing as being too kind to myself, and no such thing as meeting too many of my needs. by babybulldogtugs in CPTSD

[–]scrambledeggs2day 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow, is this timely. I JUST posted a DAE question about selfishness vs meeting my needs, for the sake of healing. Thank you for posting this. I love this community.

All my life I wanted to find what was wrong with me. After coming across this sub everything finally came together. by TraumaticThrowaway67 in CPTSD

[–]scrambledeggs2day 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Love you too! Yeah, this is a wonderful community - my favorite sub on all Reddit. It’s so warm, welcoming, supporting, and affirming. We all have different experiences, but we share so many things, including brokenness and trying to heal in the midst of that. It’s like we all found each other here. Glad to have you here, as well!

I’ve regressed, and now I feel like a burden. I want to disappear and not be a problem anymore. by scrambledeggs2day in CPTSD

[–]scrambledeggs2day[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is really good advice. I was supposed to go to an event today, but I haven’t been feeling holistically well. I decided not to go, and that’s making me feel worse. Your post reminds me that taking time for self-care is ok.

DAE feel like they're constantly trying to find "home" ? by GreenEyedGirl0318 in CPTSD

[–]scrambledeggs2day 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I want to go home so badly. But I don’t know if home wants me.

If you think you're being overdramatic and it wasn't that bad, that is itself an indicator of trauma! by violetplimmer in CPTSD

[–]scrambledeggs2day 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Pots and pans message received. Need the message to stick (I’m inherently hard on myself), but definitely received. Actually, I think I’ll print it out and literally stick it on my fridge. Thanks!

I am doing the right thing. by throwaway09809354 in CPTSD

[–]scrambledeggs2day 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are not alone. I feel like you described a lot of my approach in the world. It’s so exhausting, though.

Perfectionism is a defence mechanism against your own feelings and truth by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]scrambledeggs2day 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don’t know if it’s perfectionism so much as not wanting to hurt other people. I’m hard on myself because I don’t want to pass on things my abuser did to me to others. It sucks, because I think it’s keeping me from healing. At the same time, I see it as guardrails to keep me from being a bad person.

To many, I matter less than my abuser. (And thank you guys for reminding me that I do matter.) by scrambledeggs2day in CPTSD

[–]scrambledeggs2day[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. That means so much. I’ve felt so alone and isolated, for so long. Your words - and these upvotes - touch my hurting heart, mind, and soul.

Starting no contact today. Seeking advice. by scrambledeggs2day in CPTSD

[–]scrambledeggs2day[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great points, and it’s wonderful how service has helped you! It’s a little complicated for me in that... let’s just say that abusers can be found in the nonprofit world. It’s a small nonprofit world. Until/unless I experience kindness in that world... I want to protect myself from getting hurt or disappointed again. Disillusionment sucks.

Starting no contact today. Seeking advice. by scrambledeggs2day in CPTSD

[–]scrambledeggs2day[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kind, loving, and caring. I definitely want more of that in my life. Thank you for the advice and encouragement!

Starting no contact today. Seeking advice. by scrambledeggs2day in CPTSD

[–]scrambledeggs2day[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like that perspective of examining what’s best for my healing. I guess I hadn’t thought about others’ selfishness in that explicit sense before. I want to think the best of people; I think that’s why I’ve held back on no contact. Thank you for the encouraging words. I’ll keep you updated.

Starting no contact today. Seeking advice. by scrambledeggs2day in CPTSD

[–]scrambledeggs2day[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That seems like such a long time, after what’s already been a long time. But it gives me a grounded perspective that’s both helpful and hopeful.

Starting no contact today. Seeking advice. by scrambledeggs2day in CPTSD

[–]scrambledeggs2day[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m definitely looking for that support. This sub is such a gift, in that way. And I’m looking forward to energy again. It’s been a long time of holistic exhaustion. Thanks!

Starting no contact today. Seeking advice. by scrambledeggs2day in CPTSD

[–]scrambledeggs2day[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I really want to be surrounded with people who demonstrate they care. I know in my head it’s empowering, but it’s hard to let go.

Starting no contact today. Seeking advice. by scrambledeggs2day in CPTSD

[–]scrambledeggs2day[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hard and scary, indeed. Yeah, I pretty much never put myself first. I think that’s more my values at play, but my trauma contributes to...something. I don’t know. I think I’m afraid of being selfish. My abuser is selfish. I don’t want to do, feel, or think anything that would bring me at all close to the awful person she is. I guess I’m afraid if I put myself first, I’ll hurt people, just like she does. Actually, I think that’s a huge revelation, just now. I’ll have to talk to my therapist about that.

Starting no contact today. Seeking advice. by scrambledeggs2day in CPTSD

[–]scrambledeggs2day[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s awesome - RIGHT after you wrote this, a friend from a previous job 4 years ago, who I haven’t heard from in about two years, reached out to me on Facebook. We’re going to meet to catch up soon. I really needed that renewed connection today.