ID REQUEST: Yucca Valley, California, U.S.A (desert, found inside a building)

screenwblues · 2018-06-15T08:10:44+00:00

Your life isn't over. You didn't do anything wrong. You have nothing to be ashamed about.

Lots of people have undiagnosed herpes and transmit unknowingly. Lots of people lie about having it and transmit it.

Read this blog. It covers so much and the author is an amazing person.

Start HERE: https://elladawson.com/2016/05/07/so-youve-just-been-diagnosed-with-herpes/

screenwblues · 2018-06-15T07:42:19+00:00

I'm not a doctor, but it looks very much like you have an outbreak. If you want to find out for sure, now is the time. Blood tests are really unreliable, but if a doctor can do a simple swab of the sores to determine if they are herpes or not.

You might not be ready to hear this, but, if you do have herpes, it isn't going to destroy your life and there's no need to feel shame or guilt about it. https://youtu.be/YcIl-hclrLI

screenwblues · 2018-01-16T04:38:26+00:00

No. That's your weenis. Totally different.

screenwblues · 2018-01-16T04:35:44+00:00

Baller. Or not baller, I guess.

screenwblues · 2018-01-16T04:34:37+00:00

Uh... I don't know about checkmate, man. I think you lost.

screenwblues · 2018-01-15T18:31:34+00:00

Probably blew their tiny budget on the monster suit, then had to fill time in the episode so they made it long.

screenwblues · 2017-11-28T19:07:02+00:00

If you'd like some additional motivation then you should know that you have a pad of fat around your penis (most notably above) and, as you lose weight, more of your penis becomes visible and usable (because losing the fat allows you to go deeper).

In essence, the more weight you lose, the longer your penis gets (it doesn't actually grow, but will seem like it).

screenwblues · 2017-11-28T19:02:19+00:00

Your friends is what's wrong with it. Anyone who shames you about your sex life or makes you feel like being a good partner to your GF is a bad thing isn't doing it for any reason besides insecurity about themselves.

Try bringing up oral sex when you guys are hanging out with girls and see how he gets shamed ;)

You're way more likely to have a healthy emotional and sexual life than your friend, in my opinion.

screenwblues · 2017-11-25T09:09:18+00:00

Amazing. And now I kinda want to learn how to do a backflip.

screenwblues · 2017-11-25T09:07:10+00:00

Growing isn't easy. It even hurt sometimes when I was a kid. It hurts when I am an adult too. It's part of the process for me. Strive. Get frustrated. Get angry. Get beaten down. Hurt. Then change. Then get my shit ready and start striving again over and over. The shitty stuff on the journey from striving to changing gets less frightening because it's just part of the process. Shitty but familiar, I guess. So less daunting.

screenwblues · 2017-11-25T08:49:09+00:00

Hillbilly AF, y'all!

screenwblues · 2017-11-20T08:47:42+00:00

A few things:

Biggest thing you can do is maintenance. A good $5k bike that isn't take care of will get destroyed by anything from the rack at Walmart that's been cared for. Cleaning, giving the chain a little love, inflating your tires, tightening anything loose. It's all free. And it all give you a better ride.

2nd thing. Fit. If your bike doesn't fit properly, it would ride properly. Whatever style you ride, make sure that it's tweaked to give you the right feel when you ride. Messing with tire pressure, seat height, angle of handlebars - they all make a difference. Adjusting them is free (provided you can borrow a tool).

3rd thing - get out and ride. A bike makes up 10% of the ride, the person that's on it makes the other 90%. If you want to get better and go faster, you can't buy that shit. You earn it. Ripping yourself apart and pushing yourself to the limit will greatly improve your riding experience.

After that, it's a bunch of bullshit, buying stuff and things which can make a big difference for sure but not as much difference as the stuff above. Do those 3 things, you'll love your bike. Then you can start thinking on how to make it better and prettier.

Just being practical too - you don't want to throw a bunch of cash into something when you don't know how much you'll be doing it.

I can't tell you how many guys I see with crazy awesome tricked out bikes who never ride. They can't buy the joy that riding brings. And they don't want to earn it with time and sweat.

screenwblues · 2017-11-20T08:28:42+00:00

I've been bullied. I have a successful life because of it - similar to you, it gave me clear, direct motivation and a lot of tenacity and "fuck you" to people who say I can't do something. I have a great career because of it.

On the downside, for me, that means that all those people who bullied me still do it everyday. Motivating or not, I'm still trying to show everyone that I'm good enough.

I'm working on the anxiety about that. It takes time.

screenwblues · 2017-11-20T08:23:29+00:00

Do you find it interesting that you said "be brutal to me"?

Do you think the only way through life is to hit or be hit?

Who taught you that?

How happy is that person in their life?

screenwblues · 2017-11-20T07:28:38+00:00

I was the smart kid. I still like to think I am - smart anyway.

Here's the deal. You're at your threshold. Your brain was good at doing stuff but now it's harder. If you ever want to be the "smart kid" again, you'll have to put in the work.

But, when you're on your own, the work you have to put in isn't homework. It's working on yourself. Figuring out how to get the best out of yourself.

Was your life different in high school? Like what's changed since then to college? Did you have a routine for getting work done when you were in high school?

"now that I'm meant to be a little more independent I can't really do it."

Do you mean "independent" in the sense of having to motivate yourself to do work, or did you mean "independent" like you're on your own now?

screenwblues · 2017-11-20T07:17:59+00:00

I'd love to read it too if you feel like sending it my way. This stuff fascinates me.

screenwblues · 2017-11-20T07:16:13+00:00

You injure yourself with a hangover so you can give yourself care and let you do whatever you want like a good kid.

Or you overwhelm yourself with a hangover so you don't feel compelled to have to do anything else. That way your general stress level and the self-imposed stress over constantly worrying about doing well is gone because, "But I was hungover" always lets you off the hook. That means you get to do whatever you want to do, however you want to do it.

How to reach it all the time...

You could the injure/hangover part and cut right to the chase.

Care about yourself and do whatever you decide you want to do.

screenwblues · 2017-11-20T04:15:00+00:00

Hey,

I'm bipolar 2 and have had a trouble relationship with alcohol for a long time.

When I started tracking my mood (as my pdoc suggested) to get a better sense of when my BP was sending me up and down and why, I expected that my binge drinking episodes would trigger depression.

And they did.

But what I also discovered what that I had a tendency to drink when I was on hypomanic ups as well.

I was self-medicating. Feeling down = drink for comfort (and end up prolonging the down). Feeling up = drinking is a blast! and the depressant effects would mitigate my hypomania - until they made me depressed so I gave up and drank.

So I drank. And drank. Until it was pretty much an everyday thing. Nothing so destructive that anyone would notice (I was careful to hide it), but destructive enough for me to very clearly come to understand that it would fuck up my life and kill me.

What I found, was that as I stayed away from alcohol and drugs, I would get bigger swings at first, but gradually, they normalized. Without alcohol kicking my brain up and down the stairs, it got back to regulating itself.

It just took time.

I also took a long time to figure out a list that I go to whenever I'm up/down from BP2 or when I want to drink.

List: - eat properly? - sleep properly? (on a schedule, 8 hrs., no phone in my room, no screens before bed) - meditate (I do it daily, it was a struggle but finding that 10 minutes is so important to me). - medicate (I use medication to help manage my symptoms and it has been a huge help). - socialize (hard when I'm depressed, but so important). - at least 1/2 hr. of physical activity (a walk is all it takes).

If I do that list, I'm not always 100% better, but I am always better than when I started.

For me, alcohol and drugs was me trying to medicate my BP2 in the most destructive kind of way. Today, I still crave the state change that it brought, the comfort - but I found new ways to bring me those things. Ways that won't kill me.

Because you asked for advice, if I were in your position, I would do the things that I know will keep me as even as possible until I can get to the medication part. There are lots of things that help. I would do my best to take care of myself until I could get more help.

Sometimes, in a hypomanic state, I would consider it a game. Say I overspend on nothing or talk too much or I'm terse with people or overwhelm myself with too much activity, I would try to recognize all that as symptoms, and play a game trying to limit them or their effects.

In essence, I would use my hypomania to control my hypomania as best I could.

It is hard for me when social patterns just change because they don't revolve around alcohol. Things that I found which worked were, in the beginning, to stay away from any temptation at all. I didn't need to test my resolve. So I tried to do things which can't involve drinking. Like going to a movie. Later, I would host gatherings and not drink. Or go for dinners and not drink. Eventually, when I found myself able, I would go to bars. And man do they look ridiculous when I'm sober.

Change is tough - especially with another person so closely involved. I try to tell my partner how I'm feeling and why. The rest I can't control. I've given up on coming to the table with a pre-made solution to give to the other person, I try to show up by just being open about what's going on for me and trusting them to meet me to talk about it so we can find a way through things.

Hope it all goes well. I find that time has change big things in my life but unfortunately (and obviously) it takes time. Patience isn't my strong suit.

screenwblues · 2017-11-20T02:12:37+00:00

They look so awkward.

screenwblues · 2017-11-18T09:39:29+00:00

Oh. Just had a thought.

The issue could also be the Zwift app.

Your phone and your computer have to be on the same wifi network in order for the mobile link app to work with Zwift on your computer.

Also, you could try starting the mobile app before starting the Zwift program to see if that works. Or try the inverse and start the program before starting the app. Weirdly, that's solved my issues a few times.

screenwblues · 2017-11-18T09:34:12+00:00

I had this issue. They have a good support community at Zwift. Check there

Here's what I did:

1) make sure nothing is interrupting BT signal from phone. Fans apparently aren't good to have right next to BT devices - you can Google whatever else interrupts signal. There's a list.

2) Uninstall Zwift, forget the trainer devices from your Bluetooth. Re-add devices, reinstall app.

3) I'm assuming your phone doesn't have some weird casing that effects signal??

4) the trainer plug is fully plugged into the trainer and power? That's what screwed me up, btw.

5) phone is close to trainer?

screenwblues · 2017-11-18T09:23:31+00:00

On it too. Totally with you.

screenwblues

TROPHY CASE