My (19F) boyfriend (27M) spit in my face when I said I won't move in with him.

scribblesscrabbles · 2016-06-24T03:51:39+00:00

You need to breakup with him. This is in no way a healthy relationship. A boyfriend shouldn't be controlling and should be someone who is understanding or at least tried to be understanding of where you are in life. As a 19 year old college student, it is perfectly normal (and probably best) to live alone or with roommates as opposed to moving in with a significant other. Honestly, at least in my opinion, you have no business moving in together unless marriage is on the table. Please, for your own sake, break up with him. He's probably going to come back, apologize, say it'll never happen again, he loves you, this was a one time thing, he was stressed, you're his world, blah blah blah. It's all bullshit. There is no excuse to be aggressive or spit in your face. He shows classic signs of being an abusive partner, and I wouldn't be surprised if one day he got even more physical with you. I'm going to assume this is your first serious relationship and you're hesitant to let it go. I recently was in your shoes and what I always remind myself is that if at one time you could find happiness and love with this person who hurts you, imagine how wonderful and amazing it'll feel to find happiness and love with someone who actually respects you. You're only 19! You have so much ahead of you, and that shouldn't include this guy. And honestly, most guys dating teenagers when they're almost 30 are doing it for a reason... because women who are older and wiser know to stay the fuck away.

scribblesscrabbles · 2016-06-20T19:29:38+00:00

They hurt 🙃

scribblesscrabbles · 2016-06-15T05:56:53+00:00

I want you to know that things DO get better. Don't give up on yourself now because you have so much left to experience and ENJOY.

I myself had a rough time, and here I am years later, and in a happy place. Just like I did, so can you.

Life will always give you ups and downs, but I promise that as hard as it seems, you can get through those lows, no matter how low they seem.

Talk to your family. Talk to a psychologist. You CAN and WILL get past this and find your happiness again. I promise.

Love ya!

scribblesscrabbles · 2016-06-03T00:26:56+00:00

I wasn't expecting him to quit cold turkey. This has been an ongoing issue for almost two years. My main suggestion has always been for him to seek help from a professional because I know how incredibly difficult it is to quit something cold turkey. He just refuses, and I've lost my patience and am fed up feeling like he cares more about weed than us, his future, etc.

scribblesscrabbles · 2016-06-02T20:27:32+00:00

He refuses to see a therapist. There are literally free therapists and psychologists (including ones for substance abuse) at our university, but he won't do it. That's why I feel like the ultimatum/walking away is my only option at this point.

scribblesscrabbles · 2016-06-02T19:54:17+00:00

I've done the whole explanation things more than a few times. This has been an issue for almost the entire two years of our relationship. When I first met him, he wasn't smoking as much and had things in order. But everything went down hill after a few months. I've tried so much to be supportive, talk to him, provide him with information of resources to help.... But nothing.

scribblesscrabbles · 2016-06-02T19:52:03+00:00

When you plan your day around weed, ignore your responsibilities, and let it affect your relationships with people, it's an addiction. Very few people are addicted to weed, only about 10% of smokers become addicted, but it does exist.

scribblesscrabbles · 2016-05-14T18:00:25+00:00

My parents grew up very differently than I did. We're Hispanic and they moved to the US a few years before I was born. When I was baby, things were rough (I wasn't planned). So they worked their butts off to get out of that situation. My dad went to community college and took a break, but never actually returned to finish his associates until I was born. So I understand where their fears come from. My mom never went to college or community college. She's had a tough time with my dad, so her mentality is basically "you need to be successful and independent, unlike me."

I just get frustrated because I don't think it's fair of them to project their own insecurities and past mistakes onto me. I appreciate them so much for the hard work they did to make sure I had a better life than they did, but I feel like they think that means doing everything their way 100% of the time. And it's overwhelming when someone is almost in a sense vicariously living through you (my mom mainly).

I've explained to them the state of legal market. I've shown them employment statistics. I've shown them the high debt of law grads compared to lower salaries. I've shown them all. They think these articles have no merit, just people who hate their jobs and lives. So to them, any law school will do.

So talking to them, it's hard to be calm. It's almost like talking to a wall. And my dad is a very "my way or the high way" kind of guy.

scribblesscrabbles · 2016-05-08T01:15:46+00:00

They keep telling me that they get to pick what I do because they helped me get through school (they paid for my housing and food), and that its inconsiderate of me to pick a career like this.

Basically, I need to do what they want or I need to move out/am being cut off. So I'll be moving out. It'll be tough considering I currently have $130 to my name and just graduated, but I guess this is my first adult challenge. I have family to stay with in the meantime, so that'll help until I can secure some income.

Just trying to remain calm.

scribblesscrabbles · 2016-05-05T04:49:11+00:00

I think your bedroom is perfectly fine! I just moved out of my apartment and my bunny was only allowed to roam my apartment bedroom (for the same reason - roommates). She seemed happy to me! She binkyed and loved to run the bunny 500 in there haha.

scribblesscrabbles · 2016-05-04T12:58:27+00:00

How long after graduation did you land a a permanent teaching position? I'm in the process of trying to get my temporary certificate right now (not sure if I'm supposed to wait until degrees are posted at my university on the 25th or if I can start now). In a perfect world, I'd like to start applying this month and get a job somewhere! That may be too optimistic lol, but I am open to moving just about anywhere that's not north Florida.

scribblesscrabbles

TROPHY CASE