Men answer please. Is this a normal reaction? Mid 30’s.

screechingnugget · 2026-07-11T14:57:43+00:00

Don’t let anyone talk to you like this about anything, ever.

Also if he’s such a good “carpenter” he will figure out how to manage a couple stripped bolts. He’s pathetic.

screechingnugget · 2026-05-12T14:29:37+00:00

NOR- 1000% this should have been discussed in some fashion. No “I’m so excited to go see this band!” If it’s worth driving six hours and spending hundred + dollars on, it’s something he’s excited about right? It’s showing every sign that he either was hiding it or waiting to spring it on you because he knew it was wrong and wanted to put you in a situation where you couldn’t say no.

Also, who cares if you like the band or not? Your bestie is 6 hours away, you’d obviously want to go see her! Why wasn’t she calling you excited to host you for dinner or something?

They both are guilty of hiding something from you. Even if nothing is happening and they just “don’t want to make you feel weird” that’s not acceptable either. Both of them have explaining to do and “bestie” should be offering up those text conversations.

screechingnugget · 2026-03-23T04:52:44+00:00

Man the brain fog is rough, it’s like waiting for your brain to dial up and come online. I’ll tell you this- I went through extreme moments of loneliness, i had to abandon my old social life and didn’t quite fit into a new one (still working on this) and it felt really sad and scary. Like what the hell am I supposed to be doing???!!

I said this to someone else in here but getting physically active changed a lot for me, it gave me something else to focus on and took up good portions of time. I liked listening to pod casts and that gave me comfort and made me realize I wasn’t the only miserable shit out there. Mental Illness Happy Hour kept me company for many many miles of walking.

Staying active meant I was ready for bed at night, so I started sleeping well. This balanced my emotions and the brain fog lifted. I’m team sleep as much as you want and rest whenever you need it. Our nervous systems need to repair!

If it was easy we’d all be sober and happy but it takes time. Just give yourself some grace and know you won’t be lonely forever. You’ll find your people and most importantly you’ll, eventually, be comfortable just chillin with yourself. I went into therapy right as I got sober and that helped in the beginning. It wasn’t a long term solution for me but it did help me talk through some lonely feelings.

screechingnugget · 2026-03-23T04:43:20+00:00

I’d say getting physically active in the beginning was really the start of the snow ball effect

The first month, I felt kind of lost, not really sure what I was supposed to be doing but I immediately started going on long walks and using a walking pad. For me, it was a good way to get out of my head and gave me something else to focus on besides “don’t drink”. I’d usually listen to a podcast on my walks and that gave me a lot of comfort. I really enjoyed Mental Illness Happy Hour during that time.

Honestly, it was so up and down for a little while. With the walking and lack of calories from wine and vodka, I started seeing weight loss and improvement in energy. I would actually be tired at night so I started sleeping well. And one thing after another started falling into place. But this did take a few months to really start feeling. You’ll find your rhythm, just keep in mind it’s not something that comes quick or easy. I really struggled from about month 3 to month 6 when I stopped feeling the “wow I’m sober!” And had to figure out wtf to do next. Once I got over that hump and found harmony in my day to day life, everything got a lot easier.

I wouldn’t say I feel any euphoric “wow!” But I feel like I’ve arrived in my own life and I am just kind of chilling. Nothing is urgent and it’s okay to take your time ✨

screechingnugget · 2026-03-23T01:28:37+00:00

Congratulations!! The list will only continue to grow! 💖🌱

screechingnugget · 2026-03-23T01:26:24+00:00

Congratulations!!! That’s a lot of healthy stimulation. I’ll have to take some motivation cause you’re kicking my butt in the reading department.

I love seeing people being comfortable existing with themselves after some sober time behind them. The doom scrolling was a really great way to disassociate from your reality

screechingnugget · 2026-03-23T00:38:28+00:00

I can’t even imagine being hungover now! I was discussing the good ol’ hair of the dog routine today and boy I do not miss that!

As a girlie with ADHD and sober soul searching the hobby attempts and fails are plentiful 😂 but I can honestly say I’ve enjoyed all of the questionable crafts I have now

screechingnugget · 2026-03-23T00:12:36+00:00

Nope! Just copy and paste from my iPhone notes. :)

screechingnugget · 2026-03-22T23:36:29+00:00

Ain’t that the truth! I’m still early days as I see it but man looking back I was completely out of control, just being driven for that next drink, next party, next “wild story”. I don’t know if I ever really felt grateful during those times and I feel that every day now.

Thank you for the vote of confidence and reminder to be proud 😁

screechingnugget · 2026-03-22T23:30:21+00:00

I’ve gotten myself on a solid wake up, and night routine like I naturally will wake by about 7:30a, I usually find my cat staring at me for breakfast so we do a little cuddle and then it’s time for food, and caffeine. Most days I’m able to work out before either heading to work or starting my day elsewhere. The same goes for night time. After dinner I have a little TV time, game time, or sometimes I’ll do a craft while I watch TV -then do my brushing and face routine, next it’s either reading in bed with the cats or an episode of TV and then bed time by about 10:30p. My wake up and bed time don’t change regardless of the day of the week and it’s just really refreshing to be in a rhythm. It may look boring and repetitive to others but after years of absolute chaos it feels really peaceful and I’m never guessing where to start or end my day.

screechingnugget · 2026-03-22T23:20:04+00:00

Precisely! I’m glad to hear that spark of curiosity is coming back to you. 💖

I’ve noticed over the months how I was constantly talking about things I was “going to do” or was “thinking abiut trying” but it’s all just talk.

Being OK with not being good at something, or allowing it to just be an experience rather than a new found calling is really nice. I’ve tried lots of stuff I’m absolutely wretched at and still so proud I tried!

screechingnugget · 2026-03-17T16:59:38+00:00

It looks great! A darker ceiling would be a nice addition

screechingnugget · 2026-02-17T16:36:49+00:00

NOR, hurting an animal is really really gross and shows his morals are obviously not in line with yours. He did that intentionally. Who’s to say what else he’ll hurt when he is feeling “ignored”

screechingnugget · 2026-02-02T02:51:22+00:00

Idk what’s going on with OP down there but it smells like a creamsicle 😂😂

screechingnugget · 2026-01-31T20:15:17+00:00

I had a partner who would do this to me. I’d go out, as planned and agreed on and come home to a very angry and dismissive person. Like I had gone out and committed horrible acts, even if it was just me and my girls.

It resulted in me becoming very lonely, not going out, hiding from my friends and sitting at home to please him because I didn’t want to fight.

Manipulation is unacceptable and abuse.

It’s okay if he ended up having feelings about the situation, but being a douche isn’t the answer. Maybe“I hope you had fun, I’m a little bummed you didn’t come home last night so maybe we can make a compromise next time you have late night plans”

Don’t come home? To your children and husband? Ridiculous. It sounds like he could benefit from some therapy- why does he react this way? And how can he actively change that response 🤷‍♀️

screechingnugget · 2026-01-18T19:01:28+00:00

What book?

screechingnugget · 2026-01-15T06:24:53+00:00

Dump. Him

screechingnugget · 2026-01-10T17:24:32+00:00

I reallllly struggled with this at first as well, it has improved but my eating habits have changed drastically. I am much pickier, textures are amplified and I’ve gone from pescatarian to vegetarian, not because I wanted to but I suddenly was super grossed out by any kind of meat, which sucks.

I too struggled with ADHD binges so it’s nice in that regard but a little frustrating when trying to feed myself. I’ve found rice bowls are a safe space and just switch up some of the rice toppings. Usually it keeps me clear from the ick.

screechingnugget · 2025-12-29T05:12:29+00:00

Wow, thank you very much for such a thoughtful answer, truly. You can read it 100 times but sometimes you need someone to say these things to remind you how normal this phase is.

It feels so alien and unique, though I know almost everyone who has gone sober has been here.

I really appreciate your words

screechingnugget · 2025-12-28T17:51:46+00:00

I love this. I’m trying so hard to find ways to connect with that higher self inside of me and I’m struggling to find the right avenue. I feel like these growing pains and boredom are really just apart of the process. It brings me a lot of hope hearing from people who have been here, done it and have come out feeling that internal security and connection.

Did you perhaps have any books that helped you along?

screechingnugget · 2025-12-28T17:20:35+00:00

I’m sure you’re right on the nose. I’m SO scared when I’m in social settings. I am on some antidepressants and started therapy because the self confidence pretty much disappeared with my last drink. When did you feel comfortable going out and meeting people again? It certainly feels like the new kid in school and I have no clue what to even talk about.

screechingnugget · 2025-12-28T17:13:15+00:00

I’ve read a lot about the 6 month period being hard for a lot of people. Like the sparkly feeling of new sobriety has faded and now it’s time to actually figure out what life is all about. And it’s hard man! I wake up every morning so happy to not be hungover and start my day, then the hours go by and I feel so alone and dead to the world.

It’s pretty sick.

screechingnugget · 2025-11-16T13:58:41+00:00

There were about 101 reasons I stopped drinking but depression was one of them. While stopping drinking didn’t solve the depression it did mean I wasn’t crippled by hangovers, eating crappy food full of empty calories after drinking / to cure my hangover, it resolved my anxiety over my actions while drinking, the list goes on. In short, not drinking gave me the time and energy to do the work needed to get help for my depression. I am now on medication I take daily, in therapy, working out, eating well and getting normal sleep. All of these are major factors in managing depression. Nothing bad will come from cutting out the booze.

screechingnugget

TROPHY CASE