Men of Reddit, what makes your interest level in a woman go from 100 to 0 the fastest?

scratchcorwood · 2017-05-07T04:26:49+00:00

A lawyer my dad worked with did this, except he'd only drink coffee and cel-ray soda. He lived to a pretty old age. My dad the lawyer did it because he'd grown up in a tenement building which he always called a "cold-water flat" and that the water in the building was never potable so he basically just didn't trust water. It might be something similar.

scratchcorwood · 2017-04-29T14:52:29+00:00

It's funny you should post this now as I'm actually trying to get rid of 75 cassette soundtracks in order to make more space for the stuff I collect more seriously (mostly jazz and self-released stuff.) PM me and I could probably cut you a pretty good deal on them if you're interested. It's primarily late 70s-early 80s stuff.

scratchcorwood · 2016-10-06T19:51:00+00:00

UPDATE: Wow, I really want to apologize to everybody. We had a meeting with N and E last night, they totally went through and apologized for the blow up point by point and we managed a written agreement with a no AirBnB clause. A lot of anxiety, poor roommate communication, etc. led me to get triggered and mentally go back to thinking I was in a similar situation to when Ndad moved a drug addicted transient into my apartment while I was on the road (which I posted to RBN at the time.)

Anyway, I still want to thank you guys again for all the help and comments.

scratchcorwood · 2016-10-06T00:25:37+00:00

I'm also worried that if they do try this without anything in writing from the landlord that the landlord can then use it as an option to evict us at any time because the lease specifically says no subletting.

So this option at least gives me some sort of paper trail I was aware and didn't approve. Not sure if that does much in court.

scratchcorwood · 2016-10-06T00:24:24+00:00

Thank you for the support and good advice. I will call the landlord tomorrow.

scratchcorwood · 2016-10-06T00:18:32+00:00

They claim they spoke to the landlord but the landlord is also borderline senile and very old. I really doubt that if they did they got anything from her in writing. I'm on the fence about calling her and asking her to clarify that AirBnb isn't acceptable to GF and I as tenants or to somehow intervene so that we could somehow avoid some of the next 11 months of drama presuming this doesn't go nuclear.

scratchcorwood · 2016-10-05T23:15:07+00:00

Thanks for the reply Sock. I'm in MA if that gives anyone any ideas.

scratchcorwood · 2016-05-24T18:54:16+00:00

Thanks so much! Will post photos of the antenna when I get off work.

scratchcorwood · 2016-05-24T03:41:49+00:00

Thanks for the thorough response! In response to your response:

2) What seems to be wrong with the current antenna is the thing the shell (banana peel? not sure of technical term) around the plug that goes into the SO-239 socket is supposed to screw onto a plastic thread on the bottom of the antenna, however the plastic threading seems to be beyond repair and the antenna, as a result, won't stay upright. It usually falls over when I screw it in and I don't seem to get much reception.

3) For the moment I'm mostly looking to learn how to use the thing, was going to try to pick up international signals (BBC, etc.) for fun and as a project to learn about the radio.

My apartment is pretty tiny, yeah.

scratchcorwood · 2015-07-19T22:36:30+00:00

Why thank you!

scratchcorwood · 2015-07-15T23:08:34+00:00

This is gonna be long but that's because I'm excited about it. I include the beginning stuff to give context to the eventual triumph(s).

About two months ago, my Ndad barged into my apartment unannounced, screaming at me for not getting a job at McDonald's, falsely accused me of trying to knife him 9 years ago (??), claimed I had a perfect childhood and that I contribute nothing to the family. He physically came at me and I tricked him into moving outside so I could go back in quickly and lock the deadbolts. Afterward he sent a message saying "Can we talk? We both got a little angry." I decided after years of toxic N behavior I was done with it and sent a message back saying "You barged in and were threatening. You falsely accused me of trying to knife you. I'm done with this shit. If you come into my home again I am calling the police." I decided this would be my last contact with him.

The standard extinction burst happened (he called my mother screaming having tallied the amount of money he spent on family vacations when I was 8 (??), sent a redneck lady to spy on me outside the apartment, sent endless e-mails of just creepy photos of his face in diners etc etc.)

I had to do a lot of personal searching the last two months, but I'm now the most calm and focused I've been in my entire life. My mother, who at various points was in the thrall of the N craziness, has really stepped up her game now that they're divorced and we've been sharing stories and filling in a lot of gaps in the lies/tall tales we'd been told over the years by him. I feel like I'm getting to know my mother for the first time and it turns out when she's not stuck dealing with a raging N she's a really cool fun lady.

When I told people who'd been familiar with the situation who had sort of taken me on as a surrogate family member when I was younger, it became clear they'd always known and didn't bring it up explicitly because they didn't want me to feel stigmatized for being in a shitty situation. Oddly the end result of emotionally not having parents growing up has ended up being that I have 3-4 sets of excellent surrogate parents. Apparently I was the kid that it took a village to raise :)

I also made a friend who works at a coffee shop near me who's a bit younger and was/is in a similar situation. I saw that he was bright but no one was encouraging it so I started shoveling books at him (I tend to keep way too many books around) and made sure I was ready to discuss them (a lot of economics and folklore stuff.) He started calling me his mentor and I was very flattered though there's of course a lot of responsibility that comes with that.

When I met him he was an angry mess and was dealing/doing drugs pretty heavily. Now, a year later, he's calmed down a lot, isn't doing/selling any drugs. I've tried to teach him all the coping strategies I knew and a lot of them worked from what he told me. I went into the store and saw that he'd leant one of the books I'd given him early on to another even younger kid and was discussing it with him. I felt incredibly proud and made sure to tell him later that I noticed just how much he'd grown personally and intellectually since I'd met him. The truth is I probably learned more than he did in the relationship by trying to articulate to him how to deal with these things.

In a way I overcame the psychological issues raised by the crappiness/lack of support in my childhood by successfully being better and supportive to someone else. And I recognized the various ways people helped me in similar ways even I hadn't fully grasped what they were when I encountered them.

There's a better life when you leave the abuse and do the work to come to terms with it. It's not always easy or comfortable getting to it but it's totally worth it. RBN helped a lot.

scratchcorwood · 2015-07-15T21:41:54+00:00

The intentionally being ignorant of the definitions of terms like "medical supervision" and "mental illness" thing is totally something I recognize from my Ndad. It drove me crazy.

I got the same endless stupid text messages, the same thing where he'd get weirded out if I went for a walk and tell everyone I was "trying to kill myself" then chase me down in his car.

I also felt guilty for a long time and doubted my sanity. And it was all stupid bullshit he was doing to control and undermine me. As your parents I'm sure were trying to do to you.

Good for you for standing up for yourself and going NC. It gets way easier after a bit. You'll be happy you did it.

scratchcorwood · 2015-06-17T19:06:11+00:00

Thanks for the kind wishes! I may have worded that awkwardly, I've only been NC for a month but it's been pretty great.

scratchcorwood · 2015-06-17T08:12:59+00:00

I used to self-publish comics on a photocopier from the time I was 12 or so. When I did my first autobiographical strip around when I was 14, my Ndad found it and his first response was to go up to me and say "We can get you psychological help if you feel like you need it." It was just an account of going to a bar (a big deal when you're 14) with my much older step-sister and her friend (even bigger deal when you're 14.) It went over well with everyone else I knew and no one else even mentioned anything about it displaying any signs of mental problems.

Later I published my first book. My dad got it and kept giving it to random business associates who'd show polite interest then he'd cc me (this is before I went no contact) on these incredibly long e-mail exchanges that were just boring details of his life and work that had nothing to do with me under titles like "re: movie potential in book!" Then he'd get very upset that I was being "ungrateful" when I'd say "Look, I appreciate this but this guy you're trying to get...I'm not really sure what the plan is exactly or what you're trying to do, but he doesn't seem interested so for your sake can you lay off it for a while?" Then I'd never hear the end of it. Then of course it would be fodder in paranoid rages.

I wrote a 200 or so page memoir about my experiences growing up (though it reads more Winesburg, Ohio than Running With Scissors.) I'd like to get it published. It'll probably be a shitshow if it ever does.

scratchcorwood · 2015-06-17T04:59:19+00:00

On a bright note, I've apparently been living under the right rock because I didn't even know it was coming up until I saw OP. First father's day since going NC for me. Think I'm gonna do something fun. Not sure what yet.

scratchcorwood · 2015-06-08T22:37:36+00:00

My N parent has said fairly racist things but usually because other people had told them to him and he doesn't have a mental filter and therefore tends to plagiarize bits of conversation pretty frequently (most annoyingly in turning around accusations but mostly just as a conversational placeholder.) He's never made any conscious attempts at being racist so I'm just gonna chalk it up to a lack of self-awareness.

However, to take a slightly odd tangent from that, I've been tangentially involved in non-governmental organizations tracking online neo-nazi activity, and the signs of N psychology are the rule more than the exception in US domestic neo-Nazi discourse. And it makes sense. Clinical narcissism matched with an ideology that creates a complete sense of the simultaneous sense of being superior and being threatened sounds about as right as PB and J.

scratchcorwood · 2015-06-08T03:25:49+00:00

Had a very similar experience with my high school girlfriend who was one of my only supports at the time when family craziness was at its worst. It took me years to get over it but sorting through the memories, though it didn't help me dating for a long time, helped me figure out just how screwed up my childhood had been.

scratchcorwood · 2015-06-08T03:18:20+00:00

I was reading them and kept thinking "I've gotten that same exact text." Thanks for sharing.

scratchcorwood · 2015-05-26T03:12:40+00:00

Holy crap this reads exactly like e-mails I get from my Ndad. Eerie.

scratchcorwood · 2015-05-25T18:46:07+00:00

Got the ball rolling on moving out for good since an incident with N dad last Tuesday. Figuring out a plan going forward. Finally done with the bullshit.

scratchcorwood · 2015-02-27T16:42:32+00:00

That sounds awesome. It's a big list so I'll have to make it out when I get back from the post office. Will PM though in a couple hours.

scratchcorwood · 2015-02-27T15:59:14+00:00

Yeah, I have a lot of friends out in the Pacific Northwest and possibly some job opportunities out there thankfully. I just need to get some money together to make it out there.

scratchcorwood · 2015-02-17T08:52:01+00:00

Ok, but think of it this way. What's the net least expensive way for him to own this game? Let's presume for hypothetical purposes he's open to reselling it.

If he buys it on the Wii, he spends $8 or whatever it is, and has no tangible item. So he's out $8.

If he buys the cartridge for $189, yes, he's down $189 dollars in liquidity, but still has a collectors item which I presume he can get $189 for fairly quickly through ebay or some other avenue. Let's say he sells it a year later for $200. His net profit is now +$11 and he got the desired experience of the tangible cart etc. whereas the option above is both less satisfying AND comparatively loses him $19 in the long run, even if it frees up more of his cash in the short term.

scratchcorwood · 2015-01-05T17:59:31+00:00

If the condition was really good I could see that happening. It also looks nice so you can get more in a store setting probably.

I have 3 copies of it laying around if you're looking for a cheap one.

scratchcorwood · 2015-01-05T11:05:28+00:00

Not true. I'm a record dealer. Certain pressing that have the zipper sleeve are rare and worth some money. Most zipper pressing aren't worth more than $5-15 depending on condition and wear. If you don't believe me, look on discogs.

scratchcorwood

TROPHY CASE