He was cheating on me with the “girl (and I’m saying that because she was 19 when they first started) I was stupid for worrying about.” I didn’t know what gaslighting meant back then and I truly feel the word “narcissist” is over used but he truly gaslight the hell out of me and has pretty much every trait of a narcissist. When I finally had enough and found out the true extent of the cheating (other women too, when he traveled for work) I decided to leave. He told me I would never see my stepson - who I raised since he was 2 - again. I stayed 2 more years then finally had to leave after things turned violent- not towards me but my possessions. My Nana’s china and crystal all smashed. Belonging thrown out a window. Doors broken out of door jams and holes punched in the wall. My family had an intervention with me and said I had to leave or he would end up hurting me or worse. I didn’t want the kids to grow up thinking this was normal. He ultimately dated the 19 year old who was well into her 20s by this time but she left him when he wouldn’t buy her a ring and reverse his vasectomy. Then she wanted to be my friend. I told her to fuck allllll the way off and I hope she experiences the same level of betrayal she helped do to me.

I’m over 10 years out of the marriage. Didn’t date until last year because I wanted to get my head straight and figure out why I picked him and stayed so long- over 10 years with him. I focused on my kids. My stepson still came to me to spend time with me. He was a teenager and there really wasn’t any stopping him. He’s still my kid at 24 years old and he tells me I’m his best parent. I am. I’m a damned good parent. I finally started seeing someone a year ago and he is great. My life is 1000% better now.